A good joke

[pnutts]

Sort of like "Race to the Restroom" by I.P. Frealy

Reminds me of spelling "P.I.G." backwards and adding word " Funny"

 

 

 

[ Must be a borg mal function or bad plumbing- G.I.P. Funny ]

Edited October 20, 2015 by pnutts

[Providence]

really enjoying this collections

[dilip kumar]

TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"

JOHNNY: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the

same day, same time."

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[dilip kumar]

→ TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have

today that we didn’t have ten years ago.

WILLIE: Me!

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[dilip kumar]

TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down

his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted doing

it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?"

JOHNNY: "Because George still had the ax in his hand."

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[dilip kumar]

The above 3 were sent to me by dear wife

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[jpcook]

There is a river, with a blond standing on each side of the river.

One blond asks the other, "How can I get on the other side?"

The other blond replied: "Silly, you're already on the other side!"

[jpcook]

A blond and a brunette were watching the 6:00 O'clock News.  A story comes on showing a man ready to jump off a bridge.

The brunette says to the blond: "I'll bet you $50.00 that he jumps!"

The blond responds: "Okay, you're on!"

The man jumps, and the brunette says "Pay up!"  Then she says, "No, you don't really have to pay me, I saw this on the 5:00 O'Clock News... I knew he was going to jump!"

The blond says, "Oh no, I'll pay you... I saw it on the 5:00 O'Clock News too, and I thought for sure he wouldn't jump again!"

[Tortuga]

A blond and a brunette were watching the 6:00 O'clock News.  A story comes on showing a man ready to jump off a bridge.

 

Blond jokes!!

 

I love them!

 

Huh, can you repeat it and type a little slower please?

[pnutts]

Blond jokes!!

 

I love them!

 

Huh, can you repeat it and type a little slower please?

Turtle must be having a senior moment.

[trottigy]

Or a blond one

[Friends just call me Ross]

Get ready to groan...

 

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

A roamin' catholic.

 

Cats are smarter than dogs. You won't ever see eight cats pulling a sled through snow.

—Jeff Valdez

 

If someone from the 1950s suddenly appeared, what would be the most difficult thing to explain about life today?

One answer: “I possess a device in my pocket that is capable of accessing the entirety of information known to man. I use it to look at pictures of cats and get into arguments with strangers.”

 

On a family vacation one summer, we crossed Wyoming and noted several historical points of interest. The children were especially interested because they enjoyed the computer game “Oregon Trail,” which gives players a taste of the hardships the pioneers endured. We stopped at the famous South Pass to look at the wagon tracks still visible in the dirt. Squinting out over the desolate, wind-swept landscape, my daughter sighed and said, “This is where my oxen always die.”

— Quin Gilbert

 

I used to love playing 'Oregon Trail'.   If it looked as though you were gonna actually make it to Oregon, it's a safe bet a rattler would bite you  or you'd lose your wagon in a river crossing.   

 

In the entire history of the game, was anyone ever allowed to make it to the end of the trail--ALIVE?  

 

 

 

[dilip kumar]

I don't know whether it is true or not, but I had a good laugh at this along

with gayu...

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[1gemstone]

Q:Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?

A. Samson. He brought the house down!

[dilip kumar]

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[dilip kumar]

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[dilip kumar]

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[dilip kumar]

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[kejedo]

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Arrange yourselves alphabetically by height.

[bohemian]

I went out for a run today but had to go home after 1 minute because I had forgotten something.

 

I forgot that I'm old, fat and can't run for more than a minute!

[pnutts]

I'm old, fat and can't run at all,      angina

[Tortuga]

I'm old, fat and can't run at all,      angina

 

I tried running a few times but the USGS asked me to stop...

 

http://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/states/?region=California

[Musky]

I tried jogging to improve my health, but the ice cubes kept bouncing out of my cocktail.

[Musky]

I then tried walking as a means to lose weight, but unfortunately, I walked to the ice cream parlor. 

[Tortuga]

I then tried walking as a means to lose weight, but unfortunately, I walked to the ice cream parlor. 

 

My doctor told me to walk to get my heart rate up, so i walk to Starbucks and buy a double espresso...