A good joke

[Old]

[dilip kumar]

Always Rejoice...

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[Loopy]

OUCH!!!!!!
 

It’s already sent.....Sunday.... 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

 

 

[➕👇 ꓤꓱꓷꓠꓵ🎵Tone]

I like this one:

Edited September 1, 2020 by Maʹher-shalʹal-hash-baz

[Qapla]

"All across the map" would have been a better way for "them" to say that ...eh?

[Katty]

BEHOLD!!! THE FUNNIEST JOKE IN THE WORLD!!!

....according to research conducted by some guy in Herfordshire...

Quote

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"

I wonder if this is a video of it's humble beginnings....

Spoiler

 

 

[1gemstone]

On 9/1/2020 at 2:38 PM, Loopy said:

OUCH!!!!!!
 

It’s already sent.....Sunday.... 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

 

 

There's 31 days in August, are you taking a day off?

[Loopy]

OOPS!, Guess it went into September 

[dilip kumar]

Always Rejoice...

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Now I understand why we are without our beards.

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[jayrtom]

On 9/1/2020 at 5:52 PM, dilip kumar said:

Always Rejoice...

Sent from my SM-A315F using Tapatalk
 

I was just preparing to send this to my service group...

But then I calmed down

[jayrtom]

I Like cats and I like Schrodinger 

 

[jayrtom]

[jayrtom]

[jayrtom]

[Tortuga]

A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says "I'll have five beers"..

[bohemian]

A bossy so-and-so goes into a bar.

He orders everyone a round.

[bohemian]

[kejedo]

On 9/3/2020 at 4:49 PM, jayrtom said:

I Like cats and I like Schrodinger 

 

I have bouts of sleep paralysis, mostly when attempting to wake up and get up. Its features are: inability to move; feeling of pressure; intense fear, hallucinations. I only experience two types of hallucinations. i) that I am in the bathroom. I never act on/during this dream state, because when I really am in the bathroom, I have a routine to make myself assured that I am awake, including putting my feet on the floor and looking around at memorized objects.  ii)that I am Schrodinger's cat. I can not awaken myself from a sleep paralysis event, but a noise from outside of myself (alarm clock,telephone) will fully awaken me. 

[Old]

This is true. We were having an around the dinner table conversation about movies made from Shakespears plays when my wife's college educated very blond neice, with straight face, pops up with "I really liked Man From La Mancha."

Silence reigned.

[jayrtom]

18 hours ago, kejedo said:

I have bouts of sleep paralysis, mostly when attempting to wake up and get up. Its features are: inability to move; feeling of pressure; intense fear, hallucinations. I only experience two types of hallucinations. i) that I am in the bathroom. I never act on/during this dream state, because when I really am in the bathroom, I have a routine to make myself assured that I am awake, including putting my feet on the floor and looking around at memorized objects.  ii)that I am Schrodinger's cat. I can not awaken myself from a sleep paralysis event, but a noise from outside of myself (alarm clock,telephone) will fully awaken me. 

I don't know if I should laugh or sadden...   😞

 

 

[jayrtom]

14 hours ago, Old said:

This is true. We were having an around the dinner table conversation about movies made from Shakespears plays when my wife's college educated very blond neice, with straight face, pops up with "I really liked Man From La Mancha."

Silence reigned.

Now, that was a stain* 

 

*"Mancha" in Castellano#

 

#"Spanish" in English

 

Edited September 17, 2020 by jayrtom

[bohemian]

Everyone at John Lennon International Airport has been quarantined.

Imagine...all the people...

[Sheep]

On 9/20/2020 at 7:22 AM, bohemian said:

Everyone at John Lennon International Airport has been quarantined.

Imagine...all the people...

Yeah. And the motto of that airport is: "Above us, only sky."

 

That may be okay for an airport. But the intent of the song was to promote a religionless world, where there's no God and only sky above. It was a pretty song with some personal ideals of Mr. Lennon. Too bad he had to mess it up with his worldly thinking.

 

I guess this doesn't really belong in the Joke topic, does it?

 

Edited September 21, 2020 by Sheep

[Tortuga]

1 hour ago, Sheep said:

It was a pretty song with some personal ideals of Mr. Lennon. Too bad he had to mess it up with his worldly thinking.

 

I guess this doesn't really belong in the Joke topic, does it?

Hopefully he will realize the jokes on him and have a good laugh about it when he is resurrected.

[Qapla]

A Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other, and finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato, which they called 'Yam'.
Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.
When it was time, they told her about the facts of life.
They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato,' and end up with a bunch of Tater Tots.
Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her!
But on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either.
She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her Shoestring Cousins.
When she went off to Europe, Mr. and Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland .
And the greasy guys from France called the French Fries.
And when she went out West, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get scalloped.
Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn't associate with those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that say, 'Frito Lay.'
Mr. and Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that's Potato University ) so that when she graduated she'd really be in the Chips.
But in spite of all they did for her, one-day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw.
Tom Brokaw!
Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset.
They told Yam she couldn't possibly marry Tom Brokaw
Because he's just......

Spoiler

A COMMONTATER

 

 

 

What did baby Yoda say when he saw himself in 4k?

Spoiler

HDMI

 

Edited September 22, 2020 by Qapla