A good joke

[Tortuga]

[pnutts]

Food for thought or frought.

[Friends just call me Ross]

What's the difference between 2-wheel drive and 4-wheel drive?

 

Spoiler

4-wheel drive allows you to get stuck in places you'd never even dream of going with 2-wheel drive.  👍😊

 

[Tortuga]

 

Was Noah the first cruise director?

[New World Explorer]

24 minutes ago, Tortuga said:

 

Was Noah the first cruise director?

 

[Pabo]

[Tortuga]

I didn't realize how slanted the news agencies are until i saw a report about Jesus walking on water. The headline read: "Jesus Can't Swim!"

[Qapla]

[Lee49]

1 hour ago, Tortuga said:

"Jesus Can't Swim!"

No, but he sure can fly !!!

 

[kejedo]

On 5/18/2022 at 8:41 PM, Qapla said:

John, I didn't recognize you with a beard. Someone should start a topic on that. 

[Sheep]

54 minutes ago, kejedo said:

John, I didn't recognize you with a beard. Someone should start a topic on that. 

 

Nah. I don't think so.

 

Edited May 20, 2022 by Sheep

[Qapla]

3 hours ago, Sheep said:

Nah. I don't think so.

[Tortuga]

[Qapla]

[Tortuga]

[Tortuga]

That was the conversation we had 44 years ago...

[Tronora]

On 5/21/2022 at 11:32 PM, Tortuga said:

[dilip kumar]

Ray and Bob, two Government maintenance guys, were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.

“We’re supposed to find the height of the flagpole”, said Bob, “But we don’t have a ladder.”

The woman said, “Hand me that wrench out of your toolbox.”

She loosened a few bolts, then laid the pole down.

She then took a tape measure from their toolbox, took a measurement and announced, “Eighteen feet, six inches” and walked away.

Ray shook his head and laughed. “Well, ain’t that just like a ‘Miss-know-it-all’ woman?” he said.

“We need the height and she gives us the length!” Ray and Bob are still working for the Government.

[Qapla]

[dilip kumar]

Wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.

Fromunder the blanket she notices four legs instead of two!

She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.

Once she’s done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.

-Hi darling, he says,

-Your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom.

Hope you said hello to them

[dilip kumar]

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says,

“Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much.

My farts never smell and are always silent.

As a matter of fact, I’ve farted at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office.

You didn’t know I was farting because they don’t smell and are silent.”

The doctor says,

“I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week.”

The next week the lady comes back.

“Doctor,” she says, “I don’t know what you gave me, but now my farts…although still silent…stink terribly.”

The doctor says,

“Good! Now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, let’s work on your hearing.”

[dilip kumar]

One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for.

The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.

She seems like she’s doing fine, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair.

Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up.

Again she seems fine, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side.

The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright.

This goes on all morning.

Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home.

“So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?” they ask.

“It’s pretty nice,” she replies.

“Except they won’t let you fart”

[Qapla]

Dilip

 

 

[dilip kumar]

Doctor and a lawyer in two cars collided on a country road.

The lawyer, seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up,

helped him from the car and offered him a drink from his hip flask.

The doctor accepted and handed the flask back to the lawyer, who closed it and put it away.

“Aren’t you going to have a drink yourself?” asked the doctor.

“Sure, after the police leave,” replied the attorney.

[Pabo]

Q/ What is Adam and Eve's least favorite word?

 

  Hide contents

A/ Insinuate

 

Q/ Who was the largest woman in the Bible?

 

  Hide contents

A/ The woman at the well. It says she was a woman of "some area" (Samaria)