A good joke

[Lee49]

Why should you stand in a corner if you're cold?

Spoiler

 They're usually 90 degrees 

 

[bohemian]

[bohemian]

I wanted to join the Roman Numeral Society so enquired if I could.

They said that they liked me but it cost £499 and so they couldn’t let me in because I didn’t have ID.

[Tortuga]

22 minutes ago, bohemian said:

I wanted to join the Roman Numeral Society so enquired if I could.

They said that they liked me but it cost £499 and so they couldn’t let me in because I didn’t have ID.

499 in Roman numerals is CDXCIX but it's funny anyway..🤣

[Qapla]

Why do they package eggs in a flimsy cardboard or Styrofoam carton when they put batteries in a package you need a chainsaw to open?

[SUNRAY]

7 minutes ago, Qapla said:

Why do they package eggs in a flimsy cardboard or Styrofoam carton when they put batteries in a package you need a chainsaw to open?

Why??

[Lee49]

33 minutes ago, SUNRAY said:

Why??

Because batteries can catch fire, eggs only break, both leaving you feel worthless or worse !

 

[bohemian]

There was a young man from Peru 

Whose Limericks stopped at line 2

[Tortuga]

12 minutes ago, bohemian said:

There was a young man from Peru 

Whose Limericks stopped at line 2

He tried to do three

But it just wouldn't be

So he had to make do...

[bohemian]

There was a young bard from Japan,
Whose limericks never would scan, 
When told this was so,
He replied “Yes, I know”,
But I always make a rule of trying to get as many words into the last line as I possibly can.

[Sister Twister]

On 12/18/2021 at 11:55 PM, Tortuga said:

He tried to do three

But it just wouldn't be

So he had to make do...

In honour of your wonderful effort Richard we entered in to a collaborative limerick writing huddle @bohemian @suitej and @rocket and we present you our homage to @Tortuga

 

There was a young man called Tortuga 

Who thought he'd try out some Scuba

He dived in the sea

As happy and can be 

But was bitten by an ugly barracuda!

 

[Qapla]

[Doug]

What ENDED in 1914 ?

Spoiler

  1913

[Qapla]

[bohemian]

 

Tortuga whose name’s hard to rhyme with,

considered himself as a wordsmith

he completed the verse

written by others at first

but his talent proved to be only a myth.

 

Tortuga whose name’s hard to rhyme

over poetry took a long time.

The verses he chose to complete

showed he just couldn’t with them compete

and the end result was a crime.

 

To buy rand you must go for the Kruger

For caviare it must be Beluga

The acme of verse,

if you wanted the worst

Would have to be that by Tortuga.

 

😄 with best love and wishes!

[bohemian]

Nothing personal, Richard. It stemmed from your completing my limerick. We had a lot of laughs.

Hope you take in good part.  😃

[bohemian]

I ordered a rapid test kit from the NHS

They sent me a DVD of the Ashes

[Luigi62]

7 hours ago, bohemian said:

I ordered a rapid test kit from the NHS

They sent me a DVD of the Ashes

Just stay home and watch Australia Win.

Edited December 31, 2021 by Luigi62

[bohemian]

My neighbour’s windscreen was iced up this morning and he only had a store discount card to scrape it off with.

It worked, but he only got 10% off.

[Loopy]

 

15 minutes ago, bohemian said:

My neighbour’s windscreen was iced up this morning and he only had a store discount card to scrape it off with.

It worked, but he only got 10% off.

🤦‍♀️

[dilip kumar]

*Notice to all Husbands....*

Treat your wife with love again;
Hotels and restaurants can close anytime!!!.
 🤣😝🤣

 

 

*Notice to all Ladies....*

Treat your husband with love again;
The maid can stop coming to work anytime!!!.
 🤣😝🤣

 

 *#Omicron*

[Qapla]

[pnutts]

My wife said cute in an 😖 way about JT

[bohemian]

Did you hear that they have translated Harper Lee's magnus opus into Mexican ?  Its called Tequila Mockingbird.

[Loopy]

1 hour ago, bohemian said:

Did you hear that they have translated Harper Lee's magnus opus into Mexican ?  Its called Tequila Mockingbird.

Ahhh! That’s bad, real bad. 🤣😂🤣