A good joke

[Sheep]

8 hours ago, bohemian said:

I'm upset!

Someone has removed the month after next from all my calendars.

I’m really dismayed.

 

(How come there's no thumbs-down button in the reactions?)

[Lee49]

12 hours ago, bohemian said:

I’m really dismayed.

[pnutts]

What is the tragedy of ...?

Reminds me of this joke I read somewhere that I just googled and copied  ( name has been removed to keep it sorta neutral )

---

During one of his campaign trips D... is visiting an elementary school and goes into one of the classes. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asks Mr. T... if he would like to lead the discussion of the word “Tragedy.” So he asks the class for an example of a tragedy.

One little boy stands up and offers: “If my best friend who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy.”

“No,” says Mr. T..., “that would be an accident.”

A little girl raises her hand: “If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.”

“I’m afraid not,” explains the exalted businessman. “That’s what we would call a great loss.”

The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. Mr. T... searches the room.

“Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”

Finally at the back of the room, a boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: “If a private jet carrying you was struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.”

“Fantastic!” exclaims Mr. T..., “That’s absolutely right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?”

“Well,” says the boy, “because it wouldn’t be a great loss and it probably wouldn’t be an accident either.”

 

😝

[rocket]

Anyone see the humor/joke in this quote from a news article.

Quote

“Again, it's puzzling to me,” said Fauci. “I mean, clearly Operation Warp Speed started in the Trump administration. It was very successful in getting us the vaccines we have right now. It seems like an intrinsic contradiction. That fact that you had a program that was started during his pregnancy, and he's not out telling people to get vaccinated. I wish he would. He has such an incredible influence over the people in the Republican party. It would really be a game changer if he did.”

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/dr-fauci-just-sent-this-urgent-message-to-donald-trump/ar-BB1ezNfU?li=BBnb7Kz

 

Where's the MSN proof readers??? 😂

Edit:

Checked article 6 hours later and the mistake was corrected. Neutrality prevents me from commenting further ! 😅  Now If I could just get that mental image out of my head. 😂

Edited March 15, 2021 by rocket

[Tortuga]

1 hour ago, rocket said:

Anyone see the humor/joke in this quote from a news article.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/dr-fauci-just-sent-this-urgent-message-to-donald-trump/ar-BB1ezNfU?li=BBnb7Kz

 

Where's the MSN proof readers??? 😂

Apparently they are tired of reading about Trump...🤣

[bohemian]

Two monkeys were going to have a bath.  One monkey got in the water and said: “ ooh oo ooh, ah, ah,aah”.

The other one said: “Well, put some cold in then!”

[Tortuga]

On 3/16/2021 at 4:02 PM, bohemian said:

Two monkeys were going to have a bath.  One monkey got in the water and said: “ ooh oo ooh, ah, ah,aah”.

The other one said: “Well, put some cold in then!”

"Ooh oo ooh ah ah aah" actually means "This feels nice" according to Jane Goodall, unless the monkey had used an inflection and said "oh ooh ah oh ahh" which means "This is too hot"

 

It sounds like a simple misunderstanding and I'd  offer to help but I don't want to get involved in monkey business....😂

 

Edited March 17, 2021 by Tortuga

[bohemian]

I think I've finally conquered my obsession with trees - but my shrink says I'm not out of the woods yet...

[Loopy]

38 minutes ago, bohemian said:

I think I've finally conquered my obsession with trees - but my shrink says I'm not out of the woods yet...

***groan*****

 

[Old]

From aproject managers point of view I that this to be worth a laugh.

 

 

[bohemian]

Adam and Eve said, “Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us”

And God said, "I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves”

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve
And it was a good animal
And God was pleased
And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve, and it wagged its tail
And Adam said, “Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom, and I cannot think of a name for this new animal”

And God said, ” I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, its name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call it DOG”

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them
And they were comforted
And God was pleased

And Dog was content and wagged its tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, “Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well...”

And God said, “I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration”

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve. And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat’s eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings

And Adam and Eve learned humility
And they were greatly improved
And God was pleased
And Dog was happy

And Cat couldn't care less either way

[Old]

Making bread for th Memorial can have it's problems.

Pay close attenion to this video. upy and paste.

 

https://www.republicworld.com/world-news/rest-of-the-world-news/video-of-failed-baking-attempt-leaves-netizens-in-splits.html

 

 

[suitej]

From aproject managers point of view I that this to be worth a laugh.
 
 

There's a lot of truth in this!

Sent from my mobile.

[Tortuga]

My morning scripture:

"so that you may not get tired and give up." Hebrews 12:3 should be He Brews 1,2,3...🤣

Edited March 27, 2021 by Tortuga

[bear_about]

Not sure if my sister knows any geography.

 

But Alaska.

[pnutts]

Have a neighbor in the building that thinks they are Jesus performing his 1st miracle.

Spoiler

Every time they shower they turn water into a whine! 🤐

 

[bohemian]

Daley Thompson, Tessa Sanderson and Steve Cram are all round Seb Coe's house for tea (that's dinner for you southern types). 

Daley brought the fish, Tessa the chips, Steve the mushy peas with Seb providing the salt & vinegar.

Suddenly, there's a knock at the door so Seb gets up to answer.

"Who is it?" says everyone in unison.

"It's Fatima wit'bread'.

 

Edited April 25, 2021 by bohemian
merged without my permission

[Doug]

I asked my granddaughter to bring me the phone book.

She said "Honestly, grampa, you're such a dinosaur. Here, use my iPhone" . And she handed me the new phone.

I said "Okay, I guess" .

 

Long story short. .  .  .

 

 

The spider is dead.

The iPhone is broken.

And my granddaughter isn't speaking to me.

[daydream]

 

Sorry, made a mistake

Edited May 1, 2021 by Mclove

[Qapla]

I mever nake mi55taks

 

 

[Sheep]

16 hours ago, Qapla said:

I mever nake mi55taks

Yaah, Iv'e noteissed.

[Tortuga]

I just received Breaking News from a brother that knows a brother that knows someone at WHQ.

 

The official word is that if Armageddon doesn't come tomorrow, then it will come after tomorrow!

 

Be the first to share the Breaking News with your friends!

[Qapla]

Just thought I should share this .... It is "brand new"

 

4 hours ago, Tortuga said:

I just received Breaking News from a brother that knows a brother that knows someone at WHQ.

 

The official word is that if Armageddon doesn't come tomorrow, then it will come after tomorrow!

 

Be the first to share the Breaking News with your friends!

 

 

 

(was I first?)

Edited May 11, 2021 by Qapla

[bohemian]

[jayrtom]

Stop chasing Bill Posters!

 

Who's church is this?