Bible accounts that make you laugh

[Gimestr]

Are there any bible accounts or verses that make you laugh?

 

1 Samuel 5 makes me laugh, it's not funny in nature, but when I imagine the events that occur and how they react, it makes me laugh out loud.

 

This is when the Philistines take the Ark of Jehovah and Jehovah puts a "heavy hand" on the people of those cities.  He gives them piles or as we know it today, hemorrhoids.  Every time I read it and get to the part where they are just begging the priest to send the Ark away to another city I just imagine them holding their bottoms while supplicating their lords.  It always makes me laugh.  Especially the part where it is in route to Ekron, and the Ekronites are just freaking out because they know what is coming to them.  I just imagine the fear in their eyes as they know what is gonna happen to them.  Then when it arrives they have to make 5 golden piles and that just makes me laugh even more.  I know it is sophomoric and crude humor but it makes me giggle.

 

Any accounts that make you laugh?

Edited January 21, 2019 by Gimestr
Corrected bible verse

[Cushi]

There are 3 that come to mind. One is found at Acts 19:13-16. It says:

 

Quote

13 But some of the Jews who traveled around casting out demons also tried to use the name of the Lord Jesus over those who had wicked spirits; they would say: “I solemnly charge you by Jesus whom Paul preaches.”+14 Now there were seven sons of a Jewish chief priest named Sceʹva doing this. 15 But in answer the wicked spirit said to them: “I know Jesus+ and I am acquainted with Paul;+ but who are you?” 16 At that the man with the wicked spirit leaped on them, overpowered them one after the other, and prevailed against them, so that they fled naked and wounded out of that house

I laugh every time I read the demon saying “I know Jesus and I am acquainted with Paul; but who are you” before leaping on the men.

 

The second is 2 Timothy 4:3, where it talks about people surrounding themselves with teachers to have their “ears tickled”. It tickles me every time. 

 

The third one is psalm 37:12,13, which says:

 

Quote

12 The wicked man plots against the righteous;+

He grinds his teeth at him.

13 But Jehovah will laugh at him,

For He knows that his day will come.+

 

Yes, Jehovah will get the last laugh lol

[Qapla]

The first one that comes to mind, for me, is one that always makes me smile - in a sardonic way ...

 

(Judges 8:13-16) . . . 13Gidʹe·on the son of Joʹash then returned from the war by way of the pass that goes up to Heʹres. 14 En route he captured and interrogated a young man from Sucʹcoth. So the young man wrote out for him the names of the princes and elders of Sucʹcoth, 77 men. 15 With that he went to the men of Sucʹcoth and said: “Here are Zeʹbah and Zal·munʹna about whom you taunted me, saying, ‘Are the palms of Zeʹbah and Zal·munʹna already in your hand so that we should give bread to your exhausted men?’” 16 Then he took the elders of the city and with thorns and briars of the wilderness, he taught the men of Sucʹcoth a lesson. . .
 

   I look forward to finding out just what did he do to/with those guys   

 

I also enjoy this one:

(1 Kings 18:27) . . .About noon E·liʹjah began to mock them and say: “Call out at the top of your voice! After all, he is a god! Perhaps he is deep in thought or he has gone to relieve himself. Or maybe he is asleep and someone needs to wake him up!” 
 

[Gimestr]

48 minutes ago, Qapla said:

(1 Kings 18:27) . . .About noon E·liʹjah began to mock them and say: “Call out at the top of your voice! After all, he is a god! Perhaps he is deep in thought or he has gone to relieve himself. Or maybe he is asleep and someone needs to wake him up!” 

 

Oh, yes, I laughed at that one too.  It's not every day that you see a prophet of Jehovah mocking someone.

 

2 hours ago, Brother Jack said:

The second is 2 Timothy 4:3, where it talks about people surrounding themselves with teachers to have their “ears tickled”. It tickles me every time. 

I see what you did there.  Nice.  

Edited January 21, 2019 by Gimestr

[Thomas Walker]

"You whitewashed wall!"

[sunshine]

I'm ashamed at some that make me laugh because they usually involve someone dying (which isn't funny) but...the lepers of Sameria are pretty funny stuffing their faces and stealing all night and then having a crisis of conscience just be for sun-up.  But I can't help it, the kings adjutant who doubted Elisha .... I can't help but think of him trying to tell the starving masses to form an orderly line just before he was flattened in the mad rush.

 

Brother Jackson beautifully bought out the humour in Hamans conversation with Ahasuerus when he couldnt sleep (Esther 6) its really funny.

 

Others are the donkey with more "sense" than Balaam (Num 22), Balaam is so mad biblically speaking his donkey speaking to him doesn't give him reason to pause, he actually answers the donkey!  I mean if you tried to vaccume a corner in your house and your vaccume said "Nope, not going there... " you'd at least pause a minute... say to yourself "Er...wait a  minute did my vaccume just speak to me?!"

Edited January 21, 2019 by sunshine

[Skye]

2 Sam 10 - Sad account, but imagining David’s servants walking around wearing garments cut in half to expose their buttocks paints a very funny picture. 

 

Acts 20:9 - Eutychus...what a long sermon! Oops!

 

Exodus 32:20 - Imagine the next bowel movement for the Israelites after drinking ‘the golden drink’...prune juice anyone?

 

 

[pholmes38]

I love one of the great understatements in the Bible, at Exodus.14:25

 

[Jehovah] kept taking wheels off their chariots so that they were driving them with difficulty

[Ludwika]

I love the way the previous translation said "and Jonah proceeded to get up and run away". I would have done the same! And, again old translation, Job 42:8. Jehovah is basically saying" if I have to look at your faces I might do something to you! " I laugh every time. The new translation does miss a few of these nuances.

[Gimestr]

(Judges 16:16) Because day after day she kept nagging him and pressuring him, he was weary to the point of dying. 

 

I find it funnier in Spanish as it loosely translates "he became impatient to the point of wanting to die" giving the impression that she nagged him to death.  A single brother in my hall(when I attended spanish) used to read this text to those who asked him why he wasn't married.

 

(Jueces 16:16) Y aconteció que, porque ella lo apremiaba con sus palabras en todo tiempo, y seguía instándolo, el alma de él se impacientó hasta desear morir. 

Edited January 21, 2019 by Gimestr

[Tortuga]

“5 When the Phi·lisʹtines captured the Ark of the true God, they brought it from Eb·en·eʹzer to Ashʹdod. 2 The Phi·lisʹtines took the Ark of the true God and brought it into the house of Daʹgon and set it beside Daʹgon. 3 When the Ashʹdod·ites got up early the next day, there was Daʹgon fallen facedown on the ground before the Ark of Jehovah. So they took Daʹgon and returned him to his place. 4 When they got up early in the morning on the following day, there was Daʹgon fallen facedown on the ground before the Ark of Jehovah. The head of Daʹgon and the palms of both his hands were cut off and were lying on the threshold. Only the fish part had been left intact. 5 That is why to this day, the priests of Daʹgon and all those who enter the house of Daʹgon do not walk on the threshold of Daʹgon in Ashʹdod.” 1 Samuel 5:1-5

[Saffron]

There was one sister who sent me a scripture by text the other day. The message said: "Well... this is in the bible." (Ezekiel 23:20) 

 

We laughed way harder than we should have. 🤣🤣🤣 Shame on us!

 

 

 

 

 

[Gimestr]

17 minutes ago, Saffron said:

The message said: "Well... this is in the bible." (Ezekiel 23:20) 

LOL.  

[Leon J]

8 hours ago, Brother Jack said:

One is found at Acts 19:13-16. It says:

 

I laugh every time I read the demon saying “I know Jesus and I am acquainted with Paul; but who are you” before leaping on the men.

 

 

This is probably the most ominous and horrific thing that happened to "random" people in the bible. They thought they were tooling along doing good, boom proved false.

[Gimestr]

25 minutes ago, Leon J said:

This is probably the most ominous and horrific thing that happened to "random" people in the bible. They thought they were tooling along doing good, boom proved false.

I always took it as if they were false prophets using Jesus name for their own benefit.

 

9 hours ago, Brother Jack said:

13 But some of the Jews who traveled around casting out demons also tried to use the name of the Lord Jesus over those who had wicked spirits; they would say: “I solemnly charge you by Jesus whom Paul preaches.

 

[Cushi]

Let’s not forget Ezekiel 4:12-15 

 

Quote

12 “You will eat it as you would a round barley loaf; you will bake it before their eyes, using dried human excrement as fuel.” 13 Jehovah went on to say: “This is how the Israelites will eat their bread—unclean—among the nations where I will disperse them.”+

14 I then said: “Not that, Sovereign Lord Jehovah! From my youth until now, I have* not been defiled by eating meat from an animal found dead or a torn animal,+ and no unclean* meat has entered my mouth.”+

15 So he said to me: “All right, I will allow you to use cattle manure instead of human excrement, and you will bake your bread over it.”

[Saffron]

Ezekiel is full of all kinds of fun things, right @Brother Jack? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Cushi]

4 hours ago, sunshine said:

Others are the donkey with more "sense" than Balaam (Num 22), Balaam is so mad biblically speaking his donkey speaking to him doesn't give him reason to pause, he actually answers the donkey!  I mean if you tried to vaccume a corner in your house and your vaccume said "Nope, not going there... " you'd at least pause a minute... say to yourself "Er...wait a  minute did my vaccume just speak to me?!"

YES! I’ve always thought he was crazy for answering the donkey.

[Cushi]

1 hour ago, Saffron said:

There was one sister who sent me a scripture by text the other day. The message said: "Well... this is in the bible." (Ezekiel 23:20) 

 

We laughed way harder than we should have. 🤣🤣🤣 Shame on us!

 

 

 

 

 

Jeremiah 5:8

 

Quote

8 They are like eager, lustful horses,

Each neighing after another man’s wife.+

 It’s even funnier in the reference Bible.

 

Edited January 22, 2019 by Brother Jack

[Cushi]

25 minutes ago, Gimestr said:

I always took it as if they were false prophets using Jesus name for their own benefit.

 

 

 Me too.

[Pjdriver]

 

Numbers 11:18-20

Jehovah will certainly give you meat, and you will eat.  19 You will eat, not one day nor 2 days nor 5 days nor 10 days nor 20 days,  20 but for a whole month of days, until it comes out of your nostrils....

[Pjdriver]

Zech 5:1,2

Again I looked up, and I saw a flying scroll.  2 He asked me: “What do you see?”I replied: “I see a flying scroll,

[Pjdriver]

 

Exodus 32:24

So I said to them, ‘Whoever has any gold must take it off and give it to me.’ Then I threw it into the fire and out came this calf.”

[Friends just call me Ross]

1 hour ago, Pjdriver said:

 

Exodus 32:24

So I said to them, ‘Whoever has any gold must take it off and give it to me.’ Then I threw it into the fire and out came this calf.”

That's his story and he's sticking to it. 

[Skye]

This Golden Calf account in Chapter 32 is a funny one indeed. No one wanted to own these rebellious people.

Jehovah: (vs 7) : “Go, descend, because your people, whom you led up out of the land of Egypt, have corrupted themselves.

Moses: (vs 11) ...”Why, O Jehovah, should you turn your burning anger against your people after bringing them out of the land of Egypt with great power and with a mighty hand?”