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My spiritual routine is… sorely lacking order…
My list of personal study projects only keeps growing, and it seems I cannot finish even one. I am absolutely terrible at study. My brain just doesn’t seem to “go off,” but at the same time, nothing ever gets accomplished 😵💫
Like now—I found a JW-friendly app (Personal Bible Trainer). I chose to read the Bible from scratch, both the Old and New Testament, and it gives a challenge, goal, or thought to focus on with the chapters (or part of a chapter) you’re reading. I also decided to highlight my Bible while I’m at it so I know for sure I read the chapters. Then I remembered I had started writing down the characters mentioned, so I don’t forget who was in the chapter, when, where, and in what order. And then there’s the daily text and weekly meeting study… it’s just all horror!
Just from this, you can probably see my mind is absolute chaos 🤯 My brain feels like a bag filled with water—but full of holes.
I’ve cut back on work due to my health slowly deteriorating. Now I’m only working 2 days a week instead of 4. I stopped going out in field service and have been asking others not to invite me because I keep having to cancel last minute due to my mystery illness/condition.
Now I really need ideas that might help plug these holes—so I can actually retain information and build a study routine that works for me. I can’t even remember how I was able to handle so many subjects back in my school days 😮💨
I know most brothers and sisters have families, strong spiritual routines, and goals that help them stay focused on spreading the good news of the Kingdom. Being in the truth by myself, I’m doing everything solo. And over the years—with moving to an actual home, changing congregations, and now my health failing at this age… anything I once had in mind spiritually (like learning a new language, LDC, or working on projects like Ramapo) is gone, and my zeal has almost fizzled out.
I had some shepherding calls after isolating myself for so long and not attending meetings for a few months. The elders reminded me that there are people who care about me, even when life gets in the way—and that isolation won’t help. And they’re right… it doesn’t.
The only thing that kept me going—then and even now—are Jesus’ words and Peter’s response after many stopped following him:
“So Jesus said to the Twelve: ‘You do not want to go also, do you?’ Simon Peter answered him: ‘Lord, whom shall we go away to? You have sayings of everlasting life. We have believed and have come to know that you are the Holy One of God.’” — John 6:67–69
Right now, I’m just trying to focus on getting my mind back into studying properly and maybe having a good comment at the meetings again.
Any advice you may have that could help—I would really appreciate it. Otherwise, please just keep me in your prayers. 🙏🏼
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Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. Many of us have made ambitious goals and then got discouraged when we didn't reach them.
Here is something to consider. Pick one of the student talks on the MWM and develop it as if you were assigned to give it. It's not an overwhelming project. Try developing the last student assignment that is based on an article, that's always fun to do.
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