2024 Governing Body Update #2

[truce]

On 3/28/2024 at 8:17 AM, Leslie.m said:

But… that’s a rule… that you’ve all made…

It is. A rule. 😆 

[Reader]

The recent changes can be viewed as preparation for more changes in the near future. It can even help us to adjust to what we will experience when the new scrolls are opened in the new world.

Edited March 29 by Dages

[Leslie.m]

23 minutes ago, Reader said:

The recent changes can be viewed as preparation for more changes in the near future. It can even help us to adjust to what we will experience when the new scrolls are opened in the new world. 

The recent changes can be viewed as preparation for more changes in the near future. It can even help us to adjust to what we will experience when the new scrolls are opened in the new world. 

The recent changes can be viewed as preparation for more changes in the near future. It can even help us to adjust to what we will experience when the new scrolls are opened in the new world. 

So nice you said it thrice! 🤣

[Sepie93]

I was thinking about the instructions the elders give in regard to this new arrangement and this thread.. and I have to say that I can understand both sides here..

Although I did say in an earlier post that I hate it to be micromanaged, I have to come forward and say that I also recognize and deeply respect the authority the elders have in Sheperding and taking care of the congregation.

Although the GB gave this new instruction, it does not mean that all other principles in the Bible are all of a sudden erased.
We still don't want to stumble or hurt others.

An example: with the beard update, it was clearly said that a brother can choose. But that does not mean at all costs. In my congregation, there is a brother whom I know has difficulty with brothers having beards due to his background.
Now, this brother really tried to apply the instruction and really worked on his feelings. So after a chat with him, I decided that I could wear a beard with a clear conscience. But would it be Christ-like to wear a beard and stumble this brother? No. The apostle Paul was clear about things that might stumble someone, and to avoid thinking like: "because I have the right, this brothers has to adapt, and I just don't care."

As a BOE, they know the sheep well. It might be true that the GB gave a certain instruction. But this instruction did not cover all the details.
What if, in a particular congregation, brothers and sisters really stumble when a brother does not wear a tie for less than 7 minutes while conducting the meeting? What if in this congregation friends chat with each other more about the tie-less conductor instead of the spiritual food provided at this meeting?

It wouldn't be Christ-like, nor loving to just push and push and be insensitive to their feelings. As appointed brothers, we want to serve the friends. In other words, we want to put our own interest aside in order to be there for the friends.
Maybe these brothers are wrong in their feelings, but that doesn't annul our personal responsibility to still take their stance and feelings into consideration.

Given this information, it would be loving, maybe even necessary for a BOE to request this less-than-7-minutes-tie-meeting of the servants conducting it. It might very well be a way of serving your friends in the congregation.

It's the same with beards. If my beard stumbles someone, Christian love should motivate me to shave.
If a sisters' make-up stumbles someone or a group, Christian love should motivate her to go without.
If in a congregation people are sensitive to a just less than 7 minutes field service meeting without a tie, Christian love should still motivate us to just wear it.

I think if we focus more on what the needs of others are and less of what our individual rights might be, we are more useful in every way.

And let Jehovah and Jesus take care of situations within congregations that need to change

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[Tia]

2 hours ago, Reader said:

Oops, didn't mean for my message to be repeated so many times. I guess I touched the reply button more than once. Sorry about that!

Sherry,  imho I took it as emphasis!!! is good as I need reminders over, over and over again! 

 

 

Edited March 29 by Tia

[Reader]

I guess that's what is called as having a "senior moment". 🥴

[Exter]

5 hours ago, Sepie93 said:

I was thinking about the instructions the elders give in regard to this new arrangement and this thread.. and I have to say that I can understand both sides here..

Although I did say in an earlier post that I hate it to be micromanaged, I have to come forward and say that I also recognize and deeply respect the authority the elders have in Sheperding and taking care of the congregation.

Although the GB gave this new instruction, it does not mean that all other principles in the Bible are all of a sudden erased.
We still don't want to stumble or hurt others.

An example: with the beard update, it was clearly said that a brother can choose. But that does not mean at all costs. In my congregation, there is a brother whom I know has difficulty with brothers having beards due to his background.
Now, this brother really tried to apply the instruction and really worked on his feelings. So after a chat with him, I decided that I could wear a beard with a clear conscience. But would it be Christ-like to wear a beard and stumble this brother? No. The apostle Paul was clear about things that might stumble someone, and to avoid thinking like: "because I have the right, this brothers has to adapt, and I just don't care."

As a BOE, they know the sheep well. It might be true that the GB gave a certain instruction. But this instruction did not cover all the details.
What if, in a particular congregation, brothers and sisters really stumble when a brother does not wear a tie for less than 7 minutes while conducting the meeting? What if in this congregation friends chat with each other more about the tie-less conductor instead of the spiritual food provided at this meeting?

It wouldn't be Christ-like, nor loving to just push and push and be insensitive to their feelings. As appointed brothers, we want to serve the friends. In other words, we want to put our own interest aside in order to be there for the friends.
Maybe these brothers are wrong in their feelings, but that doesn't annul our personal responsibility to still take their stance and feelings into consideration.

Given this information, it would be loving, maybe even necessary for a BOE to request this less-than-7-minutes-tie-meeting of the servants conducting it. It might very well be a way of serving your friends in the congregation.

It's the same with beards. If my beard stumbles someone, Christian love should motivate me to shave.
If a sisters' make-up stumbles someone or a group, Christian love should motivate her to go without.
If in a congregation people are sensitive to a just less than 7 minutes field service meeting without a tie, Christian love should still motivate us to just wear it.

I think if we focus more on what the needs of others are and less of what our individual rights might be, we are more useful in every way.

And let Jehovah and Jesus take care of situations within congregations that need to change

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Hello dear Brother from Netherlands. I don't understand this:If my beard stumbles someone, Christian love should motivate me to shave.
If a sisters' make-up stumbles someone or a group, Christian love should motivate her to go without.
If in a congregation people are sensitive to a just less than 7 minutes field service meeting without a tie, Christian love should still motivate us to just wear it.

I am over 60 years in the Ministry. I am 81 years. I am a man from a lot of emotions. But I understand not the problem of this hypothesis! Or see you this often in reality?

 

Jehovah may bless you 

[DancesWithWife]

10 minutes ago, Exter said:

Or see you this often in reality?

I have found over my 65 years of being on the planet people find something to be offended about. About 25 years ago I had the last roller skating party at a local roller rink that I grew up in. It was invitation only. It was a small group of around 75 people or so. I selected all the music, the games we would play during the skating party. I bought prizes to give out. I planned every detail to the letter. I went to the Elders ahead of time and told them I was planning a roller skating party and how detailed I was. Several elders were there too.  The owners of the rink who have known me since I was a kid, told me it was the most well behaved party they have ever had there. The owners wanted to give me a refund because we met the base price needed, I chose to the party go on for 30 more minutes.  Everyone went home happy having a good time.

 

Yet fault was found with it. One was by a person who did not even attend the event. I had just gone through a painful divorce and wanted to do something enjoyable that I enjoyed as a kid. Skating has always brought me peace but I was tired of going to the rink and skating with worldly people all the time.

 

What did people find fault with? One was an Elder who did not care for me personally and said I was going against theocratic direction, which was not true. He said because of the size I was going against the direction from the 9/95 Kingdom Ministry. What was the other issue? I had a couples skate. I had not planned one as I did not feel comfortable being a newly divorced brother. A brother, an Elder whom I am friends asked if we could have a couples skate. Why? He had met his wife 20 years earlier at a skating party and wanted to create the moment! How could I say no. Only a few married couples even chose to skate. And yet a sister said I was encouraging the pairing of people and was offended.

 

On the other hand I know I have offended people unintentionally to. Many offenses are cultural. While in New York I offended a man simply by saying hello to him. I was taken aside by my friends and said you offended him by saying hi to him. Cultural differences is the biggest reason we offend people. Many include body language. Including gestures, for example of the use of the "ok" hand gesture. You would never do that gesture in Iraq or some  West African cultures. 

 

My brother who serves an Elder once had a brother take him outside during a meeting to complain about what a sister was wearing! 

 

It takes a lot to offend me personally. for example I don't care for brown dress  shoes, to be honest I hate them. I don't like white dress shirts. I don't care for sisters who wear there hair very short, while on the other hand those same sisters don't like my wife's long hair. 

 

For some it's easy to be offended. Others look beyond the offense. I like what Abraham Lincoln said: " I don't like that man. I must get to know him better". I think we could use this for when we are offended. Get to know the person who was offended and why they were bothered. 

[Exter]

23 minutes ago, DancesWithWife said:

I have found over my 65 years of being on the planet people find something to be offended about. About 25 years ago I had the last roller skating party at a local roller rink that I grew up in. It was invitation only. It was a small group of around 75 people or so. I selected all the music, the games we would play during the skating party. I bought prizes to give out. I planned every detail to the letter. I went to the Elders ahead of time and told them I was planning a roller skating party and how detailed I was. Several elders were there too.  The owners of the rink who have known me since I was a kid, told me it was the most well behaved party they have ever had there. The owners wanted to give me a refund because we met the base price needed, I chose to the party go on for 30 more minutes.  Everyone went home happy having a good time.

 

Yet fault was found with it. One was by a person who did not even attend the event. I had just gone through a painful divorce and wanted to do something enjoyable that I enjoyed as a kid. Skating has always brought me peace but I was tired of going to the rink and skating with worldly people all the time.

 

What did people find fault with? One was an Elder who did not care for me personally and said I was going against theocratic direction, which was not true. He said because of the size I was going against the direction from the 9/95 Kingdom Ministry. What was the other issue? I had a couples skate. I had not planned one as I did not feel comfortable being a newly divorced brother. A brother, an Elder whom I am friends asked if we could have a couples skate. Why? He had met his wife 20 years earlier at a skating party and wanted to create the moment! How could I say no. Only a few married couples even chose to skate. And yet a sister said I was encouraging the pairing of people and was offended.

 

On the other hand I know I have offended people unintentionally to. Many offenses are cultural. While in New York I offended a man simply by saying hello to him. I was taken aside by my friends and said you offended him by saying hi to him. Cultural differences is the biggest reason we offend people. Many include body language. Including gestures, for example of the use of the "ok" hand gesture. You would never do that gesture in Iraq or some  West African cultures. 

 

My brother who serves an Elder once had a brother take him outside during a meeting to complain about what a sister was wearing! 

 

It takes a lot to offend me personally. for example I don't care for brown dress  shoes, to be honest I hate them. I don't like white dress shirts. I don't care for sisters who wear there hair very short, while on the other hand those same sisters don't like my wife's long hair. 

 

For some it's easy to be offended. Others look beyond the offense. I like what Abraham Lincoln said: " I don't like that man. I must get to know him better". I think we could use this for when we are offended. Get to know the person who was offended and why they were bothered. 

Thanks dear Bro. I am 100% with your sight of this mail from the Netherland-Bro. My meaning was by reading the text above, this is more a thesis or hypothesis. 

[Cheeks]

I have found over my 65 years of being on the planet people find something to be offended about. About 25 years ago I had the last roller skating party at a local roller rink that I grew up in. It was invitation only. It was a small group of around 75 people or so. I selected all the music, the games we would play during the skating party. I bought prizes to give out. I planned every detail to the letter. I went to the Elders ahead of time and told them I was planning a roller skating party and how detailed I was. Several elders were there too.  The owners of the rink who have known me since I was a kid, told me it was the most well behaved party they have ever had there. The owners wanted to give me a refund because we met the base price needed, I chose to the party go on for 30 more minutes.  Everyone went home happy having a good time.
 
Yet fault was found with it. One was by a person who did not even attend the event. I had just gone through a painful divorce and wanted to do something enjoyable that I enjoyed as a kid. Skating has always brought me peace but I was tired of going to the rink and skating with worldly people all the time.
 
What did people find fault with? One was an Elder who did not care for me personally and said I was going against theocratic direction, which was not true. He said because of the size I was going against the direction from the 9/95 Kingdom Ministry. What was the other issue? I had a couples skate. I had not planned one as I did not feel comfortable being a newly divorced brother. A brother, an Elder whom I am friends asked if we could have a couples skate. Why? He had met his wife 20 years earlier at a skating party and wanted to create the moment! How could I say no. Only a few married couples even chose to skate. And yet a sister said I was encouraging the pairing of people and was offended.
 
On the other hand I know I have offended people unintentionally to. Many offenses are cultural. While in New York I offended a man simply by saying hello to him. I was taken aside by my friends and said you offended him by saying hi to him. Cultural differences is the biggest reason we offend people. Many include body language. Including gestures, for example of the use of the "ok" hand gesture. You would never do that gesture in Iraq or some  West African cultures. 
 
My brother who serves an Elder once had a brother take him outside during a meeting to complain about what a sister was wearing! 
 
It takes a lot to offend me personally. for example I don't care for brown dress  shoes, to be honest I hate them. I don't like white dress shirts. I don't care for sisters who wear there hair very short, while on the other hand those same sisters don't like my wife's long hair. 
 
For some it's easy to be offended. Others look beyond the offense. I like what Abraham Lincoln said: " I don't like that man. I must get to know him better". I think we could use this for when we are offended. Get to know the person who was offended and why they were bothered. 

Similar to your post I’ve found that someone somewhere at some point will always get offended at anything/everything. I only disclose to select ones when I go to concerts, I don’t play music when using my vehicle for service, I have stopped discussing sports at the Kingdom Hall. It’s unfortunate that it comes to that but at the end of the day it saves a lot of unneeded stress.

I’ll probably take some heat for this but I’ll say it anyway: I’ve found that those that are always offended at everything have way too much time on their hands. When ones are busy with field service and theocratic activities, who has time to sit and contemplate being offended at things?


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[Lee49]

 Well, at the meetings so far,  I've had a beard, dress shirt ,no tie with suit coat/sport coat, a pair of blue wingtip oxford shoes with white soles ( I said I'd never buy/wear them ) everyone so far either complemented me or didn't say anything ( my choice, not on stage ) next I just might not wear the coat meaning just a dress shirt/no tie, depending on how warm it is! So nice to have a personal choice so long as your clean and neat. By the way, I was the only brother not wearing a tie and one sister wearing slacks. I did notice with the presidents ( former and past 2 ) meeting on stage the other day for one of their ralleys to raise money all 3 were not wearing a tie. I think time will help anyone who does not like or go along with the new recommendations just like when white shirts only were the requirement!  😉

[Lee49]

Just now was watching an old episode of Seinfield, Jerry said - " I think in the future there will be no fashion, everyone will be wearing the same outfit, a jump suit with a v neck and black boots, that's it. 🤣

 

[Sepie93]

Hello dear Brother from Netherlands. I don't understand this:If my beard stumbles someone, Christian love should motivate me to shave.
If a sisters' make-up stumbles someone or a group, Christian love should motivate her to go without.
If in a congregation people are sensitive to a just less than 7 minutes field service meeting without a tie, Christian love should still motivate us to just wear it.
I am over 60 years in the Ministry. I am 81 years. I am a man from a lot of emotions. But I understand not the problem of this hypothesis! Or see you this often in reality?
 
Jehovah may bless you 

Thanks for asking.

The first two are not hypotheses but real-life encounters I had.

1. In the field I served, many viewed growing a beard as inappropriate. Why? Because it might be linked to the religion the majority of these people came from. In this religion, the beard can be viewed as a religious symbol. That's why some had strong feelings about it when brothers grew a beard.
Now, we have clear instructions from the GB. But, even after the update, if I know that brothers will be really stumbled in my congregation, why would I not love them enough to just shave? That principal is still there. The update did not annul this Bible principle.

2. In the Netherlands is a region, the majority being very conservative Christians. Make-up is viewed by many as an expression of worldly thinking. Sisters are asked to dress more conservative when going there and to not wear make-up. Why? Christian love motivates us to put our personal preferences aside and adapt in order to not stumble anyone.
Also, in the field where I served, there are many things that we adapt to which are considered "personal" choices: skirts far beyond the knee, no shoulders visible for sisters, no signs of affection between husband and wife during meetings, no Bibles put on the ground before you, even the way brothers sit is a point of consideration due to cultural differences. Christian love motivates us to adapt.

3. This point I have no experience with personally. But this thread showed that there are BOE who decided for the benefit of their respective congregations that wearing a tie in these meetings is asked. Again, Christian love is still a principle higher than this update. So when these BOE came together and decided this, Christian love should motivate us to adapt.

IMO, there is a huge difference between someone just being offended by something and someone struggling with the danger of stumbling about a certain subject.

In the cases 1 en 2 above, the persons did not necessarily get offended. But they would be hurt, spiritually shaken, and confused. This is something else as just being offended.

And of course we can not make every single one happy. Everyone has the personal responsibility to grow spiritually and see if they are too sensitive about a certain subject. But we can't force these changes in feelings and perception in our friends. That's not our responsibility.
So why not just love them and adapt when we can?

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[Sepie93]

These kinds of topics really remind me of what Paul wrote about eating meat offered to idols.

- the instructions were clear: Christians could eat it.
- many accepted it and ate.
- some, I assume: a small minority, had heartfelt problems with it.

The advice?

1 Corinthians 8:9
"But keep watching that your right to choose does not somehow become a stumbling block to those who are weak."

This principle is really, really big, because it applies to so many and different areas of life

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[Amygdala]

13 hours ago, DancesWithWife said:

For some it's easy to be offended. Others look beyond the offense. I like what Abraham Lincoln said: " I don't like that man. I must get to know him better". I think we could use this for when we are offended. Get to know the person who was offended and why they were bothered. 

 

Very true. You could be doing everything right, being conscious of the need not to be a stumbling block, and yet still receive unsavoury or negative judgments from others. Those few who get stumbled out of the Truth because of some action have more deeper issues, that might not necessarily be because of a certain style of dress or grooming.

 

But in the end, part of our training is dealing with the imperfections of others, enduring setbacks from others and yet keeping our joy, and also helping them see the positives in you being a fellow, faithful servant of Jehovah, or the positives in life in general, if they are in a frame of mind of doing so.  Knowing that we’ve done everything on our part to be in united by our words and actions, we can be assured Jehovah is pleased with us. Also that others in the congregation appreciate our value, and also the worldwide organization.

 

When you see the brothers and sisters smiling and greeting from their part of the world at the end of Broadcasting, you just see happy, united faces despite varying differences, but in the end we are one big happy and united family.

[Joy with joy]

22 hours ago, Sepie93 said:

What if, in a particular congregation, brothers and sisters really stumble when a brother does not wear a tie for less than 7 minutes while conducting the meeting? What if in this congregation friends chat with each other more about the tie-less conductor instead of the spiritual food provided at this meeting?

It wouldn't be Christ-like, nor loving to just push and push and be insensitive to their feelings.

 

Totally agree on this. 

 

However, I think it is up to an individual christian to make a decision to or not to wear a tie considering those sensitive ones in the congregation. 

Maybe because I am from a different culture, I find it a bit hard to understand when FDS lets us choose, why a BOE chooses for me? I haven’t read all the posts that say regarding BOE decisions. I hope I do not offend anyone by this post. I am just thankful BOE in my cong didn’t do it. 

[carlos]

It's very important to take into account the conscience of others. But I think there is a difference between people in the territory and our brothers in the congregation. There is also a difference between hurting someone's conscience and doing something they dislike.

 

If certain things offend people in our territory and prevent them from listening to our message, be it makeup, trousers, beards or something else, a mature Christian would sacrifice his right for the good of the territory. "To the weak I became weak, in order to gain the weak" (1 Corinthians 9:22).

 

Now if some in the congregation dislike those things the Slave has said are acceptable, because they are used to the old ways, I don't think we need to please those. They need to adapt. “Stop calling defiled the things God has cleansed” (Acts 10:15).

 

This doesn't mean we don't care about our brothers' consciences. I wouldn't drink alcohol if I am with a brother who is a former alcoholic. I wouldn't enter a church as a tourist if I go with a sister whose conscience doesn't allow her to do that. I don't want to hurt their conscience. But when we speak of details about appearance that really have no scriptural objection and the Slave has said are ok, there is no longer an issue of hurting consciences but rather of personal taste. A brother may dislike brown shoes but I don't need to yield to his likes.

 

 

 

[Exter]

38 minutes ago, carlos said:

It's very important to take into account the conscience of others. But I think there is a difference between people in the territory and our brothers in the congregation. There is also a difference between hurting someone's conscience and doing something they dislike.

 

If certain things offend people in our territory and prevent them from listening to our message, be it makeup, trousers, beards or something else, a mature Christian would sacrifice his right for the good of the territory. "To the weak I became weak, in order to gain the weak" (1 Corinthians 9:22).

 

Now if some in the congregation dislike those things the Slave has said are acceptable, because they are used to the old ways, I don't think we need to please those. They need to adapt. “Stop calling defiled the things God has cleansed” (Acts 10:15).

 

This doesn't mean we don't care about our brothers' consciences. I wouldn't drink alcohol if I am with a brother who is a former alcoholic. I wouldn't enter a church as a tourist if I go with a sister whose conscience doesn't allow her to do that. I don't want to hurt their conscience. But when we speak of details about appearance that really have no scriptural objection and the Slave has said are ok, there is no longer an issue of hurting consciences but rather of personal taste. A brother may dislike brown shoes but I don't need to yield to his likes.

 

 

 

doesn't mean we don't care about our brothers' consciences. I wouldn't drink alcohol if I am with a brother who is a former alcoholic. I wouldn't enter a church as a tourist if I go with a sister whose conscience doesn't allow her to do that. I don't want to hurt their conscience. But when we speak of details about appearance that really have no scriptural objection and the Slave has said are ok, there is no longer an issue of hurting consciences but rather of personal taste. A brother may dislike brown shoes but I don't need to yield to his like

 

yeah... year dear Bro. Better I can't say a summary

[Mike047]

It is a case of knowing when and what to adjust to minimise problems for our brothers and sisters. Some years back, when we met near a public house (pub), some of the brothers would go over there after the meeting for a chat. This included the congregation servant (shows how old this experience is). A sister who had moved to the area because of her husbands work took great exception to this, and challenged the brother with oversight, saying how disappointed she was. He listened to her, said he appreciated her courage in pointing this out, and told her that she would never see him coming out of that place again. She took comfort in believing that he no longer went to the pub after the meeting, and he along with others wen to another pub about 20 minutes away. Sometimes it is possible to adapt our preferences, not to loose out on our choice, but to minimise issues others have. Sometimes, though, it is the others who have to adapt to the preferences we have. 

[Sepie93]

It's very important to take into account the conscience of others. But I think there is a difference between people in the territory and our brothers in the congregation. There is also a difference between hurting someone's conscience and doing something they dislike.
 
If certain things offend people in our territory and prevent them from listening to our message, be it makeup, trousers, beards or something else, a mature Christian would sacrifice his right for the good of the territory. "To the weak I became weak, in order to gain the weak" (1 Corinthians 9:22).
 
Now if some in the congregation dislike those things the Slave has said are acceptable, because they are used to the old ways, I don't think we need to please those. They need to adapt. “Stop calling defiled the things God has cleansed” (Acts 10:15).
 
This doesn't mean we don't care about our brothers' consciences. I wouldn't drink alcohol if I am with a brother who is a former alcoholic. I wouldn't enter a church as a tourist if I go with a sister whose conscience doesn't allow her to do that. I don't want to hurt their conscience. But when we speak of details about appearance that really have no scriptural objection and the Slave has said are ok, there is no longer an issue of hurting consciences but rather of personal taste. A brother may dislike brown shoes but I don't need to yield to his likes.
 
 
 

I think I understand what you mean. There is indeed a difference between disliking something and someone stumbling. If someone dislikes something, that might be personal taste.

But when someone gets stumbled and you get aware of it, and I'm talking about dedicated brothers here, then Christian love should still motivate us to adapt.
Honestly, it would be quite hypocritical to adapt to help the field, but refuse it for brothers. ( I'm not saying you assumed that, though).

That is the whole point of 1 Corinthians chapter 8. If Acts 10 was to be applied to these kinds of situations, why did Paul give another, more loving way?
Actually, Acts chapter 10 is about a potential problem that could hinder Jehovah's purpose from being done: accepting Gentiles into the Christian congregation. So, it's clear why Jehovah said this.

These updates, though, are situations where you have people just dislike it, but there might also be a potential point where people get stumbled, like the situation in 1 Corinthians 8.
When you get confronted with that, instead of demanding these friends to "grow up" spiritually and get more "knowledge," we should adapt as Paul urges us to do.

Romans 14:19-21
So, then, let us pursue the things making for peace and the things that build one another up. Stop tearing down the work of God just for the sake of food. True, all things are clean, but it is detrimental for a man to eat when it will cause stumbling. It is best not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything over which your brother stumbles.





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[Sepie93]

 
Totally agree on this. 
 
However, I think it is up to an individual christian to make a decision to or not to wear a tie considering those sensitive ones in the congregation. 
Maybe because I am from a different culture, I find it a bit hard to understand when FDS lets us choose, why a BOE chooses for me? I haven’t read all the posts that say regarding BOE decisions. I hope I do not offend anyone by this post. I am just thankful BOE in my cong didn’t do it. 

I understand what you mean. Actually, in my culture (Dutch), we are very, very opinionated about almost everything. As Dutch, we HATE the phares: "You must do......". So naturally, it feels so wrong to me when the FDS says "choose," but the BOE says: well, in this particular congregation, we do it in this way.

But I'm learning that as long as there are no direct Bible principles in place, I remain quiet. Because in these cases, it is of no real importance, actually. The only importance is my individual responsibility to do my best to support unity in the congregation by supporting the elders while keeping the instructions of the FDS clear in mind.

(BTW.. this is how I really want to react.. but it's still a work in progress🫣)

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[kejedo]

I have heard there was a time when people didn't specifically speak about a feature, just, "Nice to see you." With updates on style choices, it is hard to not comment on new details. I stopped at a cart yesterday where two sisters wore slacks. One of the sisters is known for wearing extremely heavy fragrance. I would not be able to accept cart assignment with this dear one. It was quite windy and her perfume was still overwhelming, so I just stayed briefly. I'm not anticipating or predicting new updates, but would certainly like more information on fragrance choices.  I remember this sister saying people would know when she entered a bldg b/c her fragrance would precede her. And her fragrance is expensive so people's lungs should not get sick from it. Beards or slacks are not necessarily a health hazard to others. Sorry to be OT, but there are some choices that people may want to consider.  

[DancesWithWife]

6 hours ago, carlos said:

But I think there is a difference between people in the territory and our brothers in the congregation.

Excellent point. Many may be offended not by us personally but our message. I recall a time when my wife was in the hospital recovering from her stroke. I decided to walk around the hospital and found the chapel area. I went in just to see the room. When I opened the door a Muslim man was praying. I could tell I had offended him by interrupting his prayers. The look he gave me was just pure hate sadly. I apologized and said I meant no offense and walked out.

 

We live in a time when people are offended over just about everything. Fights at sporting events, fights at concerts. Fights over support of political agendas. Why are people so quickly offended nowadays? A brief article in Psychology Today had some interesting comments and insight. 

KEY POINTS

• People who push others' buttons are not always doing so intentionally or consciously.
• People might not know they've offended someone without realizing it until later or when the person brings it to their attention.
• People are often particularly sensitive to what they presume as criticism, abuse, or neglect.

 https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/202110/why-people-get-offended-so-easily

[Amygdala]

On 3/29/2024 at 12:32 PM, Sepie93 said:

there is a brother whom I know has difficulty with brothers having beards due to his background.
Now, this brother really tried to apply the instruction and really worked on his feelings. So after a chat with him, I decided that I could wear a beard with a clear conscience. But would it be Christ-like to wear a beard and stumble this brother? No

 

Wow, that’s a first for me. Can I ask what kind of background led this brother to become extremely bothered by beards or be as a possible stumbling block?

[Lee49]

47 minutes ago, Amygdala said:

Can I ask what kind of background led this brother to become extremely bothered by beards

this is what he said - 

"In the field I served, many viewed growing a beard as inappropriate. Why? Because it might be linked to the religion the majority of these people came from. In this religion, the beard can be viewed as a religious symbol. That's why some had strong feelings about it when brothers grew a beard."