A good joke

[bohemian]

What do you call a rapid moving walkway?

An escasooner.

[Sheep]

11 hours ago, bohemian said:

What do you call a rapid moving walkway?

An escasooner.

[GodlyDevotion]

 

Three pioneers are home together. 
They all are very hungry but there is nothing else left but one boiled egg. 
One of the pioneers comes up with something and says: whoever can think of the most beautiful scripture may eat the egg. 
The other 2 agree. Then the first pioneer starts by taking the egg, tries to make it stand and says: "whoever thinks he is standing, beware that he does not fall. " 1 Cor. 10:12.
They all have a good laugh. 

The second pioneer says: I know a better one. 
He took the egg, peeled it and said: "we have to strip off the old personality with its practices and put on the new personality." Col 3:10.
Again they had a good laugh. 

The third pioneer picks up the egg, puts it in his mouth and says: "My servants will eat, but you will go hungry"
Isaiah 65:10.
😁😁😁

[dilip kumar]

How to bet...

[dilip kumar]

A woman takes her husband to get tested

Two days later, she gets a call from the lab.

Doctor: I'm sorry to inform you that your husband's test results were mixed up with another patient's. We're not sure if he has COVID-19 or Alzheimer's disease.

Woman: So what am I supposed to do now?

Doctor: Take him for a long walk and leave him. If he finds his way back home,
don't open the door.

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[Chris7]

[dilip kumar]

Life's like that

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[bohemian]

[Old]

 

IMG_3582.JPG

 

 

Sent from my iPad

[bohemian]

[Musky]

Chris, That is classic! 

[Golfguy74]

funny

Edited October 11, 2020 by Golfguy74

[bohemian]

Anyone interested in a free ride in a helicopter for 4 people? Im still looking for two people to joins us. We leave early Saturday (Oct 24) from Kidlington nr Oxford then fly to Poole Dorset where will have breakfast. Then onto a yacht for mornings sailing then have lunch. Then a flight to Jersey for afternoon tea and return to Poole for dinner. Finally back home to Kidlington.

 

So anyone interested please pm me. Preferably someone with a helicopter and a yacht.

 

[jayrtom]

On 9/21/2020 at 6:34 PM, Tortuga said:

Hopefully he will realize the jokes on him and have a good laugh about it when he is resurrected.

But that is from the Beegees, not John Lennon

 

On 9/26/2020 at 7:56 PM, dilip kumar said:

How to bet...

It was hard to read with my head horizontal... But it was worth the trouble

 

[Nelly Kim]

2 hours ago, bohemian said:

Anyone interested in a free ride in a helicopter for 4 people? Im still looking for two people to joins us. We leave early Saturday (Oct 24) from Kidlington nr Oxford then fly to Poole Dorset where will have breakfast. Then onto a yacht for mornings sailing then have lunch. Then a flight to Jersey for afternoon tea and return to Poole for dinner. Finally back home to Kidlington.

 

So anyone interested please pm me. Preferably someone with a helicopter and a yacht.

 

How is that a free ride... ( Laughing) That's really Smart... 

[kejedo]

3 hours ago, bohemian said:

Preferably someone with a helicopter and a yacht.

 

I flew a small engine airplane last year, but it's not mine. Have a good, safe trip.

[Sheep]

5 hours ago, bohemian said:

Anyone interested in a free ride in a helicopter for 4 people? Im still looking for two people to joins us. We leave early Saturday (Oct 24) from Kidlington nr Oxford then fly to Poole Dorset where will have breakfast. Then onto a yacht for mornings sailing then have lunch. Then a flight to Jersey for afternoon tea and return to Poole for dinner. Finally back home to Kidlington.

 

So anyone interested please pm me. Preferably someone with a helicopter and a yacht.

Hey, Chris! That would be cool, I must admit. Well, I have a helicopter and a yacht. But unfortunately...

 

The helicopter won't fly that far. (From Montreal to the UK! Seriously?) And even if I set out now, my yacht probably wouldn't get there in time for October 24. Sorry.

 

So I'll have to see if I can make it at a another time. Just give me more advance notice.

[bohemian]

1 minute ago, Sheep said:

Hey, Chris! That would be cool, I must admit. Well, I have a helicopter and a yacht. But unfortunately...

 

The helicopter won't fly that far. (From Montreal to the UK! Seriously?) And even if I set out now, my yacht probably wouldn't get there in time for October 24. Sorry.

 

So I'll have to see if I can make it at a another time. Just give me more advance notice.

will do!

[Tortuga]

29 minutes ago, Sheep said:

Just give me more advance notice.

How long does it take to take them out of your bathtub? 😁

[jayrtom]

On 9/25/2020 at 11:55 AM, GodlyDevotion said:

 

Three pioneers are home together. 
They all are very hungry but there is nothing else left but one boiled egg. 
One of the pioneers comes up with something and says: whoever can think of the most beautiful scripture may eat the egg. 
The other 2 agree. Then the first pioneer starts by taking the egg, tries to make it stand and says: "whoever thinks he is standing, beware that he does not fall. " 1 Cor. 10:12.
They all have a good laugh. 

The second pioneer says: I know a better one. 
He took the egg, peeled it and said: "we have to strip off the old personality with its practices and put on the new personality." Col 3:10.
Again they had a good laugh. 

The third pioneer picks up the egg, puts it in his mouth and says: "My servants will eat, but you will go hungry"
Isaiah 65:10.
😁😁😁

That would be Is 65:13a, I just noticed

 

[bohemian]

[bohemian]

Here’s one for the Brits with “track and trace”:

 

[rocket]

Lots of winners on that one. 😄

[Qapla]

 couple years ago my wife and I planned a small train trip and vacation. We bought brand new luggage.

 

We had to cancel last year due to a hurricane and again this year due to COVID - we still have not had the opportunity to use our new luggage.

 

I tried to explain this to the suitcases that are just siting there all sad and found myself having to deal with "emotional baggage"

[Golfguy74]