Love or criticism?

[Qapla]

12 hours ago, Jnutcurl said:

I have never heard of a singles ball.  But, I like the sounds of it.  LOL. 

 

I was wondering what king if sport it is ... I have heard of football, baseball, basketball and a few others - how do you play singlesball?

[Friends just call me Ross]

29 minutes ago, Qapla said:

 

I was wondering what king if sport it is ... I have heard of football, baseball, basketball and a few others - how do you play singlesball?

You bounce it off the wall of the barn. 

[50gumbys]

Personally I think ice hockey should be included here!

It's not a ball - but it is round!

 

Can I just say - you guys have me in tears with your lovely and generous posts.

Thank you all. 

[GodlyDevotion]

There's something that separates us from Satan's world. It's our innate desire to accept our mistakes, learn and move on.. Only Jehovah's spirit can do that!

[Whitley M]

I think this is a great reminder, and just so everyone knows.. I LOVE U! 🥰

[Meditate!]

On 11/24/2018 at 5:28 AM, Jnutcurl said:

I have never heard of a singles ball.  But, I like the sounds of it.  LOL. 

So does Terri

 

[EccentricM]

On 11/22/2018 at 12:44 PM, blue-jay said:

 That's why I rarely post here anymore. 

And it often feels like there is kind of a gang mentality, especially if someone has a opinion that's different from the majority. They'll all jump you and try to show how ridiculous your opinion is. I don't need that. In person they probably wouldn't have the guts.

I share the same sentiment as others who have replied to you. I've not experienced this myself, but I'm sorry you've had such an experience! Perhaps some people are simply not aware of how they come across, and for many with strong opinions on topics, it's easy to become... "ethusisatic". I think is a common phenomom online today "in general" I've noticed in all of mankind. People are more critical today, and that's to be expected.

 

Hence, why the OP was posted, we all need reminders to not become a part of what surrounds us in the world.

[Benjamine]

I am happy that I am also part of this great forum. Thank you all my brothers and sisters.

[Willow]

Thank you brother for the excellent reminder! 

If you want to know the truth about criticism, in the mental health field, criticism is part of what we DONT ACCEPT ABOUT OURSELVES - we split off and toss it at someone else. So when a person criticizes someone for being a gossip - they themselves are unable to accept their own propensity to gossip (unfortunately, we all have it!) and want someone else to take this unsavory trait off of them.

 

In this way, a critical person reveals their own insecurities. Which helps us know how to help them. Pour on the positive commendation and heap those fiery coals! It's so awesome to watch an insecure, critical person melt into a puddle of "mushy goo" from being so appreciated and treated with love!

 

Love is always the answer. 

[Willow]

A tiny bit of understanding the psyche goes a long way toward helping with our interpersonal relationships. When you see a long time single person - who would rather be married - that person might be suffering from a serious attachment disorder. Imagine - sitting in the presence of an adult who didn't get to know the advantages of being attached to their parents as a baby. How sad and so much easier to give them love even when they say something unloving due to their inability to make healthy attachments.

 

The more we understand about what we are FEELING, the more empathy we develop.

[EccentricM]

47 minutes ago, Willow said:

, criticism is part of what we DONT ACCEPT ABOUT OURSELVES. We split off and toss it at someone else

At times it can be.. but not always. Typically it holds behaviour that is actively hypocritical too. That is a good measure of seeing if they are projecting. Typically it comes along when the claims they make are actually invalid. (For example, a stranger on the internet insulting people in various ways for no reason, and expressing lots of hostility may be projecting their own issues.)

 

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection

 

But, sometimes there is justified critisim too, for example when Jehovah disciplines, he sometimes criticises the wicked. So it's best not to blanket or label all people who may point out something. For example, I find gender non-binary stuff highly critiscisable (but I don't try to do it in an agressive form, but I express my thoughts on it), but I am not a person who secretly seeks to be a "non-binary". It often depends on how it's done.

 

Quote

So when a person criticizes someone for being a gossip - they themselves are unable to accept their own propensity to gossip

Thus, this might not be true. A person might point out that one's work mates are gossips and never gossip themselves about people. Apart from.. perhaps the irony that they are now talking about them being gossips (gossiping about gossipers?).. but that all comes down to how you define "gossip" and then just general critique that may be valid in general conversation.

 

 

It takes a lot of balance and a pinch of salt at times when appyling various schools of the psyche, because it can lead to great misjudgments. Combine the knowledge with a fair observance of a person and how they behave in general. Because it's true that some do project of course! I've observed it in people and have been a victim of being projected at and labled by people who want to see themselves in me via accusation, though what they said had no merits or proof. 

 

 

Edited December 8, 2018 by EccentricM

[Willow]

9 minutes ago, EccentricM said:

For example, I find gender non-binary stuff highly critiscisable (but I don't try to do it in an agressive form, but I express my thoughts on it), but I am not a person who secretly seeks to be a "non-binary"

Im sorry brother - my experience and knowledge disagree with your explanations. If you feel the need to criticize others who do something you disagree with, you have an internal fight with something about yourself related to the person's issue that you don't want to admit. You can find out what the issue is by examining, interviewing yourself - playing both sides of the issue. In 1 chair, yourself and your critique; in a facing chair, play the part of the person, thought, concept, etc. you are criticizing. Talk it out. You'll be amazed at what you may uncover about yourself.

[Willow]

19 minutes ago, EccentricM said:

A person might point out that one's work mates are gossips and never gossip themselves about people. Apart from.. perhaps the irony that they are now talking about them being gossips (gossiping about gossipers?).. but that all comes down to how you define "gossip" and then just general critique that may be valid in general conversation.

My brother, speaking in general about a group is not the same as gossiping about a single person. I was specifically referring to a person - let's say me - who accuses someone else - let's say you - for BEING a gossip. I am unable to accept my own inclination to gossip about others so I put that disowned part of me on someone else.

 

Gossip is a killer of relationships. And very prevelent today. If we understand that the gossip we are hearing about ourselves is actually the person who started it - their own recognition and refusal to accept the fact that they themselves are guilty of the criticism they just threw at someone else, we don't get as hurt, we know that this person needs help ACCEPTING their imperfections, we do this by "heaping fiery coals on their head", showering them with love and acceptance - in the end, we win our brother. 

 

This is how a little understanding of our psyche goes a long way in our relationships with our brothers and sisters.

[Willow]

36 minutes ago, EccentricM said:

sometimes there is justified critisim too, for example when Jehovah disciplines, he sometimes criticises the wicked. So it's best not to blanket or label all people who may point out something

Jehovah gets a free pass! 😘

I'm not speaking about necessary discipline my brother. I'm referring to a person criticizing another person.

[Willow]

On 11/24/2018 at 10:16 AM, Qapla said:

 

I was wondering what king if sport it is ... I have heard of football, baseball, basketball and a few others - how do you play singlesball?

By yourself!🤣

I think it is when you bounce a ball against the wall in your house, get yelled at, then put it away...by itself...and then you're all by yourself again...

[EccentricM]

26 minutes ago, Willow said:

If you feel the need to criticize others who do something you disagree with, you have an internal fight with something about yourself related to the person's issue that you don't want to admit

I think the main issue we have at hand is our "definition" of " criticise", as to me it means to "point out when something is wrong", as opposed to attack. As there is "constructive critisim" and "agressive" or critique that breaks down a person.

 

As you say

 

Quote

I'm not speaking about necessary discipline my brother. I'm referring to a person criticizing another person.

This I think was the main misunderstanding Language and semantics.

Edited December 8, 2018 by EccentricM

[Willow]

4 minutes ago, EccentricM said:

This I think was the main misunderstanding Language and semantics

I agree, my brother. Your points are totally valid in your context. 

[dove]

4 hours ago, Willow said:

By yourself!🤣

I think it is when you bounce a ball against the wall in your house, get yelled at, then put it away...by itself...and then you're all by yourself again...

Isn’t that like Racquetball?  🙂

[Benjamine]

We are a family and we have to care about each other. So if there is a misunderstanding or if there is an error, we have to help them find it in a friendly way, not by directly accusing(it may hurt the persons heart). In a loving way we have to correct them or we have to explain it to them. And we also have to accept mistakes from others and have to forgive. It is what Jesus said, to forgive one another. We are christians and we have to show it in our midst. And always have to think we all are imperfect and we all make mistakes and errors. 

[GriffTiff]

Thank you brother John for the loving reminders/"shepherding call"  vis a vis this encouraging post. I am a newer member but I remember reading a post when I first joined that said all of us here are baptized servants of Jehovah which means the world is trying to tear us down and we wouldn't want to even have a hint of that type of behavior with Jehovah's people. So I appreciate that this is a place where we can come to be uplifted and not torn down appreciated not downgraded loved not criticized. 

As with all reminders I will try in my imperfect state not to look to the left or the right for application but rather look at myself to see how I can apply. 

Much Love and Many Thanks ♥️

[dove]

17 hours ago, Willow said:

By yourself!🤣

I think it is when you bounce a ball against the wall in your house, get yelled at, then put it away...by itself...and then you're all by yourself again...

I played that all the time on my grandmother's house, until she yelled at me and I had to stop...