Speaking disparagingly

[Tyrrha]

 

We need to be careful to not use this forum as an excuse to be a busybody (1 Peter 4:15) or to make ‘entertainment’ out of unrighteousness of others (1 Cor 13:6).

 

That being said, the GB and the scriptures make it quite plan with regards to conduct of others that concerns us, to PRIVATELY speak to the person, or PRIVATELY speak to the elders. 

 

Then, leave it in Jehovah and Jesus’ hands, and stop judging.

[Shawnster]

This is easy to do online, which is why we must take extra steps to make sure we are displaying the fruitage of the spirit here on JWTalk.  There is a trend or habit for people online to become snarky, overly sarcastic, and negative toward fellow members or online friends.  It's easy to say things that are rude and hurtful, comments that we would never say in real life in face-to-face conversation.  It's as if these individuals do not realize that their words posted here leave an indelible mark.  Unlike a conversation that is quickly forgotten, online communication can always be read again and again and again...

 

I've seen comments here that make me glad I'm not in the same congregation with that individual.  Comments that have come across as rude or unloving.  I know that isn't the spirit the comment was intended, but it's a wake up call that we should be extra cautious about how we word replies.  Always gracious and seasoned with salt.  

 

 

[Lance]

Well there is always a balance with our communication  style...that is a bit of a challenge at times....

We all have issues, problems and triumphant successes in life... 

The Bible is full of life experiences that have been shared with us... for the benefit of all. Some of those experiences came at the cost of ones’ egos and  loss of face at that time. 

The difference is that the Bible is inspired and ours ....well.... are not.

So when it comes to sharing or commenting on this forum.... we have to be careful that we are not keyboard warriors, putting errant brothers and sisters in “ their place” or what we may figure as their designated place. 

So usually the backspace button is a great tool when the figurative hairs on the back of our neck start to stand up in some form of righteousness indignation on our part.... We all suffer from foot in mouth syndrome at times ...  so gentleness is always greatly appreciated .... it is a healing balm...

Edited January 4, 2019 by Lance

[Qapla]

In addition to the WAY we express our self on the forum - I think Tyrrha was including WHAT WE TALK ABOUT on the forum.

 

At times, there may be a question posed for discussion that may border on the "private" side of a situation ... questions asked or situation described that, if we were asked the same thing by a publisher IN OUR CONGREGATION, we would most likely tell them they need to go to that person or talk to the elders ... we would not ask them for additional information or try to give an opinion. In fact, we may even interrupt them before they even finish what they were going to say and tell then we do not need to hear any more. However, on a forum like this, we continue to read the entire post and then, at times, feel compelled to make a comment (or two, three, four) and then keep the discussion going.

 

When a post concerns something that should remain private - perhaps we should just say that and not discuss it any longer.

[Stormswift]

The funny thing is this type of situation (the busybody thingee) is exactly the situation that came up for me in real life recently.

 

I was working with a sister and she was complaining about the 'negative spirit' in our congregation ... this surprised me because I thought the spirit in our congregation was really good and the sisters she hinted at I had also associated with and didn't find them negative at all. I started wondering if I was missing something - I was.

 

When I worked it out it was because this sister was being negative herself! Because I'm a somewhat positive person I tend not to see the negative things or things perceived as negative when they aren't.

 

So I think this is key ... is to be positive yourself , keep tweaking your own outlook and you tend to see the good things in other people not the ugly or negative things. It takes work and perhaps some are new in the truth are still working on this aspect, but its really worth working on ... because when you read things on a forum like this ... unless it's in your face bad or has violated a scriptural principle you go away thinking oh that person was having a bad day - or the issue isn't that big a deal - they'll move on.

 

Remember to think: Is it going to matter in a 1000 years, in a 100? or even in ten? 99.99% of things we get upset with are trival.

Until this thread I had NO idea about the busybody issue and I read at least most of the threads when I can. 

 

Oh and I was talking to a brother the other night he gave me a quip that I find excellent. "Spiritual people don't get offended - they just move on"  Something for me to ponder and apply in my life.

 

Edited January 5, 2019 by Stormswift

[Hanah45]

I like that comment, “ spiritual people don’t get offended, they move on”.  I am going to examine mysel and apply this principle. 

[Miss Bea]

Sometimes I feel like I have walked into a personal conversation. That I did not want to hear. And, sometimes, it scares me. This site is precious, and if it gets out of hand...

i know our dear moderators try to keep us rounded up. But, to me, it’s like with the elders. They mean so much. They do so much for us. Cooperate with the program! 

Just try to be Kind!

[vern]

8 hours ago, Tyrrha said:

‘entertainment’ out of unrighteousness of others

i knew an elder that did this when i first came into the truth before baptism....  I knew it was wrong for him to do.....

Jesus said if you call someone a dispicable fool  or in other words judge them... that you become liable to Gehenna.... so its very serious how we use our tongues or fingers....

Romans 11:25-33 also says Jehovah will let some be disobediant for a time even though he plans to give them mercy later....... think about that for a few days and tell me that doesn't adjust attitudes....

some are so willing to judge after 1 offense of some kind real or imagined.... not very christian..... not very christian at all.... But Jesus said some will kill you and imagine they are doing Gods will....

[Stormswift]

 That was an interesting phrase used "Entertainment out of unrighteousness of others."

That is certainly in line with the scripture in 1 Cor 13:6  - Love ....  It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth

 

But entertainment is a very 'loose' termonology to use ... as someone's bad example can also teach us lessons, more often than not, they are or become very public. When we read the scriptures are we entertained? Yes, in parts, but also there are some very sobering experiences such as King David and many others, Abigails husband who was abusive. Now when we hear of these examples, are we entertained by them, or are we learning from them - only each one knows the answer to that.

 

I put this experience from the Talk - Joy of Angels by Brother Chris Warner in another thread, but I think it also applies to this thread as well ... sometimes we find ourselves in situations that just shouldn't happen, but they do ... so our reaction is key to how it plays out. Remember Joseph could have retaliated or sought revenge for what his brothers did to him, but he didn't and because he didn't his example helped and continues to help  many today.

 

Anyway here is the experience from the talk:

" Now, here is the experience of one sister, now she was an active publisher in the congregation, doing well, well seemingly doing well,  and she had a good friend, and her friend had a husband. And the husband was an elder in the congregation. Well one day, her friend came to her and confessed that her husband had been unfaithful. Well of course, she encouraged her friend she said, "Well you should try and encourage him to go to the brothers, try to get this matter cleared up." You know, well, he wouldn't do it, then she encouraged her friend, "You should go to the brothers, you should do that." Well, her friend wouldn't go to the brothers either. Well now she realized she had a moral obligation herself because she knew about this. And so, she went to the brothers. And a big thing came up there was a case  and she was called in as a witness to explain what she had been told. Well, during that case, the friend and the husband denied everything. Absolutely, totally denied it all. What was it like for her after that? Well, she was kind of viewed as an outcast in the congregation after that. Like a trouble maker. In fact, it was hard for her to get talks on the school, it was hard for her to get commented on, - called on when she was trying to comment. People didn't talk to her, the elders didn't talk to her, but you know what? She just kept going. She kept going out on service. She kept up her personal study. She kept praying. She just kept going like that old widow. Now, years later, the truth came out. And her former friend and her husband were both disfellowshipped. Removed from God's congregation. She had been vindicated. But you know? Only one elder ever came up to her and said that he was sorry for what had happened. Only one brother ever did that. Now, that whole situation was not necessary was it? That wasn't necessary. But, the point was, she had to deal with it. There was no way around it, she had to deal with it. And you know? It trained her to be a better Christian"

 

 

[window2Paradise]

47 minutes ago, vern said:

i knew an elder that did this when i first came into the truth before baptism....  I knew it was wrong for him to do.....

Jesus said if you call someone a dispicable fool  or in other words judge them... that you become liable to Gehenna.... so its very serious how we use our tongues or fingers....

Romans 11:25-33 also says Jehovah will let some be disobediant for a time even though he plans to give them mercy later....... think about that for a few days and tell me that doesn't adjust attitudes....

some are so willing to judge after 1 offense of some kind real or imagined.... not very christian..... not very christian at all.... But Jesus said some will kill you and imagine they are doing Gods will....

the thread is about not speaking against people. And here it is happening  and speaking against those taking the lead, placed in position by Jehovah.

[Stormswift]

1 minute ago, window2Paradise said:

the thread is about not speaking against people. And here it is happening  and speaking against those taking the lead, placed in position by Jehovah.

No he's merely stated what has happened and his conclusions and how he's learnt from it. 

[Zephyr]

Wow.

 

Love is the key. Things will get harder. Love will grow colder. Live and let live. 

 

Spiritual people move on...I like that ...like water off a ducks back. 

[jwhess]

I like the multi-part video we had at a RC a couple of years ago.  It had the same people at the same KH and we followed the individuals around on camera.  There was the sister wnating to use the hall for a wedding, there was the sister who didn't get invited to a gathering and so on.  At the end, one of the sisters wanted to talk about a disfellowshipped person.  The other sister reminded her of Paul's words when he said, "(1 Cor 13:4-6)...Love is patient and kind. ...It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth".

 

We should find no pleasure in recounting the spiritual disasters of others just for the sake of seeing their plight.  We are not entertained by such "titillating"  gossip.

[Saffron]

 

What I normally see is people discussing scriptures, talks, the ministry, and sometimes problems with other people. But this seems to be to ask for advice, not for any kind of enjoyment. Dealing with people and difficult situations can be really challenging sometimes. It's nice to be able to run situations  by others for advice or a new perspective. There is great wisdom on the forum and I can say for a fact that I have personally benefited from it. 

 

Now occasionally there will be someone who seems to be maybe getting into things that maybe should not be their concern, but other members usually inform them of this. Perhaps they didn't realize, now they do. Live and learn. 

 

I'm quite active on this forum, but perhaps I have missed something? 

[jwhess]

6 hours ago, Saffron said:

 

What I normally see is people discussing scriptures, talks, the ministry, and sometimes problems with other people. But this seems to be to ask for advice, not for any kind of enjoyment. Dealing with people and difficult situations can be really challenging sometimes. It's nice to be able to run situations  by others for advice or a new perspective. There is great wisdom on the forum and I can say for a fact that I have personally benefited from it. 

 

Now occasionally there will be someone who seems to be maybe getting into things that maybe should not be their concern, but other members usually inform them of this. Perhaps they didn't realize, now they do. Live and learn. 

 

I'm quite active on this forum, but perhaps I have missed something? 

Sr. Saffron, may it always be so...❤️