Why some of us are hesitant to recommend a specific mate is...
- because unlike recommending a car or job
- marriage is "sacred" and eternal in Jehovah's eyes
- so we want to be very, very careful in overly influencing, motivating, pressuring a brother/sister toward another mate, even if they are seeking recommendations.
However, we want to help our single sisters/brothers if they want/need.
But rather than recommending a specific person as a marriage mate
- we would try to recommend "qualities"
- the good spiritual and loving qualities we have observed in someone
- another single brother/sister we know well may have certain qualities our friend is seeking.
- so since our friend has asked for our help, it would be a kindness to share our observations
it is not carrying another person's "load" of responsibility to simply give some guidance and "recommend" qualities we observe in others. In the end, it is our friend who makes his/her own personal decision.
Are there any Bible examples that can help with the question of whether it is right or wrong to give some help/guidance to singles ones who seek a mate?
So a single brother/sister who is interested in finding a mate...
- may have to "inquire" of others, like the article mentioned.
- some single ones may need help from others in finding a mate because they find no one in their area
- or some may need help, not just finding any mate, but a good spiritual person.
- But what good would "inquiring" do if everyone "shut their door" to this single brother/sister?
- What if no one was willing to share any "favorable comments" about the qualities they have observed in another person to help their friend find a potential mate?
Yet, we still have to be very careful...
- influencing or pressuring our friend to marry someone we know
- our friend may view us like an "Uncle", "Big Brother", "Father Figure", "Big Sister", "Mother Figure" or we have a measure of authority in the congregation, and so any opinion, advice, recommendation we give to our friend, may have much more impact or influence on our friend's decisions than we could know!
Even if we feel a certain sister or brother would be a "good match"
- it is better if we are only recommending certain qualities we have seen.
- that is different than recommending a specific person for our friend to enter into a sacred marriage with!
So it is not "wrong" to help a single friend seeking help/guidance in finding a mate. However, as mentioned above, what will our recommendation be?
- To motivate our friend to marry our cousin or some brother/sister we know in another congregation?
- To try and quickly set up a "date", to be a "matchmaker"?
- Or to ask our friend what qualities are important to him/her?
- and to help them by sharing some good qualities we have observed in a "Ruth" or "Boaz"we know