Funny platform slips

[JehovahLuvs]

Do you guys have any funny slips or faux pas you heard from the platform?

 

For example we had a Brother Crowe visiting as the speaker and when my friend stepped up to invite him to give the closing prayer he said into the microphone "Brother Prayer will now Crowe"

 

Another time, a brother said "we have an army of large sisters." instead of "we have a large army of sisters." 

[Ludwika]

This is last time brother... Will be with us, that's nice! (he was getting married and moving to another cong). 

[Meditate!]

This was related to me when I was around 7yrs old by the presiding overseer.. Yes that long ago! 

 

It was an item on the old Theocratic Ministry School that a newly baptised man of around 55yrs. He was described as 'a bit rough around the edges'. He had a talk about Jericho and the march around the walled city. 

Well, to inject some enthusiasm he got more and more excited until the last sentence s blurted out.. 

 

And down came the b----y lot! 

 

He apologised profusely and skulked off the platform. 

 

It had more impact then, I can assure you! 

 

 

 

[Cherie]

As far as I know, that word has no impact here in the US. I'm not sure I even know what it means.

Edited August 20, 2019 by Cherie

[Paradise-Lover]

One of our elders who's so stuck to the 1984 edition of NWT still reads Matt 19:6 from memory instead of from the 2013 Bible in his hand. And he goes "So that they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has yoked together, let no man put asunder."

[Sylv]

During a circuit assembly: talking about pressure, likened to a water dam. I don't recall the exact application, but I'll never forget the "and then the dam wall broke" - followed by an intake of breath and tittering from the audience.

 

At the KH: a brother fairly new in the congregation had a Q&A. He obviously didn't know everyone's names yet, and paused before calling on a brother. Then he said "Brother .... I want to say Mozzarella ...". (his name was Romano, so close  )

[luisenriquereyes]

Immediately after our Watchtower study has finished, our conductor  starts praying  

 

He completely forgets about the final song.  Everyone in the hall is still sitting down and we all look at each other 

 

We all stand up and join the prayer.

 

This brother talks really slow and his prayers take a lot longer than normal. Even longer are the prayers he gives for the end of meetings.

 

After his long prayer, the platform assistant tells him that we did not sing the final song.

 

His face immediately turns super red with embarrassment 

 

At this point many in the hall are already leaving their seats and talking to each other.

 

The brother gets back to the microphone and tells everyone that he made a huge mistake

He asks everyone to get back to their seats to sing the final song.

 

After we sing the song, the brother, still red with embarrassment ,  says that we need to pray again 

 

We are like,  Ok   

 

Now for his final, final prayer, he takes about 10 times longer than the first final prayer 

Most of the time praying to Jehovah to forgive him for making "Such a stupid mistake. Don't know what happened to me." 

Our meeting went at least 15 minutes overtime ⏱️ 

But it's 15 minutes I will never forget 

 

 

 

Edited October 20, 2019 by carlos

[Tortuga]

He sounds like a good brother, I love him already. 

[JehovahLuvs]

Another experience. A friend was traveling / pioneering through the US back in the 90's and was invited at one congregation to share an experience from the platform about a study he'd started with a Jewish man.

 

As he began sharing his experience he explained that there were a few synagogues in the area. The brother asked him "So you have a lot Jews in your territory?"

 

And my friend said with an heavy Aussie accent "Yeah we have heaps!"

 

The congregation went sudden silent, he said you could have heard a pin drop and the brother interviewing him went white. He later found out they all thought he said "Yeah we have Heebs!"

Edited August 20, 2019 by JehovahLuvs

[50gumbys]

I remember years ago in Brisbane (QE2 stadium? - apologies if I get the site wrong - some things are hazy, but the information is just like yesterday)

 

A friend and I were sitting in the stands and Br Milton Henschel was giving the talk.

He really wasn't well, poor dear. You could see how frail he was.

And that may have contributed to his mistake.

 

His talk was about immortality vs immorality. 

 

And ........

He got the 2 mixed up.

1. The anointed would enjoy immorality in heaven, and

2. Unrepentant sinners would be forever immortal. 

 

We cracked up (we were in the section far away from the speaker's stand - where kids would play up...)

I DO remember people glaring at us,  because this was a Governing Body member!

But we just couldn't help ourselves!

 

I hope one of the anointed will share this with him in heaven, so they can both have a laugh.

 

[JehovahLuvs]

ha ha hilarious story

 

1 minute ago, 50gumbys said:

I DO remember people glaring at us,  because this was a Governing Body member!

But we just couldn't help ourselves!

? I have never understood bros and sis being overawed by the GB members. They're just imperfect undeserving slaves like the rest of us. When I went to Brooklyn on a Bethel tour in 1985, I met old brother Fred Franz. He asked me if I wanted my photo with him and I said no thanks! Ha ha he wasn't very impressed. 

[Tortuga]

10 minutes ago, JehovahLuvs said:

He asked me if I wanted my photo with him and I said no thanks! Ha ha he wasn't very impressed

It would have been a nice memory for you.

[JehovahLuvs]

5 minutes ago, Tortuga said:

It would have been a nice memory for you.

he was a nice man, we didn't talk much. The real highlight was the street witnessing we did in that area!

[Tortuga]

8 minutes ago, JehovahLuvs said:

he was a nice man, we didn't talk much. The real highlight was the street witnessing we did in that area!

In 1985? Cool!

[DarinS]

this past few weeks in St Croix on LDC I worked with br Payne - pretty cool brother

 

reminded me of a childhood faux paus - i was handling mics and the WT conductor called on

 

Br Payne ....in the rear....

 

i lost it and so did the other mic handler - finally just handed him the whole pole and walked off - couldn't get it back together for quite a while

 

almost as bad as the time the mic fell out of the holder on the end of a 5' pole

 

and fell into the cleavage of a well-endowed sister - she was mortified trying to get the mic out - it was stuck in there

[Tcvancoops]

I have a couple personal ones.  One time I burped mid sentence during a talk.  I tried to keep talking like it didn’t happen while my householder was trying desperately not to laugh.

When I was younger I had a talk in reincarnation, and the setting was witnessing in a waiting room.  I told my householder that I will come in and sit down, and for her to look at me like she recognized me.  We practiced, it went well, and we felt ready.  When it was our turn on stage, my householder did the most dramatic looking face with head swivels when I sat down.  I lost it, she started laughing too, audience is laughing, and the elder taking the lead was tapping his pencil at us.  I later asked her why she did that.  Her response, “I have no idea!  I panicked!”

 

One of my favorite elder slip ups was during a Bible reading.  The scripture was Proverbs 2:18 where it says “her house sinks down into death”.  The brother (who is an excellent reader btw) was reading with such conviction that it made me burst out laughing when he said, “for her house STINKS!”  Messing up the English language makes me laugh the hardest, so I was in tears over it.  He quickly corrected himself, but we both had a good laugh at it after the meeting together.

[Luezette]

1 hour ago, JehovahLuvs said:

ha ha hilarious story

 

? I have never understood bros and sis being overawed by the GB members. They're just imperfect undeserving slaves like the rest of us. When I went to Brooklyn on a Bethel tour in 1985, I met old brother Fred Franz. He asked me if I wanted my photo with him and I said no thanks! Ha ha he wasn't very impressed. 

I think I would've had it done anyway, but that's just me. Not because of any "overawed" of the GB, but just because. 

[Luezette]

36 minutes ago, DarinS said:

and fell into the cleavage of a well-endowed sister - she was mortified trying to get the mic out - it was s

Oh no! I would've died right there in my seat. 

[sunshine]

I was recently at an assembly in Spain and the brother forgot the midday song - be just said that concludes the morning session, announced when the afternoon session would begin and said enjoy your meal. The funniest thing was most of the audience just started chatting and milling around as if it was normal so my friend and I being visitors were confused and kept looking at the program to see if things were different in this country.  After about 1 minute,  he came back on and aapologised and we sang the song.

[normadenardo]

I went to a convention where the brother forgot to say “in jesus name” at the end of his prayer. Ever one looked up after he said amen, a little confused. Lol. 

[Qapla]

Back in the 80's we had an older Brother in our Hall. He had been in the US Navy during WWII before learning the Truth. He was now serving as an Elder. He had a bit of a gruff personality and would sometimes say things that could come across as insulting or belittling. When this was mentioned to him he just said, This is how I am - I can't change". He also gave many experiences of how things were when he was in the Navy - how he was before he changed.

 

When he was in his mid 80's he began having difficulties giving parts from the program and finally agreed to forgo that privilege but continued to serve on the BOE.

 

On day, during a Q&A part (can't remember if it was the WT, BS or some other part) he was giving a comment and was relating some experience from his Navy days during WWII ... he made a decent point - but, just as he ended his comment, he added, "We really gave them Japs Hell that day!"

 

That was the last time he commented at the meeting.

[EccentricM]

On 8/25/2019 at 7:55 AM, sunshine said:

I was recently at an assembly in Spain and the brother forgot the midday song - be just said that concludes the morning session, announced when the afternoon session would begin and said enjoy your meal. The funniest thing was most of the audience just started chatting and milling around as if it was normal so my friend and I being visitors were confused and kept looking at the program to see if things were different in this country.  After about 1 minute,  he came back on and aapologised and we sang the song.

Now I'm just imagining someone trying to sing with a mouth half of half a sandwich.

[sunshine]

14 hours ago, normaclutter said:

I went to a convention where the brother forgot to say “in jesus name” at the end of his prayer. Ever one looked up after he said amen, a little confused. Lol. 

Not too long ago a brother in my congregation forgot to say "Amen"... he just said "in Jesus name.." and started to leave the platform.   When he realized we were all either staring at him in stunned silence or still had our heads down waiting form the end,  he jumped back to the mike and added "AMEN"

 

He was every shade of red plus a couple of shades I'd never seen before.   Too funny 

 

 

 

PS Where is "Funniest thing at a meeting...." thread? Is it still running?

Edited August 26, 2019 by sunshine

[Pjdriver]

On 8/20/2019 at 8:13 PM, JehovahLuvs said:

ha ha hilarious story

 

? I have never understood bros and sis being overawed by the GB members. They're just imperfect undeserving slaves like the rest of us. When I went to Brooklyn on a Bethel tour in 1985, I met old brother Fred Franz. He asked me if I wanted my photo with him and I said no thanks! Ha ha he wasn't very impressed. 

There’s always such a thing as respect. I knew brother Franz and family members. I have a hard time believing he went around asking others if they want a pic with him. Quite the opposite.

Edited August 26, 2019 by Pjdriver

[LoneWanderer]

On 8/26/2019 at 1:04 PM, EccentricM said:

Now I'm just imagining someone trying to sing with a mouth half of half a sandwich.

Foyaw fowe *gulp* Gooodd is love *munch munch*

May his schpirit *munch* us to love

 

Edit: Forgot the spitting of sandwich crumbs all over the place

Edited August 27, 2019 by LoneWanderer