A Letter From The Research Department

[palmhat]

-

Edited November 18, 2013 by palmhat

[palmhat]

“Sure God created man before woman, but then again you always make a rough draft before creating the final masterpiece.”

I was told that God made man before woman because he didn't want to be told how to do it right.

[Lilac Isosceles]

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

 

 

Your dog of course. He will be quiet once you let him in.   

[Roselyn]

Those volumns will never ever be finished lol

[palmhat]

And this is because.....?

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I717 using Tapatalk

[Lilac Isosceles]

If a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it. 

[GStorrs46]

    The piece is a riot ! For any who have struggled trying to understand the mind of our sisters, you will

appreciate the pricelessness of this "letter". For those of you who have not, well you are in for a rude

awakening. However , in fairness, the sisters have the same problem with the brothers. Especially elders

who keep telling their wives they are going to have a "short" elder's meeting.

 

                                                                                                                                          GStorrs46

[Qapla]

   ...  in fairness, the sisters have the same problem with the brothers. Especially elders

who keep telling their wives they are going to have a "short" elder's meeting.

 

                                                                                                                                          GStorrs46

 

We have an Elder in our Hall who is close to 7'.... we also have several that are under 5'6" I asked him if he feels left out when there is a "short Elders meeting" .... he told me the short Elders usually want him to still attend.

[2EVES]

 that was brilliant!  but,,,my response is  

[2EVES]

 that was brilliant!  but,,,my response is  

[Buddy]

Can you make this a little bit bigger so that we can see what it says

[2EVES]

I'm cleaning out my emails...forgot i had this, can't recall where i copied it from. Has any read this before?

 

Here is a small disclaimer: Any sisters who read the following please do not be offended. It is meant purely as a joke. I love all of my faithful sisters very much and look forward to spending eternity understanding how your minds work.  Just as I am sure you look forward to understanding us.  If you don't have a sense of humour... don't keep reading.   

 

 

 

 

Dear Brothers,

 

                       We regret to inform you that the much awaited release of the publication 'Insight on the Sisters' has once again been delayed. Although well-meaning researchers originally envisioned that this publication would be released in two volumes, they humbly admit that further research on the subject, and a desire to cover the subject both fully and accurately, has led them to the conclusion that this publication will require more than was at first thought. Work is currently in progress on Volume 23. It is felt that rather than release this publication progressively, as some might suggest, it would be better to release it as a complete reference work. While doing research on the later volumes of this work some of the earlier volumes have been seen to require revisions. This has been a contributing factor in the decision to delay the release until the work is completed.

 

  As we are unable at this point in time to announce an expected release date for this new publication, we suggest that you continue using our earlier publications on this subject as listed below:

 

 

Studies on the Sisters                 This seven volume work has proved most beneficial in providing

                                                    a basic understanding of the subject. While it has to be recognised

                                                    that some of the information in these volumes has proved to be

                                                    inaccurate, our current understanding is best portrayed in the

                                                    seventh volume of this series, 'The Finished Mystery'.  

 

 

Reasoning with the Sisters         This field tested publication continues to be our most useful and

                                                    practical publication. While the sections 'Introductions' and 'How

                                                    You Might Respond to Potential Conversation Stoppers' have

                                                    proved most beneficial, we urge you also to become familiar with

                                                    the section towards the end of the book entitled 'Brothers' Quotes

                                                    Most Often Misapplied'.   

 

 

Tracts                                         Wife in a Peaceful New Earth, Why You Can Trust Brothers,   

                                                    What Hope For Single Sisters?and, Who Really Rules theHousehold? 

 

 

Brochures                                  What is the Purpose of a Wife? and Do Brothers Really Care?   

 

 

  On a more positive note, we are pleased to announce that the first of a series of three new books is due for release later this year. It is believed that this book, 'Questions Sisters Ask - What They Really Mean', will provide much help in the difficult task of understanding sisters. The other two books in the series, Questions Sisters Ask- How to Cope' and 'Questions Sisters Ask - Answers That May Work', are expected to be released sometime next year.  

 

 

 

P.S. 

 

 

When offering the tract "Wife in a Peaceful New World" we could ask a thought provoking question. What did the first perfect man, the strongest man and the wisest imperfect man have in common? Then we can show them Genesis 3:12, Judges 16:15-17 and 1 Kings 11:4. The conclusion we come to is that all of them had nagging wives and they all caved in which brought God's disfavor. Please be assured of our on-going and diligent efforts in your behalf.

 

                                          

 

 

                                                                                                  Your Brothers,

                                                                                                  Research Department  

 

[1gemstone]

    

[2EVES]

    

I know, that's how i feel...no matter how many times i read it.

[2EVES]

 

I'm cleaning out my emails...forgot i had this, can't recall where i copied it from. Has any read this before?

 

Here is a small disclaimer: Any sisters who read the following please do not be offended. It is meant purely as a joke. I love all of my faithful sisters very much and look forward to spending eternity understanding how your minds work.  Just as I am sure you look forward to understanding us.  If you don't have a sense of humour... don't keep reading.   

 

 

 

 

Dear Brothers,

 

                       We regret to inform you that the much awaited release of the publication 'Insight on the Sisters' has once again been delayed. Although well-meaning researchers originally envisioned that this publication would be released in two volumes, they humbly admit that further research on the subject, and a desire to cover the subject both fully and accurately, has led them to the conclusion that this publication will require more than was at first thought. Work is currently in progress on Volume 23. It is felt that rather than release this publication progressively, as some might suggest, it would be better to release it as a complete reference work. While doing research on the later volumes of this work some of the earlier volumes have been seen to require revisions. This has been a contributing factor in the decision to delay the release until the work is completed.

 

  As we are unable at this point in time to announce an expected release date for this new publication, we suggest that you continue using our earlier publications on this subject as listed below:

 

 

Studies on the Sisters                 This seven volume work has proved most beneficial in providing

                                                    a basic understanding of the subject. While it has to be recognised

                                                    that some of the information in these volumes has proved to be

                                                    inaccurate, our current understanding is best portrayed in the

                                                    seventh volume of this series, 'The Finished Mystery'.  

 

 

Reasoning with the Sisters         This field tested publication continues to be our most useful and

                                                    practical publication. While the sections 'Introductions' and 'How

                                                    You Might Respond to Potential Conversation Stoppers' have

                                                    proved most beneficial, we urge you also to become familiar with

                                                    the section towards the end of the book entitled 'Brothers' Quotes

                                                    Most Often Misapplied'.   

 

 

Tracts                                         Wife in a Peaceful New Earth, Why You Can Trust Brothers,   

                                                    What Hope For Single Sisters?and, Who Really Rules theHousehold? 

 

 

Brochures                                  What is the Purpose of a Wife? and Do Brothers Really Care?   

 

 

  On a more positive note, we are pleased to announce that the first of a series of three new books is due for release later this year. It is believed that this book, 'Questions Sisters Ask - What They Really Mean', will provide much help in the difficult task of understanding sisters. The other two books in the series, Questions Sisters Ask- How to Cope' and 'Questions Sisters Ask - Answers That May Work', are expected to be released sometime next year.  

 

 

 

P.S. 

 

 

When offering the tract "Wife in a Peaceful New World" we could ask a thought provoking question. What did the first perfect man, the strongest man and the wisest imperfect man have in common? Then we can show them Genesis 3:12, Judges 16:15-17 and 1 Kings 11:4. The conclusion we come to is that all of them had nagging wives and they all caved in which brought God's disfavor. Please be assured of our on-going and diligent efforts in your behalf.

 

                                          

 

 

                                                                                                  Your Brothers,

                                                                                                  Research Department  

 

[Qapla]

There is already a long thread on this "email/subject" - there are even pictures

Edited March 28, 2015 by Qapla

[2EVES]

There is already a long thread on this "email/subject" - there are even pictures

 As i stated..i couldn't recall where i had copied it from. Looks like i got it from here, when i first joined back in December. Losing it...pray for me yall     Can the moderators remove this post?

Edited March 28, 2015 by YTONEY93

[MizPeg]

 

[Musky]

Merged the two topics on this.

Edited March 28, 2015 by Musky

[Lilac Isosceles]

I took a detour and ended up here. Can someone please throw some cold water on my face? I think I'm having an episode.

Or am I................?

[Lilac Isosceles]

How long, O Jehovah, do I have to wait for this most anticipated release? I will quietly wait. I know it won't be late!

Edited October 12, 2015 by Purple Triangle

[Lance]

Sorry no release .. Research dept. got closed down .. For the survival of the male species

[Qapla]

This publication may be part of the downsizing

[Lilac Isosceles]

This publication may be part of the downsizing

Maybe this publication will form part of the "new scrolls".

Edited October 14, 2015 by Purple Triangle

[Tortuga]

Maybe this publication will from part of the "new scrolls".

 

I heard we might not have any technology in the New System but would it be too much to ask if I can have my copy of the New Scrolls wrapped around a rolling pin? It just seems like they would be so much easier to unroll that way...