A good joke

[Tortuga]

43 minutes ago, Qapla said:

 

Maybe you only remembered one ... I saw the solution right off - but then, I have a few card tricks up my sleeve 

We are so proud of you....

 

I missed it the first time but figured it out on the second try.

[Pjdriver]

I’m not as bright as you guys, I still don’t get it. I picked the 8clubs. I know the suits are different but it did guess it was an 8....right? 

Edited October 15, 2018 by Pjdriver

[dove]

I'm glad someone admitted they don't get it 'cause I don't either, even with the explanations..I think the same, it was still always my card that disappeared..

[Musky]

ALL of the first set of cards disappear.

[Tortuga]

30 minutes ago, Pjdriver said:

I’m not as bright as you guys, I still don’t get it. I picked the 8clubs. I know the suits are different but it did guess it was an 8....right? 

The second set of cards are all different from the first set..

[walkr2]

My wife has a bad back and it's getting difficult for her to stand or walk so she recently started seeing a pain management doctor. He suggested that she get a shot at the base of her spine that will temporarily block the source of her pain. She had the procedure done today and she didn't recognize me 

Epidural?

[Pjdriver]

8 hours ago, Tortuga said:

The second set of cards are all different from the first set..

I noticed the suits are all different, but the numbers are the same....in the first instance there were 2-6s, 2-7s, 2- 8s.     I chose the 8.  In the second instance all the numbers were there except one of the 8s. Der    

Edited October 15, 2018 by Pjdriver

[Tortuga]

Did King Solomon really need to tell them to cut the baby in half? It sounds to me like he was just splitting heirs..

[kejedo]

On ‎10‎/‎10‎/‎2018 at 5:00 AM, TonyWenz said:

I agree...

Older {waiting for wiser}
 

Vodka may not help much, either, But it's worth a shot.

[kejedo]

On ‎10‎/‎14‎/‎2018 at 7:45 PM, Qapla said:

 

Maybe you only remembered one ... I saw the solution right off - but then, I have a few card tricks up my sleeve 

The great Oscar has removed all the original cards. I usually spot these ype "card tricks" at first glance.  I wonder if a retired, elderly math teacher would get caught counting cards in Vegas. 

[bohemian]

What's blue, and not heavy?

 

Spoiler

Light blue

 

Edited November 2, 2018 by bohemian

[bohemian]

Has anyone here tried blindfold archery?

 

 

no?  You don't know what you're missing.

[bohemian]

I've become addicted to brake fluid.  It's not a problem, though. I can stop anytime.

[➕👇 ꓤꓱꓷꓠꓵ🎵Tone]

Cat joke, depending on your point of view...

A German Shepherd, Doberman and a Cat have all died and go to pet heaven.

All three are at the Pearly Gates before God who wants to know if they are worthy of entry.
So God asks them what they believe in, their core beliefs and values.

The German shepherd replies:"I believe in discipline, training and loyalty to my
master."
"Good," says God, "then sit down on my right side."
"Doberman, what do you believe in?" asks God. The Doberman answers: "I
believe in the love, care and protection of my master.
"Ah" said God, "you may sit on my left."

Then he looks at the Cat, and asks: "And what do you believe in?"
The Cat then answers: "I believe you are siting in my seat."



Older {waiting for wiser}

[Tortuga]

4 hours ago, TonyWenz said:

The Cat then answers: "I believe you are siting in my seat."

It must be a Himalayan cat because him a laying anywhere he wants...

[➕👇 ꓤꓱꓷꓠꓵ🎵Tone]

It must be a Himalayan cat because him a laying anywhere he wants...

Oh dear, what have I started....

Older {waiting for wiser}

[Old]

1 hour ago, Tortuga said:

It must be a Himalayan cat because him a laying anywhere he wants...

GONG-G-G--G-G-G!

Anybody here remember the Gong Show?

[Zephyr]

So a three-legged dog walks into a saloon and barks "Im looking for the man that shot my Paw"

 

(imagine it with a John Wayne accent)

 

 

[pnutts]

6 hours ago, Old said:

Anybody here remember the Gong Show

What is the instrument used to hit the Gong with?

Spoiler

a Ding Bat

 

[bohemian]

I went to a Kleptomaniacs Anonymous meeting, but all the seats were taken.

[dove]

1 hour ago, pnutts said:

What is the instrument used to hit the Gong with?

  Reveal hidden contents

a Ding Bat

 

Thought you were going to say a Himalayan cat...

 

 

[Tortuga]

1 minute ago, Dove said:

Thought you were going to say a Himalayan cat...

 

 

I'm glad he did say it was a Tortoiseshell cat....

[pnutts]

1 hour ago, Dove said:

Thought you were going to say a Himalayan cat.

Nah. Their claws make a Screeching sound.  😾

 

Tortoise shell just make a Thud sound

 

[➕👇 ꓤꓱꓷꓠꓵ🎵Tone]

Unless you dunk them in your tea!

Older {waiting for wiser}

[➕👇 ꓤꓱꓷꓠꓵ🎵Tone]

Good to have close friends ...

Older {waiting for wiser}