Things You Shouldn't Say!

[Precision]

ANSWER.   Wow., such a nice pleasant voice,  The last time I called , an untrained tyrannical sailor trained parrot answered .

 

NEXT.   How to respond to an irate householder, who says “anyone who is a friend of my mother is a friend of mine,  

               I was ready To grab the fully loaded shotgun from behind the door, thought you were law enforcement !!!  “.        

                (true story, before the pandemic)

Edited December 31, 2020 by Precision

[Nelly Kim]

On 12/31/2020 at 3:00 PM, Precision said:

  I was ready To grab the fully loaded shotgun from behind the door, thought you were law enforcement !!!  “. 

               

Answer: I am.. Its an undercover Operation.. Hand's up...... Muaahahahahaha

 

New: What not to say when a child keeps poking you and disturbing you at the hall, and the mother pretends she's paying rapt attention

[Katty]

3 minutes ago, Nelly Michael said:

Answer: I am.. Its an undercover Operation.. Hand's up...... Muaahahahahaha

 

New: What not to say when a child keeps poking you and disturbing you at the hall, and the mother pretends she's paying rapt attention

Answer: Keep poking and disturbing the mom every single time the kid pokes you saying "Hey, how do you like that? You like it? Huh huh?"
New: What not to say to a sister who gained 50 pounds in a month.

[Precision]

Answer :  Have you picked out some nice biblical example names for your future triplets ?

 

Question :  What not to say to a chained dog who just leaped into the air and came close to biting your face, 

                    And then grabbed and tore up the memorial invitation from your service partner.

[Loopy]

1 hour ago, Nelly Michael said:

 

 

New: What not to say when a child keeps poking you and disturbing you at the hall, and the mother pretends she's paying rapt attention

Not going to answer cause something like this actually happened quite a few years ago at the K H. Only it was a very undisciplined child rattling change in his pocket entire meeting. And the “sister”/ mom never took eyes off the publication. 
 

Told my mom I was going to the ladies room or I was going to take a bat after the kid. 

 

[Luisabola]

On 1/18/2021 at 5:25 PM, Loopy said:

Not going to answer cause something like this actually happened quite a few years ago at the K H. Only it was a very undisciplined child rattling change in his pocket entire meeting. And the “sister”/ mom never took eyes off the publication. 
 

Told my mom I was going to the ladies room or I was going to take a bat after the kid. 

 

If it really bothered you, there were a number of ways it could have been handled. You could have told an attendant. Sometimes mums tune out. (I know I do). So a kind word from an attendant may have diffused the situation. Or if you felt brave you could have quietly asked her yourself, in a kind way, something like “not sure if you noticed but *insert kids name* is rattling coins in his pocket and I’m having trouble concentrating.” Or, if you’re not feeling brave move to another seat quietly and without fuss so as not to offend. (Usually seats up front are best if you’re sensitive to children’s noise as families tend to sit at the back, and there’s usually 2 rows free at the front of the hall!) I just want to say that it’s VERY hard with children at the meetings, it’s good that mum was there at all. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I would be mortified if my child was disturbing someone and I hadn’t noticed so it would be so appreciated if someone told me, a quick reprimand for the child to behave or when they get home they’d lose TV privileges or something equally devastating to a young child would suffice. Anyhoo, back to the game.

Answer: ATTACK DOGGY!! I realllllly didn’t want to work with them anyway. 

 

New one: Things you shouldn’t say to a friend that has a HUGE whitehead spot on their chin.

[Omoyeme]

13 minutes ago, Luisabola said:

New one: Things you shouldn’t say to a friend that has a HUGE whitehead spot on their chin.

 

Wow! That sure is a HUGH whitehead spot on your chin...what happened?

 

New: What you should not say to a former Pharaoh when he's resurrected. 

 

[Luisabola]

2 minutes ago, Omoyeme said:

New: What you should not say to a former Pharaoh when he's resurrected. 

I am the goddess Osiris. You are in your afterlife... JOKE! Just paradise earth. 
 

New: Things you shouldn’t say to a governing body member if you accidentally bump into them at a convention (if we ever go back to conventions 😬).

[Pabo]

On 1/22/2021 at 8:50 AM, Luisabola said:

New: Things you shouldn’t say to a governing body member if you accidentally bump into them at a convention (if we ever go back to conventions 😬).

Answer: Can you put in a good word for me when you see Jesus?

 

New: What not to say whilst being tortured?

[Gruder]

2 hours ago, Pabo said:

Answer: Can you put in a good word for me when you see Jesus?

 

New: What not to say whilst being tortured?

Answer -  Thank you Sir can I have Another. 

 

New- What not to say to your first door back in the Ministry? 

[Tortuga]

47 minutes ago, Gruder said:

New- What not to say to your first door back in the Ministry? 

I'm sure you remember what we talked about the last time I was here...

 

What not to say to a resurrected person petting a Lion: Have all of the lions been tamed yet?

[Qapla]

44 minutes ago, Tortuga said:

What not to say to a resurrected person petting a Lion: Have all of the lions been tamed yet?

Or maybe - Look what the cat dragged in ...

 

 

[Esined]

On 8/25/2022 at 10:55 PM, Qapla said:

Or maybe - Look what the cat dragged in ...

 

 

Here I was all ready to play this game and neither of you left a new situation!

[Qapla]

1 hour ago, Esined said:

Here I was all ready to play this game and neither of you left a new situation!

 

Oh, I don't know - I'm sure if you really tried you could find some sort of cat & mouse game here ...

 

[Tortuga]

2 hours ago, Esined said:

Here I was all ready to play this game and neither of you left a new situation!

My bad.

 

What don't you say to someone that wants to play a game and you didn't give them a line...?

[Esined]

Answer - Figure it out, toots!

 

Situation - You’re back out door to door for the first time in 3 years, and someone answers the door with a wig on backwards.

 

What not to say?

[Tortuga]

13 minutes ago, Esined said:

Answer - Figure it out, toots!

 

Situation - You’re back out door to door for the first time in 3 years, and someone answers the door with a wig on backwards.

 

What not to say?

Are you coming or going?

 

New: What should you not say to someone wearing house slippers at the KH?

[Gruder]

16 minutes ago, Esined said:

Answer - Figure it out, toots!

 

Situation - You’re back out door to door for the first time in 3 years, and someone answers the door with a wig on backwards.

 

What not to say?

You look like Donald Trump!

 

[Gruder]

1 minute ago, Tortuga said:

New: What should you not say to someone wearing house slippers at the KH?

Did you just come from Walmart? 

 

New: A brother wears shorts to his first day back door to door?

[Leonard Match Valid]

42 minutes ago, Gruder said:

Did you just come from Walmart? 

 

New: A brother wears shorts to his first day back door to door?

Answer: "how was the vacation ?"

New: what not to tell the astronaut from Artemis 1 ?

[Qapla]

Answer: "Are you sure you're not a dummy?"

 

 

[Pabo]

On 9/2/2022 at 7:29 AM, Qapla said:

Answer: "Are you sure you're not a dummy?"

No, but Snoopy is. But he wishes for a muppet to be his co-pilot. Have you applied?

 

 

New situation: Going door to door and arriving at a house where the householder barely hanging onto his gutter on a 2 story building where there are only cactus plants in his garden below him?

 

 

Edited October 7, 2022 by Pabo

[Precision]

5 hours ago, Pabo said:

 

New situation: Going door to door and arriving at a house where the householder barely hanging onto his gutter on a 2 story building where there are only cactus plants in his garden below him?

 

 

Answer:   “There you are, we’ve been looking all over for you.   If I grab the ladder, Will you promise to install a gutter screen, trim the cactus, and agree to a progressive bible study ? “

 

New:    What to say to your new 40 year old prospective bible study, when he says:

“I have to ask my Mom first ! “. 

 

Edited October 7, 2022 by Precision

[Esined]

What not to answer: "Let's talk about the statute of limitations on Ephesians 6:2."

 

New situation: What not to say when a brother you've only seen in a mask for the last year shows up to the KH maskless, with a lot of nostril hair you don't remember him having?

 

 

 

p.s. sorry, I am clearly 12 years old right now lol

 

 

 

 

[Pabo]

On 10/8/2022 at 2:44 AM, Esined said:

New situation: What not to say when a brother you've only seen in a mask for the last year shows up to the KH maskless, with a lot of nostril hair you don't remember him having?

Brother, would you like some DDT to sniff to get rid of those caterpillars?

 

Situation: A sister walked out of the toilets with a long train of toilet paper that had got caught between her skirt and underclothing? (Yes, this had happened at our KH).