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Over the years I have been writting down all of my favorite quotes said by friends, family, strangers, and so on.  I put them in a book called "The Best of Quotes".  All quotes are either very funny, clever, or stupid.  So if I live to be old, I'll have this to look back on. 

 

Here's some of the quotes I have:

 

Friend:  "Which complex do you live in?"

Me:  "Aston Woods"

Friend:  Oh!  That's the one where I don't know where it is."

 

 

Friend:  "I had a dream last night--"

Me:  "Me too!"

Friend:  *thumbs down* "Boo!  Only me!"

 

 

Friend:  "I had time to go home.  DId I menton I was already in my house?"

 

 

Study talking to toddler son:  "We're gonna talk to God.  You wanna talk to God?"

Toddler:  *looks at phone*

 

 

Friend 1:  "I heard of a guy in a motorcycle accident and his head was on one side of the street and his body was on the other."

Friend 2:  "That's a bad day."

 

 

Friend:  "So the lady asked me which marriage I was, like if it was my first of second.  And I said 'my 1st', and she put down a zero.  It's my zeroth marriage.  I mean, come on, that's not even a word!"

 

 

Let me hear some of your favorite quotes!  Maybe I'll add it to my book!  And I'll post more of my quotes as we go along.

~Van

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Those are more like jokes or small andidotes to me.  Here are a few of my favorite quotes or sayings:

 

1) If Jehovah loves you, you have everything you need

 

2) Developing the mind is important, but developing a conscience is the most precious gift parents can give their children.

 

3) Small compromises lead to BIG disasters.

 

4) Don't live for the moment - live for the future.

 

5) It doesn't pay to disobey.

 

6) Just because we are made of dust doesn't mean Jehovah treats us like dirt.

Don't live for the moment - live for the future! :D

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A customer that used to frequent a pizza place I worked in many, many years ago was a Psychiatrist from India. He had lived and practiced in several countries. I asked him if he found things different here (the US) then where he was from.

 

He said, "Nope, people are crazy the same all over the world."

"Let all things take place decently and by arrangement."
~ 1 Corinthians 14:40 ~

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  • 3 months later...

Some people are so narrow minded they can look through a keyhole with both eyes - Foghorn Leghorn.

CAUTION: The comments above may contain personal opinion, speculation, inaccurate information, sarcasm, wit, satire or humor, let the reader use discernment...:D

 

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Heres a couple I heard which prove rote memorizing phrases and prayers is not useful.

 

A.) One of my nephews learned the  American flag salute in school. He came home and recited it thus: A rutabaga to the flag....  (from the opening line....... I pledge allegiance to)

 

B.) I heard a young lad say "God is a string bean,"  after having heard someone say that  God is a Supreme Being 

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