Bible accounts that make you laugh

[Meditate!]

this is one that makes me smile internally...

 

The whole things fills me with awe at Jesus' calmness, pure logic but the answer at the end is fabulous.. (to me anyway)

 

(Mark 12:24-27) 24 Jesus said to them: “Is not this why you are mistaken, because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God? 25 For when they rise from the dead, neither do men marry nor are women given in marriage, but they are as angels in the heavens. 26 But concerning the dead being raised up, have you not read in the book of Moses, in the account about the thornbush, that God said to him: ‘I am the God of Abraham and God of Isaac and God of Jacob’? 27 He is a God, not of the dead, but of the living. You are very much mistaken.”

 

I have a marker on my phone and i often read it for the uplift and smile it gives me just thinking about the way Jesus full of confidence in his father's ability.. and 'perhaps' smiling whist he said it?
 

[Skye]

Even the wisest of men could not master these wonderful creatures called women, at their worst! I wonder how often he needed to stay at the ‘corner of the roof’ or the ‘wilderness’ rather than face one or many of his quarrelsome and irritable wives! 

 

Nice one, Alex!

[EccentricM]

26 minutes ago, Skye said:

Even the wisest of men could not master these wonderful creatures called women, at their worst!

Clearly the wisest course, according to God given wisdom, is to stay away from a woman in a bad mood. 😄

 

I do wonder though, if it was not his lack of ability to deal with such women, but they may have simply refused to listen to the wisdom he spoke to them. We see that even today all the time. Just look at extremist feminism, no ammount of reasoning backs them down from their vicious self entitlement and rage. I too would rather be on a roof than have to deal with them.

Edited February 9, 2019 by EccentricM

[Bek]

I was reading the book of Matthew just now. I find Matthew 11:7-8 where Jesus asks a crowd of people about John the Baptist quite funny. 

 

"7 While these were on their way, Jesus began to speak to the crowds about John: “What did you go out into the wilderness to see? A reed being tossed by the wind? 8 What, then, did you go out to see? A man dressed in soft garments? Why, those wearing soft garments are in the houses of kings."

 

I picture a crowd going into the wilderness for the sole purpose of staring at reeds being tossed about or men in soft garments.

 

I think that Jesus was being sarcastic here and possibly having a chuckle to himself. 

 

 

Edited February 11, 2019 by Bek

[1MKnight]

On 2/7/2019 at 11:35 AM, ChocoBro said:

I like to quote this one as proof that even contemporaries had a difficult time understanding Paul's extensive deliberations

 

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Furthermore, consider the patience of our Lord as salvation, just as our beloved brother Paul also wrote you according to the wisdom given him, 16 speaking about these things as he does in all his letters. However, some things in them are hard to understand, and these things the ignorant and unstable are twisting, as they do also the rest of the Scriptures, to their own destruction.

2 Peter 3:15,16

 

Perhaps this is why Paul wrote in Galatians:

(Galatians 6:11) . . .See with what large letters I have written you . . .

 

---

 

Fun fact: the NLT literally renders this verse:

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NOTICE WHAT LARGE LETTERS I USE

(Capitalization theirs)
 

[ChocoBro]

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He now found a fresh jawbone of a male donkey; he reached out and grabbed it and struck down 1,000 men with it.16 Then Samson said:

“With the jawbone of a donkey—one heap, two heaps!

With the jawbone of a donkey I struck down 1,000 men.”

- Judges 15

Sounds like a lot of fun, it certainly has a fun rhythm to it! ONE HEAP! TWO HEAPS! BAM BAM BAM! DOWN I STRUCK A THOUSAND MEN!"
Samson must have had a screw loose. I love him.

[EccentricM]

Well, Samson even took honey from a lion's carcass to eat and took some home for his family, but didn't tell them where it came from!

[ChocoBro]

On 2/5/2019 at 9:04 PM, Duplo said:

When the Philistines find out he did this, they kill his wife and father-in-law because...reasons. Samson tells them: "If this is how you act (wait a second, you just set their fields on fire with FOXES!!!), I will not quit until I take revenge on you." He slaughters them all and hangs out in a cave afterwards, presumably to sleep because he's had a busy day gathering foxes and killing Philistines.

I personally think Samson hid in the cave because he was so grief-stricken by the murder of his wife, even his acting out of revenge on the many Philistines wasn't able to console him.

 

Samson's greatest weakness was his seemingly intense love for women. The Bible never clearly words it in such a way, but you can read it between the lines. For example, in Judges 16 he seeks consolation from a prostitute. Then, he seeks to fill the void with the woman Delila in whom he falls in love with

 

On 2/5/2019 at 10:21 PM, Gimestr said:

I love Samson's story.  He is a little slow at times especially in Judges 16:6-18 where he just can't grasp that he is being fooled.  You think after the second attempt he would see that Deli'lah was playing him.

And I disagree with this, in that sense, too. I am certain that Samson had a strong hunch that Delila was likely to betray him (as concerns her, we also need to keep in mind that maybe Samson had a reputation for getting women into trouble with the Philistines). I think he was so desperately wanting to be loved and to trust her that he gave up, Judges 16:16 says he was no longer able to bear it. I think he was so blinded by his emotions that he completely forgot about what Jehovah's will is. There may be a lesson there for young people looking for love, but in any case, this account is so tragic for me I want to cry when I read about Samson's love-life.

 

Too much off-topic, anyway. The man is clearly deserving of an own thread in the "Deep Bible Research" section, wouldn't you all agree?

 

[➕👇 ꓤꓱꓷꓠꓵ🎵Tone]

I always smile when I read this account. I'm not sure who I picture more, the poor girl so excited she left Peter outside, or Peter feeing her bewilderment, but still wanting to get inside...
The setting: Peter was just released from jail by an Angel. He now realises that this is real, not a vision or dream. He knocks on the door of Mary, mother of John Mark.

Acts 12:13-16. When he knocked at the door of the gateway, a servant girl named Rhoda came to answer the call. 14 On recognizing the voice of Peter, she was so overjoyed that she did not open the gate, but ran inside and reported that Peter was standing at the gateway. 15 They said to her: “You are out of your mind.” But she kept insisting that it was so. They began to say: “It is his angel.” 16 But Peter remained there, knocking ...

Lol

I feel for Peter. I find this account very human, and understandable. I hope Peter can laugh at it now.

Just Older

[Meditate!]

I laughed out loud when someone quoted part of scripture in Timothy

 

1 Tim 4:8 is funny if you move the comma back one word so that it is after 'but' and read it that way... LOL

 

For physical training is beneficial for a little butt .......godly devotion is beneficial for all things, as it holds promise of the life now and the life that is to come.

[EccentricM]

4 minutes ago, Alan said:

I laughed out loud when someone quoted part of scripture in Timothy

 

1 Tim 4:8 is funny if you move the comma back one word so that it is after 'but' and read it that way... LOL

 

For physical training is beneficial for a little butt .......godly devotion is beneficial for all things, as it holds promise of the life now and the life that is to come.

Either way, whever the comma should go, it's still accurate.

[Meditate!]

52 minutes ago, EccentricM said:

Either way, whever the comma should go, it's still accurate.

You up ...can't sleep again Matthew?

 

i can't switch off..

[EccentricM]

16 minutes ago, Alan said:

You up ...can't sleep again Matthew?

 

i can't switch off..

I'll PM to not derail.

[sunshine]

I love all of Paul s rebukes, they're the BEST!

 

We've already talked about his "God will strike you, you whitewashed wall"  ... he had such a way with words.  I can't help but smile at what I imagine Elymus' face was like after Paul called him a  " man full of every sort of fraud and every sort of villainy, ... son of the Devil, ... enemy of everything righteous"!  He must have turned all shades of purple  HA !

 

 

but what about Paul's rebuke of the Judaizers

 

GAL 5:12

"I wish the men who are trying to unsettle you would emasculate themselves" [footnote:  “castrate themselves; become eunuchs,” ]

 

That is called hitting the enemy where it hurts.   Or scripturally "aiming ones blows so as not to be striking the air"

 

Edited February 14, 2019 by sunshine

[ChocoBro]

4 hours ago, sunshine said:

I love all of Paul s rebukes, they're the BEST!

 

We've already talked about his "God will strike you, you whitewashed wall"  ... he had such a way with words.  I can't help but smile at what I imagine Elymus' face was like after Paul called him a  " man full of every sort of fraud and every sort of villainy, ... son of the Devil, ... enemy of everything righteous"!  He must have turned all shades of purple  HA !

 

 

but what about Paul's rebuke of the Judaizers

 

GAL 5:12

"I wish the men who are trying to unsettle you would emasculate themselves" [footnote:  “castrate themselves; become eunuchs,” ]

 

That is called hitting the enemy where it hurts.   Or scripturally "aiming ones blows so as not to be striking the air"

 

 

Paul certainly wasn't one to mince words.

 

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So in response—I speak as to my children—you too open your hearts wide

In other words: grow up!!

[ChrisC]

Something that our son said confused him for a while was from the reference Bible, 2Ch 34:14:

“Now while they were bringing out the money that was being brought to the house of Jehovah, Hil·kiʹah the priest found the book of Jehovah’s law by the hand of Moses.“

He thought they had also found “the hand of Moses”!

[Friends just call me Ross]

12 hours ago, ChrisC said:

Something that our son said confused him for a while was from the reference Bible, 2Ch 34:14:

“Now while they were bringing out the money that was being brought to the house of Jehovah, Hil·kiʹah the priest found the book of Jehovah’s law by the hand of Moses.“

He thought they had also found “the hand of Moses”!

The book was sitting right there.  Right by the hand of Moses. 

[Gimestr]

12 hours ago, ChrisC said:

Something that our son said confused him for a while was from the reference Bible, 2Ch 34:14:

“Now while they were bringing out the money that was being brought to the house of Jehovah, Hil·kiʹah the priest found the book of Jehovah’s law by the hand of Moses.“

He thought they had also found “the hand of Moses”!

I can honestly see how he got that confused.

[Cushi]

John 8:48-52

 

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48 In answer the Jews said to him: “Are we not right in saying, ‘You are a Sa·marʹi·tan+ and have a demon’?”+ 49 Jesus answered: “I do not have a demon, but I honor my Father, and you dishonor me. 50 But I am not seeking glory for myself;+ there is One who is seeking and judging. 51 Most truly I say to you, if anyone observes my word, he will never see death at all.”+ 52 The Jews said to him: “Now we do know that you have a demon.”

Edited February 22, 2019 by Brother Jack

[Miss Bea]

1 Samuel 21: 13-15. David was feigning insanity, and Achish said the words of vs. 15. The Insight book said Achish let him go because he had no need for a, “harmless idiot”.  Off David went! 

[Cushi]

Quote

19 Look! The windstorm of Jehovah will burst out in fury;

Like a whirling tempest it will whirl down on the head of the wicked .+

Jeremiah 23:19 

[Katty]

Am I the only one who finds it rather amusing that when James and John went to Jesus they sent their mother to speak for them?

Also, in last week's --or the week before's-- Congregation Bible Study when they talked about the temple tax and how the pharisees asked Peter if they paid the tax, the way the brother who played as Peter said "Yes!" made David and I laugh a little. Just a very assured "YES!" lol

 

....also the illustration about the straw and the rafter. I'm picturing someone walking around with a beam poking out of their eye, saying, "yes, yes, I'm fine why does everyone keep asking if I'm okay....oops! Watch your step there! (if someone is knocked down by the beam that is)"

Edited April 22, 2019 by Katty