Male Pattern Baldness: How are you dealing with it?

[Cushi]

I want to talk about something that affects a lot of men, including some of us in the truth... and that’s male pattern baldness. Are you currently going bald? Have you accepted it? What are/were some of your challenges? 

 

I’ll share a little story with you:

I never thought I’d see the day when I would lose my hair. I almost always wore my hair in a short fade. I had really thick hair. When I was 17 my dad teased me and said I would go bald because he lost his hair at 26 and his dad lost his hair at 24. I told him this system wouldn’t last that long lol. 

Shortly before I turned 22, I decided to grow an Afro. I wanted to see what my hair was really like and absolutely loved my hair. I had the perfect hair for an afro. It was thick, tightly coiled and grew up and out. It was similar to Jermaine Jackson’s type of hair when he sported an Afro.

it wasn’t long before I noticed that my hairline was crooked. I wasn’t sure if it was always like that or if I was just going crazy. Sometime later my hair started getting thin and receeding. It most likely was already thinning by the time I grew a fro. I was loosing my hair at 22! I refused to sport the George Costanza so I got some clippers and a razor and shaved it all off. 

Although I had wore my hair short most of my life, I had no idea of how I would look. I was nervous about cutting my hair. I was thinking if I looked bad it would affect my self esteem and have the potential to affect my social and love life lol. 

I was so scared to see myself bald that I didn’t shave my head in front of a mirror.

when I was done I looked in the mirror and felt relief. I no longer cared about loosing my hair, but instead took pride in my new look.

 

Today I’ve been bald for 10 years and love it. I do miss having hair sometimes and would like to have thye option to enjoy having hair from time to time. If we are allowed to shave our heads in the new world I would occasionally shave it even then. That’s how much I love being bald. If you’re going bald my advise to you is “When it’s time to let it go... LET IT GO!” 

 

Here’s some pics of me with hair and one after I shaved. I edited the shaved head pic because my shirt was off. I was going to the pool...

 

 

 

Edited April 7, 2019 by Brother Jack

[Qapla]

My story is "funny" in the other direction.

 

I used to have a "traditional businessman's haircut". Not long, but not "short" either. About 20-25 years ago I developed a large thinning area near the top of my head. I was losing my hair rather quickly, it seamed. I had also began to develop other issues with my hair - somewhat work related - and asked what I could do about it. I was told by several people in the hair business I should "cut it all off and start over".

 

SO, I did. 

 

I didn't shave my head, just cut my hair to about ¼ - ½ inch long all over.

 

I have worn it that way ever since.

 

Funny thing is, the bald area  on the top of my head began filling back in and I still have not gone bald   

 

As far as to my concerns about it ... I never cared if I went bald. I figured, if it all fell out, that's one less thing I would have to worry about taking care of. Since it grew back in, I still have to cut it. Of course, I do that myself since I do not need it shaped or styled - it is the same length all over.

 

Actually, I've never really understood why so many men are so terrified of going bald. Why it should affect their self-esteem or ability to function. I guess I just never put that much import on my hair - and I still don't.

 

Now, I am not going to start shaving my head - not because I would look totally bald ... I don't want to have to do that much work. When it finally disappears - so be it. Until then, when I can't comb it with a washcloth, I will just cut it again.

Edited April 7, 2019 by Qapla

[EccentricM]

Suits you

 

Don't know if I'd ever get it, as my dad has very long and thick hair to this day and he's in his 50s now. But if I did, I'd go bald myself I think, rather than having patchy hair. Also bald with a beard can be a good look. 😄

[Cushi]

8 hours ago, Qapla said:

My story is "funny" in the other direction.

 

I used to have a "traditional businessman's haircut". Not long, but not "short" either. About 20-25 years ago I developed a large thinning area near the top of my head. I was losing my hair rather quickly, it seamed. I had also began to develop other issues with my hair - somewhat work related - and asked what I could do about it. I was told by several people in the hair business I should "cut it all off and start over".

 

SO, I did. 

 

I didn't shave my head, just cut my hair to about ¼ - ½ inch long all over.

 

I have worn it that way ever since.

 

Funny thing is, the bald area  on the top of my head began filling back in and I still have not gone bald   

 

As far as to my concerns about it ... I never cared if I went bald. I figured, if it all fell out, that's one less thing I would have to worry about taking care of. Since it grew back in, I still have to cut it. Of course, I do that myself since I do not need it shaped or styled - it is the same length all over.

 

Actually, I've never really understood why so many men are so terrified of going bald. Why it should affect their self-esteem or ability to function. I guess I just never put that much import on my hair - and I still don't.

 

Now, I am not going to start shaving my head - not because I would look totally bald ... I don't want to have to do that much work. When it finally disappears - so be it. Until then, when I can't comb it with a washcloth, I will just cut it again.

You are fortunate. I think most men fear going bald because they are afraid of how they will look bald. I would think that most men never shave their heads bald until they lose their hair so they have no clue how they will look. I always wanted to shave my head bald at least once but kept throwing it off until I actually lost my hair. If I would have done it and saw how I looked bald before I actually started to lose my hair, I wouldn’t have minded it so much when I lost my hair. I was afraid I was going to look stupid for the rest of my life. I feel sorry for the guys that go bald and have weird shaped heads. There’s nothing they can do. 

[Cushi]

29 minutes ago, EccentricM said:

Suits you

 

Don't know if I'd ever get it, as my dad has very long and thick hair to this day and he's in his 50s now. But if I did, I'd go bald myself I think, rather than having patchy hair. Also bald with a beard can be a good look. 😄

Thanks. I wouldn’t be too worried if your dad doesn’t have male pattern baldness. I never believed what they say about it coming from your moms side of the family. I’ve always thought it came from your fathers side because, if you’ll notice, men who go bald with hair on the sides tend to have round or oval shaped heads like mine. Men with more square shaped heads like Tom Cruise tend to get a bald spot on the top/crown of their heads, with a hairline still in tact. 

Yes, having a beard and a shaved head looks good. This guy really pulls it off. He has a Channel on YouTube called Baldcafe where he discusses male pattern baldness. He probably has the best shaped head I’d ever seen. I haven’t watched too many of his videos so I don’t know if he curses or not. I prefer a shaved head with a goatee. That was the style I had when I was inactive. I think not having one makes me look plain.

[EccentricM]

3 minutes ago, Brother Jack said:

I never believed what they say about it coming from your moms side of the family.

Oh is that what they say? Well, not on my mom's side either!

[Cushi]

This guy really pulls off the bald head/goatee look. Why walk around looking like an idiot when you can shave it and look cool?

 

 

[Cushi]

4 minutes ago, EccentricM said:

Oh is that what they say? Well, not on my mom's side either!

Yep. My grandfather on my mom’s side was 85 when he died and he had all his hair. My mom’s brother is in his mid 50’s and he has all his hair as well. Meanwhile me, my dad and my dad’s father all looked like baby birds by the time we were 26 

[Qapla]

A friend of mine in Jacksonville already had a bald spot starting when I met him - he was 17 at the time. He now has the fringe around the sides ... it is the exact same pattern his Dad had.

 

He has a 22 year old son who already has a nice "thin spot" on the top of his head. He fully expects to be bald before he is 30 and it doesn't bother him.

[Cushi]

13 minutes ago, Qapla said:

A friend of mine in Jacksonville already had a bald spot starting when I met him - he was 17 at the time. He now has the fringe around the sides ... it is the exact same pattern his Dad had.

 

He has a 22 year old son who already has a nice "thin spot" on the top of his head. He fully expects to be bald before he is 30 and it doesn't bother him.

Just like me, my dad and my grandfather. That’s got to be terrible to lose your hair when you are still in highshool. There’s so many hairstyles you haven’t tried yet lol. I accepted the fact that I was balding rather quickly because I shaved it right when I was sure I was going bald. It was disappointing at first though because I was just starting to really enjoy my hair. Plus, I didn’t like the idea of looking the same for the rest of your life in this system at first.

Edited April 7, 2019 by Brother Jack

[Cushi]

Here are 10 pros of having a shaved head due to hair loss. The cons are obvious.

 

1. It’s a whole lot cheaper. I only spend $1.00 a month on razors. You can buy safety razors in bulk for a whole lot cheaper than that. If you just use clippers or an electric trimmer it’s free. You don’t have to spend money on shampoo or conditioner.

 

2. It takes less time to get ready, unless it’s the day you shave. And even that shouldn’t take long.

 

3. You look the same everyday if you shave often, so there’s no such thing as a “bad hair day”.

 

4. It gives you a whole different type of confidence. I’m sure those who have shaved their heads know what I’m talking about. 

 

5. You save a lot of time not having to wait at the barber shop.

 

6. Wearing a hat doesn’t mess up your hair. Having a bald head is predictable.

 

7. It’s a natural air conditioner lol. You don’t tend to get as hot during the summer time without all that hair on your head. 

 

8. Because men will always lose their hair, a shaved head will never go out of style. 

 

9. It looks cool. Especially if you have a muscular physique to go with it.

 

10. Lots of women LOVE IT. Women at my old jobs used to love to rub my head and sweet talk to me when I was inactive, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love every minute of it. Women love confidence in a man. Men with shaved heads appear more confident and “alpha male” to a lot of women. Plus when you think about it, there’s something cool about a person not having any hair on their head and still looking attractive. That’s special.

[Cushi]

Whatever you do, don’t be like this guy... when it’s time to let it go... LET IT GO!

 

 

[pnutts]

I am losing my hair too 🤯

Got a small area that is quite thin.

 

Several brothers have shaved their head in my area & my wife wanted me to do so also.

 

I said no I don't want the

 

Spoiler

Elisha look 👀  (2 Kings 2:23) . . .Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!. . .

 

[Cushi]

13 minutes ago, pnutts said:

I am losing my hair too 🤯

Got a small area that is quite thin.

 

Several brothers have shaved their head in my area & my wife wanted me to do so also.

 

I said no I don't want the

 

  Hide contents

Elisha look 👀  (2 Kings 2:23) . . .Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!. . .

 

LOL! Bro just shave it. You’ll be happy you did. It’s liberating 

[Cushi]

1 hour ago, pnutts said:

I am losing my hair too 🤯

Got a small area that is quite thin.

 

Several brothers have shaved their head in my area &  my wife wanted me to do so also.

At least you know your wife will support your new look if you decide to go bald. There’s lots of men who who can’t wear their hair in certain styles because their wives “won’t let them.” There’s a brother in my hall with head full of hair but also has a nice head shape. He said he wants to shave it bald but his wife won’t let him. I could never understand trying to prohibit ones mate from wearing a certain hairstyle. It’s my head. Maybe I feel this way because I’m single. 

I think the most attractive thing a woman could have about herself is a nice set of dreadlocks. If I were married I would try to talk my wife into getting this style but if she wants to wear her hair in a way I don’t like, I would let her if it makes her happy, after unsuccessfully trying to talk her out of it. It’s her head not mine.

[Cushi]

 

[Pjdriver]

On 4/7/2019 at 12:02 AM, Brother Jack said:

Are you currently going bald? Have you accepted it? What are/were some of your challenges? 

My hair has been gradually receding for a while. At some point I’d like to let it go and shave it clean. It wouldn’t bother me to shave it all now, but my wife won’t let me .

I know a brother with just a few tufts... or more like whisp of hair on his head. Not looking so great...but for some reason he won’t let it go. 

 

IMO, black men in general seem to look better with shaved heads. Jack, I’m jealous. You look good and you don’t get bed-head or hat-head. If I wear a hat and when I wake up in the morning, it looks like I combed my hair with an egg beater.  

Edited April 8, 2019 by Pjdriver

[pnutts]

9 minutes ago, Pjdriver said:

If I wear a hat and when I wake up in the morning, it looks like I combed my hair with an egg beater.  

At 1st I though you said you wore a hat to bed - it can be construed as such.

[Cushi]

4 hours ago, Pjdriver said:

My hair has been gradually receding for a while. At some point I’d like to let it go and shave it clean. It wouldn’t bother me to shave it all now, but my wife won’t let me .

I know a brother with just a few tufts... or more like whisp of hair on his head. Not looking so great...but for some reason he won’t let it go. 

 

IMO, black men in general seem to look better with shaved heads. Jack, I’m jealous. You look good and you don’t get bed-head or hat-head. If I wear a hat and when I wake up in the morning, it looks like I combed my hair with an egg beater.  

You look like you have a nice head shape for the clean shaven look. If your hair still looks like the way it does in your profile pic, I wouldn’t worry about it. At your age you’re probably not going to end up with just hair on the sides. Men who wind up looking that way lose their hair a lot younger. Yes, there’s an elder in my congregation that is loosing his hair pretty badly and even has a slight comb over. He finally shaved it and he looked so good. He didn’t even have a hair shadow. It really looked good on him. He rocked the bald look for a month or two and then grew his “hair” back. I was like why?! 

 

Yes, I’ve heard white men tell me that black men tend to look good bald. I think it has to do with the fact that black men tend to have round/oval heads. I think it also has to do with skin tone and the fact that pigmentation problems don’t show up on the scalp so much in darker skinned men. I have seen plenty of white men who look great bald. Thanks. I know all about bed head though. When I had my fro I would wake up with my hair all lopsided and stuck to one side of my face. I had to get a hot wet towel and soften my hair before I could pick it back out or else I would break the teeth on my pick. lol egg beater. 

Edited April 8, 2019 by Brother Jack

[Pjdriver]

18 hours ago, Brother Jack said:

At your age you’re probably not going to end up with just hair on the sides

I hope not, but it is gradually receding.

That pic is about 10 years old and it’s receded some more. No comb-over for me. Maybe I’ll get a toupee.....jk, never happen. I’m not overly concerned about it because I wouldn’t mind the clean shave. One year a while back I decided to cut it down to about a 1/8 of an inch. I loved the feel and the less maintenance. My wife didn’t like it. She said I look like a thug. Lol

It’s like Paul said: ‘the married man has to worry about pleasing his wife’. 

 

Stay single if you can 

[Cushi]

THE 5 STAGES OF GRIEF DUE TO HAIR LOSS.

 

Most men, or women for that matter, who have lost their hair can relate to this. These are the 5 stages of grief that you go through when you lose your hair.

 

DENIAL - “No, I’m not losing my hair. It’s just thin and falling out due to stress. After all, I’m too young to lose my hair.” Sound familiar? Denial is the first stage in hair loss grief but it usually doesn’t last that long.

 

BARGAINING  - “I’ll do anything to get my hair back!”  In a desperate attempt to control the situation, you start trying to negotiate or make deals with God or anyone else who can offer a solution. At this point you’re willing to spend a considerable amount of money to “fix” your problem. You start researching shampoos, natural treatments, surgery and medications. I personally didn’t go through this stage, but a lot who lose their hair do.

 

ANGER - “This is not fair! My brother has all of his hair! Why did this have to happen to me?” At this point you are ticked off. I think you guys know the other word I want to use. Once you realize you are losing your hair and there’s no cure, some very unchristian words my fly out of your mouth.

 

DEPRESSION - After getting over the anger, you move on to the next stage. At this point you’re one sad puppy. You start to realize how much your hair meant to you and now that it’s falling out you are sad. Men who have a great head of hair, like to wear their hair long or have weird shaped heads go through this stage pretty hard. Especially those with weird shaped heads. The period of time when I notice my hair was falling out to when I shaved it was so short that I really didn’t have time to go through this stage.

 

ACCEPTANCE - You realize that it’s not the end of the world. Things could be far worse like some kind of health scare. You realize that millions of other men and women are going through this and you’re not alone. It’s not the end of the world. Plus, if you are in the truth, you know that you will get your hair back in the new world. Anointed ones will have a far more glorious body in the heavens. Being in the truth really helped me accept it. I think the prospect of not ever getting my hair back would bother me if I were in the world. 

For those with great shaped heads, it goes beyond acceptance to pure unparalleled confidence. I’m actually more confident as a bald man than I was when I had hair. 

 

It’s not the end of the world. Embrace your new bald look and start a new chapter in your life 😁

 

 

 

[Qapla]

I guess I just skipped straight to Acceptance - since it never bothered me.

 

But then, mine didn't all go away and my wife doesn't care if I wear mine short

[Cushi]

44 minutes ago, Qapla said:

I guess I just skipped straight to Acceptance - since it never bothered me.

 

But then, mine didn't all go away and my wife doesn't care if I wear mine short

My stages were anger, anxiety (not on the list) and acceptance.

 

I don’t remember being in denial because although I didn’t think I would lose my hair so young, my dad and his dad lost their hair in their early and mid 20’s so I wasn’t really surprised and didn’t try to come up with excuses as to why my hairline was receding. 

I was angry because my hair had become such a major part of my identity and self expression and now I was losing it. 

Then I was anxious because I had no idea of how I would look bald, but once I shaved it and saw how I looked, I accepted it.

Edited April 9, 2019 by Brother Jack

[Tortuga]

I had to get a haircut today, I was starting to look like Fabio again.... <sigh>

Edited April 9, 2019 by Tortuga

[Pjdriver]

20 minutes ago, Tortuga said:

I had to get a haircut today, I was starting to look like Fabio again.... <sigh>

Those with full heads of hair are not allowed to gloat.