A good joke

[bohemian]

My wife asked me to pass her the lipstick, I passed her a glue stick by mistake.

She's still not speaking to me.

[bohemian]

[bohemian]

[Pjdriver]

Hey….where did Noah put the bees? 🐝
 

 

In the Archives (Ark hives)  

[Pjdriver]

Did you hear about the American Indian that drank 40 cups of tea??????

 

 

They found him laying dead in his tee pee.  

[Loopy]

1 hour ago, Pjdriver said:

Did you hear about the American Indian that drank 40 cups of tea??????

 

 

They found him laying dead in his tee pee.  

I pulled this on the friends on zoom ministry this morning. It definitely caused some chuckles. And one brother even asked me to send it to him. 🤣 😂 🤣

 

Thanks Br. Burt.

[rocket]

10 hours ago, Pjdriver said:

Did you hear about the American Indian that drank 40 cups of tea??????

 

 

They found him laying dead in his tee pee.  

That is an abbreviated form of the old joke that my granddad would ruin back in the 1950's

it goes:

 

There once was an ole Indian Chief that went to England and fell in love with tea. He loved it so much that he brought back to America a whole boat load. Getting home he drank tea to the wee hours of the night. They found him the next day dead in his tea pee.

 

Granddad was one who couldn't tell a dirty joke so he always ruined it by saying "dead in his wigwam." 😂

[Pjdriver]

20 minutes ago, rocket said:

That is an abbreviated form of the old joke that my granddad would ruin back in the 1950's

it goes:

 

There once was an ole Indian Chief that went to England and fell in love with tea. He loved it so much that he brought back to America a whole boat load. Getting home he drank tea to the wee hours of the night. They found him the next day dead in his tea pee.

 

Granddad was one who couldn't tell a dirty joke so he always ruined it by saying "dead in his wigwam." 😂

Years ago I was in a car group and we were telling joke and  a little old sister long in the truth said:

 

"I went to the Dam to get some dam water. I asked the dam man if I could have some dam water...but the dam man said I couldn’t have any dam water. So I told the dam man to keep his dam water."

 

Then she spent the rest of the morning trying to assure us she wasn’t saying damn....just dam.  

[dove]

1 hour ago, rocket said:

 

 

Granddad was one who couldn't tell a dirty joke so he always ruined it by saying "dead in his wigwam." 😂

My father in law wouldn't say fig newtons for the same reason, only newtons..☺️

[daydream]

Quote

Figging : The act of putting a shaved ginger root into the anus. It creates a burning sensation around the sphincter, and a cooling sensation at the same time.

Ok, now I understand reason the word is not used in polite circles because of its sexual connotation. 🙁

[dove]

No I never heard of what you wrote 

Edited January 16, 2022 by Dove

[daydream]

Oops, that is from urban dictionary, so maybe it is more contemporary.

See a more traditional source. Merriam Webster

Synonyms for fig

Synonyms: Noun (1)

 

damn, darn 

 diddly [slang], 

diddly-squat [slang]

Spoiler

(not) give a fig

slang To (not) be concerned about someone or something. Most commonly used in negative constructions.

 

Edited January 16, 2022 by happiness IS

[dove]

Nothing to do with figs. Just the sound of the word 

[bagwell1987]

Crazy culture, words are fine in one place but offensive in others. Been guilty of making that mistake myself. 

[pnutts]

Reminds me of a Don Knotts movie "How to Frame a Frigg".

[dove]

2 hours ago, bagwell1987 said:

Crazy culture, words are fine in one place but offensive in others. Been guilty of making that mistake myself. 

Not so much what the word fig meant but that it made him think of another swear word which he didn't want to even get close to saying...🙃

[daydream]

10 hours ago, pnutts said:

How to Frame a Frigg

https://archive.org/details/how-to-frame-a-figg-1080p

 

How to Frame a Figg is a 1971 comedy film about a bookkeeper's bungling assistant, Hollis Alexander Figg (played by Don Knotts), in the Dalton city hall, who finds himself framed for embezzlement.

 

Thanks Br. Peter.

[pnutts]

Another women driving saga.

Spoiler

🤮🤢

 

[Tortuga]

.. husbands, listen to your wife...

 

🤣

[JJWest]

What’s the difference between people in Dubai and people in Abu Dhabi? 

 

Spoiler

People in Dubai don’t like the Flintstones, but people in Abu Dhabi Do! 😬

 

Edited January 22, 2022 by Jjwhittier

[bohemian]

Glaswegian goes into cake shop and points at one of the wares in the glass display: "Is that a custard tart or a meringue?"

The shop girl says, "No, you were right the first time, Sir, that is a custard tart"

[Sheep]

So, a dyslexic walks into a bra.......

[dove]

This isn’t a joke but I think it’s funny because it really happened 

My husband was ordering 40 chicken wings and the girl asked him..

 

‘how do you want them’

and

he said, ‘20 left and 20 right’

[Sheep]

Edited January 27, 2022 by Sheep

[bagwell1987]

Oh maann, how did he NOT see that? Maybe he lost his pole for vaulting?