Have you ever wondered...(funny stuff only)

[kejedo]

Horse joke: There were General Stores, where i lived in Maine, and the Mom and Pop owners were steps ahead of everyone else. One day a horse owner stepped in to one of these local establishments, as his horse's blanket had been rendered useless with wear, and needed replacement. He explained his plight to the owner, who quickly came back with the only horse blanket in the house. "This is 50$," reported the merchant. "Is it the best quality you have?" asked the horse owner. "No," said the merchant, I have only one left of superior quality. It is in the 100 dollar category" "Can you bring it out, please?" asked the equestrain. (Inside joke).  The shopkeeper took his solitary blanket back and then returned with the very same one in his hands. "This is the finest quality horse blanket one can find anywhere." "It certainly is replied the horseman. Ring it up, please."  The shopkeeper kept a straight face as he rang up the sale. "Incidentally," said the horse owner, "throw that cheap one in as a back up." Hay Hay

Edited June 11, 2015 by kejedo

[ChrisC]

 

I like your post, Chris. I know this isn't funny, so please don't bump me from this thread. However, I think words and names can take connotations after being applied. Job may have simply meant hard working, and over time came to imply 'patient' and 'object of hostility.' The word 'impetuous' may have been influenced by the name 'Peter,'  or Simon's name may have been expanded to include an adjective that fit his personality. I know all word roots are not completely searchable, and not all secondary understandings have been recorded. This is conjecture.   Shoot me now, etymology haters. 

No, I'm pretty sure he was called Lucky Dave.

Edited June 11, 2015 by Musky
Fixed quote

[Qapla]

Since a General out ranks a Major - why is something of Major Importance more important that something of General Importance?

[jpcook]

Did you hear what the astronaut said when they found "cows bones" on the moon?

 

 

"I guess he didn't make it!"

[Tortuga]

Did you hear what the astronaut said when they found "cows bones" on the moon?

 

 

"I guess he didn't make it!"

 

I heard it was udder destruction...

[ChrisC]

I like your post, Chris. I know this isn't funny, so please don't bump me from this thread. However, I think words and names can take connotations after being applied. Job may have simply meant hard working, and over time came to imply 'patient' and 'object of hostility.' The word 'impetuous' may have been influenced by the name 'Peter,'  or Simon's name may have been expanded to include an adjective that fit his personality. I know all word roots are not completely searchable, and not all secondary understandings have been recorded. This is conjecture.   Shoot me now, etymology haters.     

I thought you might enjoy this:

http://www.ojohaven.com/fun/negations.html

[kejedo]

I thought you might enjoy this:

http://www.ojohaven.com/fun/negations.html

Thanks! This is belly-laughable . Prefixes and suffixes were added to existing words (ex. un, dis, de, mis, in, non,less,) and the root word frequently became obsolete (as in ruth, which is not used anymore, but ruthless is.) Love it, YS, (pauline) the word nerd who kills the joke with  long winded history which renders the hysterical to just historical.     "Keep putting up".......well, you know the rest.

[Luezette]

I'm joining:

Have you ever wondered why with an adult that noise from your stomach after eating is called a belch, yet with a baby it's called a burp?

Have you ever wondered why when an adult is crying and someone holds the adult and he or she quiets down it's called they were comforted, yet when the same is done to a child and that child quiets down that child is said to be "spoiled rotten"?

Edited June 13, 2015 by Luezette

[Oyin]

LoL. . . This is so funny. I just wanted to add that in the bible, the number 4 symbolizes whole/completeness. And so that inspired account alright.

[ChrisC]

Have you ever wondered why the human finger is the perfect shape for running silicon sealant around the top of a bath tub?

It's as if Jehovah made it that way and then said, "You will thank me later."

[Tortuga]

Have you ever wondered why the human finger is the perfect shape for running silicon sealant around the top of a bath tub?

It's as if Jehovah made it that way and then said, "You will thank me later."

So is the human tongue but would that be a misuse of our assets?

 

[kejedo]

So is the human tongue but would that be a misuse of our assets?

 

Well, if we used it to seal a bath-tub, or grout some tile, that would probably be misuse, and in poor taste. 

[kejedo]

When the raisin bran cereal says two scoops, how big is each scoop?

[Tortuga]

When the raisin bran cereal says two scoops, how big is each scoop?

Twice as much as half a scoop?

[Luezette]

Lol. I haven't the foggiest idea. Yet just to make sure there's enough raisins, I like add a few more.

[Luezette]

Another one:

Tropicana says their orange juice is free of additives, preservatives. Really? I think not. Please consider:

Take an orange. Juice it. Place in refrigerator. Now how long do you think your freshly squeezed orange juice will stay fresh? Certainly not as long as Tropicana's juice. Why? Because they're lying. There's something they put in their juice to make it stay fresh on the shelf as long as it does.

Edited June 14, 2015 by Luezette

[kejedo]

Why is not-from-concentrate OJ stored longer than reconstituted from concentrate?  Sorry, this isn't funny, but not-from-concentrate is stored longer and has items like fragrances added. So, mayu of us have allergic reactions to the higher priced juice. 

[kejedo]

Also not funny, but have you ever wondered why an extra 50 percent off is applied to an item that is already 50 percent off, but you still have to pay for it.

[Tortuga]

Also not funny, but have you ever wondered why an extra 50 percent off is applied to an item that is already 50 percent off, but you still have to pay for it.

True but Nothin' from nothin' leaves nothin'

[Luezette]

Pauline, "fragrances"? Oh my goodness! I never knew. Just another reason I'm not buying juice, I just eat the fruit and drink lots of water. But, oh my goodness, to think I gave the stuff to my children when younger thinking it was good for them.

[kejedo]

 

True but Nothin' from nothin' leaves nothin'

 

Does anybody still remember Billy Preston? I used this song when teaching Middle School math. 

[Tortuga]

Does anybody still remember Billy Preston? I used this song when teaching Middle School math. 

He was the best part of the Beatle movie he was in.

[Tortuga]

Why is not-from-concentrate OJ stored longer than reconstituted from concentrate?  Sorry, this isn't funny, but not-from-concentrate is stored longer and has items like fragrances added. So, mayu of us have allergic reactions to the higher priced juice. 

I heard that a shot of vodka kills the fragrances.

[kejedo]

Have you wondered why Mary had a Little Lamb and Merrily We Roll Along are the same tune? Twinkle Twinkle Little star and the A-B-C-D-E-F-G song are also the same tune. If we are farther from perfection why were people re-using these limited musical attempts? And George Harrison got sued and won a copyright infringment for repeating (stealing?) a tune.  Also, has any piano student in Hong Kong ever played Chop Sticks? While I'm at it, why did Sonny Bono's songs every become popular, when he only composed using three chords. 

[kejedo]

I heard that a shot of vodka kills the fragrances.

Maybe I'll give it a shot and work out a proof.