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The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
 

:uhhuh:

Macaw.gif.7e20ee7c5468da0c38cc5ef24b9d0f6d.gifRoss

Nobody has to DRIVE me crazy.5a5e0e53285e2_Nogrinning.gif.d89ec5b2e7a22c9f5ca954867b135e7b.gif  I'm close enough to WALK. 5a5e0e77dc7a9_YESGrinning.gif.e5056e95328247b6b6b3ba90ddccae77.gif

 

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The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed

Daydream -

Scientists have discovered that daydreaming is an important tool for creativity. It causes a rush of activity in a circuit, which connects different parts of the brain and allows the mind to make new associations.

 

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On 7/12/2019 at 5:47 PM, Tortuga said:

Which fast food restaurant has the shiniest corn?

 

Colonel Sanders...

The American pronunciation of Colonel is Kernel. Corn kernel sander...:facepalmpo2:

CAUTION: The comments above may contain personal opinion, speculation, inaccurate information, sarcasm, wit, satire or humor, let the reader use discernment...:D

 

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On 7/12/2019 at 8:47 PM, Tortuga said:

Which fast food restaurant has the shiniest corn?

 

Colonel Sanders...

 

As Red Skelton used to say: “I didn’t get it either.” Or “it takes a while.”

 

1 hour ago, Tortuga said:

The American pronunciation of Colonel is Kernel. Corn kernel sander...:facepalmpo2:

 

Got it now. 😁

Isaiah 33:24  "And no resident will say: “I am sick.”

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  • 4 weeks later...

How does Moses make his coffee?

Hebrews it.

 

If you need an Ark, I Noah guy.

 

 

Who was the biggest financial wizard in the Bible?

Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

 

How long did Cain hate his brother?

As long as he was Abel.

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GYM KITTY

Q: What did the gym coach say to the cat?

A: Have you paid your annual fleas?

https://www.rd.com/jokes/cat-puns/


Edited by M'Awan

Daydream -

Scientists have discovered that daydreaming is an important tool for creativity. It causes a rush of activity in a circuit, which connects different parts of the brain and allows the mind to make new associations.

 

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Just now, M'Awan said:

GYM KITTY

Q: What did the gym coach say to the cat?

A: Have you paid your annual fleas?

https://www.rd.com/jokes/cat-puns/

Is that a flea from Babylon the Great? 

CAUTION: The comments above may contain personal opinion, speculation, inaccurate information, sarcasm, wit, satire or humor, let the reader use discernment...:D

 

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Solving the Mystery of Babylon the Great  Didn't use Frontline, eh?

Daydream -

Scientists have discovered that daydreaming is an important tool for creativity. It causes a rush of activity in a circuit, which connects different parts of the brain and allows the mind to make new associations.

 

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I just came across an old favoriteof mine:

 

 The gum-chewing girl,

 And the cud-chewing cow

 Are somewhat alike,

Yet different somehow.

And what is that difference?

I think I know now,

It's the intelligent look, 

On the face of the cow.

 I am not sying I am Superman, I am only saying that nobody has ever seen Superman  and me in a room together.

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farm animal eating GIF by Archives of Ontario | Archives publiques de l'Ontario

 

Ya, Very intelligent indeed!


Edited by M'Awan

Daydream -

Scientists have discovered that daydreaming is an important tool for creativity. It causes a rush of activity in a circuit, which connects different parts of the brain and allows the mind to make new associations.

 

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:facepalmpo2:   

 

 

 

 

 

 

BTW - I only used the "confused" emoji for the face it has - since we don't have a "eyeroll" react emoji


Edited by Qapla

"Let all things take place decently and by arrangement."
~ 1 Corinthians 14:40 ~

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Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

Spoiler

so they can hide in cherry trees.

 

Spoiler

Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?

 

No?

 

Spoiler

well then,  it must work pretty good then!

 


Edited by Vinnie

The one showing favor to the lowly is lending to Jehovah

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A Comprehensive Guide to Brummie Slang

Quote

Ark at that – listen to that!

 

Daydream -

Scientists have discovered that daydreaming is an important tool for creativity. It causes a rush of activity in a circuit, which connects different parts of the brain and allows the mind to make new associations.

 

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