A good joke

[daydream]

53 minutes ago, MikkiSoo said:

 

 

 

I have not come across such a name for an Indian but the name Anal can be a name for a female. It means fire in Hindi. So it's not weird in that sense but English meaning is gross. The spelling is weird but it's pronounced as Atal.  
So don't gag if you're suddenly introduced to a person with such a name. 

 

[dilip kumar]

It's pronounced as  anoos. 

The language is Tamil. 

 

[pnutts]

SURGERY
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to
each other, outside the operating room.

 

The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"

 

The second kid says, "I'm in here  to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."

 

The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had
that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you
wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze!"
 
The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"

 

The first kid says, "A circumcision."

 

And the second kid says,

 

"Whoa! I  had that done when I was born. couldn't walk for a year!"

[pnutts]

My Mom Taught Me:
1. Religion..."You better pray that comes
out of the carpet."
2.Logic. "Because I said so, that's why"
3. Irony  "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about"
4. Wisdom "When you get to be my age you'll understand"
5.  Justice "One day you'll have kids, I hope they turn out just like you!!"

plus others

6. Serves you right.
7. Get a grip!
8. I hope you have 10 kids just like you!
9. What's wrong with you???
10. You'll miss me when I'm gone one day, trust me.
11. You are driving me out of my mind.
12. I'm telling your father!
13. Don't make me pull this car over!
14. It's all mine until you're 18, deal with it.
15. I'm not asking you, I'm TELLING you.
16. I don't care what the other kids' parents said, I said no.
17. If all of your friends jumped off a bridge, would you??
18. I am NOT a referee in this house!

[pnutts]

Not My Job

 

 

[walkr2]

On 4/23/2019 at 7:02 PM, pnutts said:

My Mom Taught Me:
1. Religion..."You better pray that comes
out of the carpet."
2.Logic. "Because I said so, that's why"
3. Irony  "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about"
4. Wisdom "When you get to be my age you'll understand"
5.  Justice "One day you'll have kids, I hope they turn out just like you!!"

plus others

6. Serves you right.
7. Get a grip!
8. I hope you have 10 kids just like you!
9. What's wrong with you???
10. You'll miss me when I'm gone one day, trust me.
11. You are driving me out of my mind.
12. I'm telling your father!
13. Don't make me pull this car over!
14. It's all mine until you're 18, deal with it.
15. I'm not asking you, I'm TELLING you.
16. I don't care what the other kids' parents said, I said no.
17. If all of your friends jumped off a bridge, would you??
18. I am NOT a referee in this house!

Lol....This is all so true!

[ChrisC]

[kejedo]

3 hours ago, ChrisC said:

            My personal French couture is designed by Toulouse and Toolong. 

[daydream]

[Friends just call me Ross]

This isn't a joke, but I thought it was pretty funny. 

 

Spoiler

How do I set a laser printer to stun?

 

[Pjdriver]

1 hour ago, Friends just call me Ross said:

This isn't a joke, but I thought it was pretty funny. 

 

  Hide contents

How do I set a laser printer to stun?

 

Sounds like a joke to me. 

[kejedo]

Not a joke: One reason I'm glad I live in a different state than my sibs and cousins is that they have a hard time trying to remember why I do not observe the same holidays that they do. I could never get any of them to possibly comprehend why any one would not celebrate tomorrow, which they refer to as Cinco de Drinko 🍹🍹🍺🥂 

[Qapla]

What's odd here in Florida ... a state that has a good many Cubans and Puerto Ricans, is that they now celebrate a Mexican Holiday
 

It has only been recently that Cinco De Mayo has become so big here

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On a side note - Today is Star Wars Day

Edited May 5, 2019 by Qapla

[pnutts]

Yesterday was officially named Star Wars day in California. "May the Fourth be with you.

 

However today, the fifth

 

in honor of  Spanish in Florida

 

 

Edited May 5, 2019 by pnutts
spelling

[Qapla]

2 hours ago, pnutts said:

in honor of  Spanish in Florida

 

Why those in Florida?

 

It is a celebration from Mexico - not Cuba or Puerto Rico

[dilip kumar]

Husband: Last night in your sleep you were using abusive language against me.
Wife: That was your imagination.
Husband: What imagination?
Wife: That i was asleep

Sent from my Infinix X572 using Tapatalk

[pnutts]

2 hours ago, Qapla said:

Why those in Florida?

 

17 hours ago, Qapla said:

What's odd here in Florida ... a state that has a good many Cubans and Puerto Ricans, is that they now celebrate a Mexican Holiday

😼

[pnutts]

1 hour ago, dilip kumar said:

Wife: That i was asleep

My wife snickered at that.

[pnutts]

I can get away with blond jokes because I am a blue eyed Was blond.

[dilip kumar]

You can... 

[Old]

46 minutes ago, dilip kumar said:

You can... 

 

Please, You didn't list the phone number!

[dilip kumar]

Our branches are thru out the world. Sirrrrr. Pls search it out. 😂😂

Edited May 6, 2019 by dilip kumar

[kejedo]

On 5/2/2019 at 11:00 PM, Pjdriver said:

Sounds like a joke to me. 

But seriously, How do you? Is it on YouTube? 

[Pjdriver]

8 hours ago, Old said:

Please, You didn't list the phone number!

1-800- you’re-dreaming

[kejedo]

On 10/15/2018 at 6:37 AM, Pjdriver said:

I noticed the suits are all different, but the numbers are the same....in the first instance there were 2-6s, 2-7s, 2- 8s.     I chose the 8.  In the second instance all the numbers were there except one of the 8s. Der    

All the cards were different so whatever you picked would not appear in the second display. 

Edited May 10, 2019 by kejedo