A good joke

[dilip kumar]

The love story of Kamlesh and Kavita.

Kamlesh and Kavita were both patients in a mental hospital..

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Kamlesh suddenly jumped into the deep end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Kavita promptly jumped in to save him.

She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Kavita's heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Kavita the news she said: 'Kavita, I have good news and bad news.

The good news is you're being discharged since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love.

I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

The bad news is that Kamlesh hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

Kavita replied (you'll love this)

[gr_rogers]

Hahahaaaaaaaaaaa

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[Sunnyside]

Lol

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[1gemstone]

  ....too funny!

[ReadYourBible]

Two cows were talking to one another in Washington. One says to the other, "What do you think about this mad cow disease?" The other cow says, "What do I care, I'm a helicopter!"

[dilip kumar]

A drunkard is stopped by the Police around 1 am. & is asked where he is going at this time of night.

The man replies, "I am going to attend a lecture on alcohol abuse & ill effects on my health."

Officer: Really....??? Sounds interesting, Who is giving that lecture at this time of night.....???"

...

Man replies "My Wife"!!!

ː̗

[dilip kumar]

[dilip kumar]

[jayrtom]

Hey Dilip you have a great repository of jokes

[A fellow servant]

I love jokes....I  have never been any good at relating them.        Keep em coming !      The first one about she hung him out to dry is really funny!!

[dilip kumar]

. Do we know actual full form of some words??? 

[dilip kumar]

In a "Mental Hospital" a journalist asks the Doctor: How do u determine whether to admit a mental patient or not?

Dr: Well..we'd fill a bathtub

[dilip kumar]

This puzzle is called Lateral Thinking.. Just Check It Out!

Scroll down slowly and be honest to yourself. Think like a wizard;

man

1. ------------

board

Ans. =man overboard

Okay, let's see if you've got the hang of it.

stand

2. ------------

i

Ans. = I understand

OK . .Got the drift ?Let's try a few now and see how you fare ?

3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/g/

Ans. = reading between the lines

R

4. Road

A

D

Ans. = cross road

Not having a good day now, are you ?Redeem yourself.

5. cyclecyclecycle

Ans. = tricycle

Easy to figure out, ha!

0

6._________

M.D.Ph.D.

Ans. = two degrees below zero

C'mon give it a little thought ! !

knee

7. ------------

light

Ans. = neon light ( knee - on - light )

I'm sure you'll have no problem getting this one.

ground

8. ----- ----------

feet feet feet feet feet feet

Ans. = six feet underground

Good One, try this!!

9. he's / himself

Ans. = he's by himself

Here's an easy one!!

10. ecnalg

Ans. = backward glance

Not even close ?!!?

11. death ..... life

Ans. = life after death

Okay last chance .

12. THINK

Ans. = think big ! !

And the last one is very funny- - -

13. Ababaaabbbbaaaabbbbababaabbaaabbbb...

Ans. = long time no 'C'

[jayrtom]

. Do we know actual full form of some words???

[dilip kumar]

Opps

[dilip kumar]

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for many years. He went to the doctor and got himself a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100 per cent . A month later, the doctor remarked :| ,' Your hearing is perfect.' Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again'. The gentleman replied ,' Oh, I haven' t told them, I just sit around and listen to their conversation. I' ve changed my WILL 3 times.'

[Qapla]

George was a "real" golfer - he lived for the game. We played golf every Saturday morning with some "friends" from the Club.

One Saturday morning while they were on the back nine a funeral procession went down the street that was on the other side of the fence. George stopped what he was doing, took off his hat, held it over his heart and bowed his head while the procession drove by. When it was passed he replaced his hat and began his putt.

One of his fellow golfers remarked that his action when the funeral went by was very outstanding. The rest of the foursome agreed.

George commentd, "Well, she did give me 20 of the best years of her life, I figured it was the least I could do."

[pnutts]

I didn't understand this one... Your game of chess has chariots... And elefants?

In India - maybe. Wasn't chess started there?

[dilip kumar]

[dilip kumar]

[dilip kumar]

I lloved it

[niall]

I have an old favourite that I used a few times when working in Children's Homes.

Q. If you weigh a whale at a whale weigh station, where do you weigh a pie?

.

.

.

Give them time to think. Repeat the question slowly if they don't understand it.

.

.

.

.

.

If they really can't get it, the answer is ...

A. Somewhere over a rainbow!

When you see the puzzled look on their face — in your best Judy Garland voice, sing: "Some where over a rainbow, weigh a pie."

Yep. I've got a strange sense of humour.

[dilip kumar]

( forwarded image. No offence Pls)

[dilip kumar]

[29/03 2:33 pm] ‪+91 98450 75843‬: I found a Leaflet in my newspaper this morning which read, 'ARE YOU AN ALCOHOLIC? CALL NOW. WE CAN HELP!!!'

My wife insisted I make a call

I Called up. It Was A Liquor Shop Offer : 'Buy 3 & Get 1 Free'...

My eyes were filled with tears of joy.

[Chijwas]

you kill me bro. Theses are too funny.

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