My off topic thread

[Katty]

4 hours ago, kejedo said:

At an elegant dinner party, my (then) sister-in-law asked if she would like a filet mignon. "No thanks, I hate fish" was her winched answer.

I have a friend who went crabbing with filet mignon. They were given it as a gift and thought "what is this meat wrapped in bacon?" They didn't know what to do with it, so they used it as crab bait XD

Edited July 16, 2018 by Katty

[CHecker]

2 hours ago, Katty said:

I have a friend who went crabbing with filet mignon. They were given it as a gift and thought "what is this meat wrapped in bacon?" They didn't know what to do with it, so they used it as crab bait XD

[EccentricM]

9 hours ago, Tortuga said:

I'd love to be there when Charlton Heston meets the real Mosses...

"He looks nothing like me!" - Charlton Heston

[ChrisC]

Emma said yesterday ‘These new glove-shaped wipes for my feet are really good. Much easier.’

But I thought she said ‘Much cheesier’.

 

I think I got carried away on Amazon Prime Day. My pistol-shaped infrared thermometer has turned up, along with 2.5kg (5.5lb) of bicarbonate of soda for scrubbing my teeth.

[SueFrog]

A lady I know is renowned for being talkative and not listening to other people. She just talks about herself all the time and rarely comes up for air. She was telling me the other day how her friend had called round for coffee at 6pm one evening. .....And I quote.....

"Well, we had coffee and I was chatting away and the next thing I looked up and my friend was asleep. Mind you, it was 2am in the morning"     

[Loopy]

Got a waffle maker. 

 

Making some for supper.  

 

We’ll see. 

[Loopy]

 

O yummy! 😁😁😁😁😁😁

 

Edited July 19, 2018 by Loopy

[ChrisC]

3 hours ago, SueFrog said:

A lady I know is renowned for being talkative and not listening to other people. She just talks about herself all the time and rarely comes up for air. She was telling me the other day how her friend had called round for coffee at 6pm one evening. .....And I quote.....

"Well, we had coffee and I was chatting away and the next thing I looked up and my friend was asleep. Mind you, it was 2am in the morning"     

Hopefully the friend wasn’t by the window like poor Eutychus. 😮

[ChrisC]

On 7/19/2018 at 8:41 PM, ChrisC said:

...

I think I got carried away on Amazon Prime Day. My pistol-shaped infrared thermometer has turned up, ...

Someone installed the thermodynamics upside down in our new fridge! It’s 2°C at the top and 8°C at the bottom.

 

(I thought it must be coldest up the top, next to the ice-box thing, but I wasn’t expecting such a difference after the door had been shut for hours. I might have to start reading instructions. Scary.)

[➕👇 ꓤꓱꓷꓠꓵ🎵Tone]

Warmer air rises...

Older
{still waiting for the 'Wiser'}

[Tortuga]

Last night something reminded me of Carrie Underwood's song "Jesus Take The Wheel"

So this morning I wrote a follow up song for her...

 

Jesus took the wheel

And turned the car around

“This roads not safe, the traffic is bad

And we are running out of time”

The road was broad and spacious;

It had looked good to me

Horns blared and lights flashed,

There was anger and hostility.

 

(Chorus)

Jesus, take the wheel,

You are going where I want to be.

The road less traveled is narrow and cramped

It’s difficult to see,

You gave me one more chance

But I can’t do it on my own.

Jesus, take the wheel

Keep me on the road I’m on

 

The new road is rough and rocky,

The car has a few more dings

There just isn’t room

For some of the nicer things

The road signs are clear,

The end is near

He knows where to go

 

(Chorus)

Jesus, take the wheel,

You are going where I want to be.

The road less traveled is narrow and cramped

It’s difficult to see,

You gave me one more chance

But I can’t do it on my own.

Jesus, take the wheel

Keep me on the road I’m on

 

The road lights are brighter and there’s a glow in the hills

The road is long and hard but has a beauty all its own

The broad road was easy,

So is sin

I thank Jehovah for saving me

From the traffic jam I was in

 

(Chorus)

Jesus, take the wheel,

You are going where I want to be.

The road less traveled is narrow and cramped

It’s difficult to see,

You gave me one more chance

But I can’t do it on my own.

Jesus, take the wheel

Keep me on the road I’m on

 

Edited July 26, 2018 by Tortuga

[CouveBro]

Since you mentioned Carrie Underwood...not that I was able to do a follow I did change a word on one of her other songs and gives me a lift every time it plays...It's Cupid's Got a Shotgun but based on the lyrics I chose to replace it with Satan. 

 

Oh he gave up on arrows a long, long time ago
Turns out I’m too hard to hit so he put away his bow
I might just keep on running from here to Timbuktu
‘Cause he gave up on arrows and I ain’t bulletproof

 

Yeah Satan’s got a shotgun aiming at my heart
I’ve been dodging bullets, I’ve been hiding in the dark
Sawed off double barrel, trigger happy as could be
Satan’s got a shotgun and he’s pointing it at me

 

He’s sitting in that tree stand and his wings are camouflage
I’m dug down in my foxhole waiting on his next barrage
Must be open season, got a target on my back
Think he’s throwing love grenades and I’m under attack

 

Yeah Satan’s got a shotgun aiming at my heart
I’ve been dodging bullets, I’ve been hiding in the dark
Sawed off double barrel, trigger happy as could be
Satan’s got a shotgun and he’s pointing it at me

 

Yeah

 

Well he’s got me in his sights, I’ve got a red dot on my chest
But little does he know I strapped on my Kevlar vest
I pulled out my Remington and I loaded up these shells
He’s about to find out I’m a dang good shot myself

 

Yeah Satan’s got a shotgun aiming at my heart
I’ve been dodging bullets, I’ve been hiding in the dark
Sawed off double barrel, trigger happy as could be
Satan’s got a shotgun and he’s pointing it at me

 

Yeah Satan’s got a shotgun
But right now he’s running from me

[blueyellow]

 

Hungarian architecture's interesting. 

[CHecker]

Sometimes it's ok to have pork rinds for dinner.....

[ChrisC]

Luke 12:55 And when you see that a south wind is blowing, you say, ‘There will be a heat wave,’ and it occurs. 

 

Mum used to have a national daily ‘newspaper’ delivered that would typically be over-dramatic if we ever had a warm day. The Byington translation of the above made me chuckle:

“and when you see the wind in the south you say ‘there will be a scorcher,’ and there is.”

 

[Tortuga]

8 minutes ago, ChrisC said:

Luke 12:55 And when you see that a south wind is blowing, you say, ‘There will be a heat wave,’ and it occurs. 

 

Mum used to have a national daily ‘newspaper’ delivered that would typically be over-dramatic if we ever had a warm day. The Byington translation of the above made me chuckle:

“and when you see the wind in the south you say ‘there will be a scorcher,’ and there is.”

 

Something I ate was causing a South wind yesterday.

Excuse me.....

[Katty]

GEmojis I associate with various friends on here

Tortuga cuz he's always cracking a joke

Hope

Ferb 

Bjern 

Br arellano 

Myew✖️ pretend that x is cat XD....or a bowtie

Eccentric M

 

Edited August 4, 2018 by Katty

[Raven]

43 minutes ago, Katty said:

GEmojis I associate with various friends on here

Tortuga cuz he's always cracking a joke

Hope

Ferb 

Bjern 

Br arellano 

Myew✖️ pretend that x is cat XD....or a bowtie

Eccentric M

 

You got me right...I actually have three of those douli conical hats at home (one I gave to my mother), and a similar style hat from Cambodia.  And I also have a hat from Czech that looks like a cowboy hat. 

[Tortuga]

Just now, Katty said:

Tortuga cuz he's always cracking a joke

I think I'm more of a than a  it just looks insane. 

Oh..unless...I am 

Nah, couldn't be. 

I'm not crazy and I got papers to prove it...

[Myew]

10 hours ago, Katty said:

Myew✖️ pretend that x is cat XD....or a bowtie

[Katty]

10 hours ago, Myew said:

Prrrrfect

[Tortuga]

What is the JW equivalent of the expression PC - Politically Correct? 

TC- Theocratically Correct?

SWS-Seasoned With Salt?

 

[ChrisC]

My avatar is freaking me out!

[Tortuga]

1 hour ago, ChrisC said:

My avatar is freaking me out!

Don't get paranoid but I think the eyes are following you...

[ChrisC]

It wasn’t me okay!

 

Kuwaiti shop caught sticking googly eyes on fish

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-45398254

 

Emma didn’t get round to buying me some for our anniversary so I bought some myself! 

“I haven’t even opened them Your Honour.”