Is it okay for couples to live in separate rooms?

[Hotteok]

Not in separate houses, of course, but separate rooms?

The Bible does not limit or confine us to some boundary or space when it comes to this matter..

But I think some couples might be living in separate rooms.

Is it good? or Is it bad? Why? 

[Dages]

Why would a married couple would want that ?

Is the snoring that loud ?  

[Hotteok]

4 minutes ago, Dages said:

Why would a married couple would want that ?

Is the snoring that loud ?  

Um... It's just that I know a couple of couples have been living in separate rooms.. Snoring and other privacy issues.

I don't know. If I ever marry, I think it'd be good to live separately so that I could enjoy some privacy.. 

Why would I need privacy though? From my wife? I don't know.. In my unmarried imagination, having my own space and time still sounds nice and 

ever having some me-time, re-uniting with her again each time sounds more like a marriage life.. than having to spend 24/7 with her. 

Not that it's bad.. just that ..could it be one of the normal options in the NW? 

[Thesauron]

It is true that some have felt that it is a good solution to some issues they might have. Snoring, or other sleep-related issues might be some such issues, not simply because they can’t stand each another or maintain a grudge. It isn’t wrong. A couple can still have a good married life. It is their business only.

[Loopy]

My dad had severe arthritis which naturally created a lot of pain. It got so bad mom went to one of the spare rooms.

 

His snoring could cause an earthquake as well. 😁😁😁

 

[Wanda Hill]

My parents and my sister and her hubby all slept/sleep apart. It was for comfort during sleeping hours..No problem for either of their marriages.

[carlos]

This is a completely personal matter. Some couples may decide to sleep in separate rooms for a wealth of reasons and it's no one's business. That doesn't necessarily mean there is a problem in their marriage.

 

Interestingly, Genesis 24:67 mentions Sarah's tent, separate from Abraham's, that was later used by Rebekah when Isaac married her. Genesis 31:33 also shows that in Jacob family every one of the wives had a separate tent, one for Rachel, one for Leah, and one for each of the two slaves Zilpah and Bilhah.

 

 

Edited January 1, 2021 by carlos

[Friends just call me Ross]

4 hours ago, VisualizeUrParadise said:

some me-time, re-uniting with her again each time sounds more like a marriage life.. than having to spend 24/7 with her. 

Yeah.  It's called a job.  You go to work.  You come home.  You go to work.  You come home.

Get to separate and reunite every work day.    

[Ahuvah]

My husband and I do ... and we have never been closer  emotionally. 

Crumbs imagine King Solomon sharing a bed with all his wives. 

 

Reasons MAY be the following ... I plead the fifth as to our reasons. 

SNORING 

WATCHING BORING TRAIN MOVIES INCLUDING THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE

MISSING BLANKETS

COUGHING FITS ON PART OF WIFE

READING WITH LIGHT ON 

NOISY NEIGHBOURS .. BASKETBALL AT MIDNIGHT

PROBABLY MANY OTHER REASONS. 

 

 

Edited January 1, 2021 by Stormswift

[Leon J]

Wife and I may have separate rooms sometime in the future. we have 5 bedrooms and not really thinking about selling anytime soon.

 

Since the kids left it's been more of a thing. If I don't wear my CPAP mask i can disrupt her sleep. She also has nights where she wakes me with her snoring or movement.

 

She already has 2 rooms for her clothing and knickknacks. I turned one of the rooms into my home office and keep my clothes in there for now. 

 

I'm guessing it's just a natural progression of getting older and having the space to do such.

Wife's parents had separate rooms for a while. they don't now. My parents had separate beds in the early 70's. when I asked about it over the years I got different answers. "don't want any more kids", "couldn't afford a king size", etc. Wasn't till later I learned my dad had PTSD from his time in Vietnam and would wake up swinging his arms and fighting everything in sight. They were protecting themselves. 

Dad died this year. Hope to see  him in the new world and get to know him without all the baggage of his childhood and his war experience.

 

Edited January 1, 2021 by Leon J

[Ahuvah]

4 minutes ago, Leon J said:

I'm guessing it's just a natural progression of getting older and having the space to do such.

Big reason. Having the house to yourselves is like living in a motel why not spread out and enjoy ourselves we've earned it.

 

So glad we have the resurrection hope won't be long I'm sure before you see your dad again. So sorry to hear of his death. Much love.

[Tia]

Since the pandemic - I know of a few that sleep apart - those ones whom are 

employed in the essential work area(s) 

[EccentricM]

9 hours ago, Dages said:

Why would a married couple would want that ?

Is the snoring that loud ?  

 

9 hours ago, VisualizeUrParadise said:

Not in separate houses, of course, but separate rooms?

The Bible does not limit or confine us to some boundary or space when it comes to this matter..

But I think some couples might be living in separate rooms.

Is it good? or Is it bad? Why? 

My sister and her husband sleep in seperate rooms, yet their marriage is perfect. The reason is because my brother in law has sensitive hearing (I mean he even has to take the batteries out all the clocks and wrist watches in the house or they'll keep him awake), and my sister makes clicking noises in her sleep and moves around, and it irritates him too much to sleep, that and in general he likes his own space in that time, he doesn't like being leaned on, compressed or what have you in general (unless in the mood), for example if I stand behind the sofa he's sitting on and lean by him, or if I'm sitting next to him, he has to tell me to give him room or he feels phyically agitated.

Edited January 1, 2021 by EccentricM

[Qapla]

10 hours ago, VisualizeUrParadise said:

Not in separate houses, of course, but separate rooms?

...

But I think some couples might be living in separate rooms.

 

I guess it all depends on what you call "living" in separate rooms. 

 

Just because a couple may sleep in separate rooms, does that constitute "living" in separate rooms?

Do they:

• eat together?
• talk with each other and discuss their day?
• have family worship?
• watch TV together?
• spend time with each other?

OR

 

Do they:

• fix their own meals and eat in their room?
• only talk if they happen to see each other?
• study alone in their room?
• each have their own TV and watch it in their room?
• live separate lives that do not intersect?

There is a big difference in "living in separate rooms" and having your own bed -

 

 

BTW - in case you are wondering, we have a  and have shared it for 40 years ... still do   

[Hotteok]

6 minutes ago, Qapla said:

 

I guess it all depends on what you call "living" in separate rooms. 

 

Just because a couple may sleep in separate rooms, does that constitute "living" in separate rooms?

Do they:

• eat together?
• talk with each other and discuss their day?
• have family worship?
• watch TV together?
• spend time with each other?

OR

 

Do they:

• fix their own meals and eat in their room?
• only talk if they happen to see each other?
• study alone in their room?
• each have their own TV and watch it in their room?
• live separate lives that do not intersect?

There is a big difference in "living in separate rooms" and having your own bed -

 

 

BTW - in case you are wondering, we have a  and have shared it for 40 years ... still do   

I guess somewhere in the middle.. 

the feeling of you are enjoying your privacy most of time but he/she’s always there when you need’em sorta feeling

 

Though this post has already veered off to separate sleeping .. 😬

[Qapla]

35 minutes ago, VisualizeUrParadise said:

Though this post has already veered off to separate sleeping

 

Not so sure it "veered off" since the OP mentioned "bedrooms" ... that is why I pointed out the need for clarification 

 

[EccentricM]

39 minutes ago, VisualizeUrParadise said:

Though this post has already veered off to separate sleeping .. 😬

I had to re-read your original post, I too automatically read that post as to be talking about bedrooms, lol. I realise now.

Edited January 1, 2021 by EccentricM

[rolypoly]

I have the strangest family situation, and i never could really ask about it.  It was like hushhush.  I had an aunt & uncle that absolutely hated each other (from what i hear).  They had no scriptural reason for divorce.  But it was so bad, they simply couldnt live w each other.  So they separated.   They lived like 20 miles apart and attended different congregations.   They visited each other occasionally, went out to eat, etc.  But lived totally separately.  I believe the arrangement had him still providing for the family, financially.  But he was a Ministerial Servant and she was a Pioneer.  This was many years ago, they are dead now.  Never could really understand how that was allowed, but it was the dirty south and i think in those days there were a lot of odd things.  

[Doug]

A friend in the congregation has observed marriages crash and burn over the years.

She is in her forties and still single.

She thinks the best arrangement is a duplex. Each gets their own side.

Meet up by appointment. Or, possibly, just leave the porch light on.

Edited January 2, 2021 by Doug
Spelling

[EccentricM]

11 hours ago, rolypoly said:

They had no scriptural reason for divorce.  But it was so bad, they simply couldnt live w each other

My parents have been in that situation ever since I was 1 years old. Still married, but seperated, neither willing to comit adultery because of Jehovah's commands.

[rolypoly]

2 hours ago, EccentricM said:

My parents have been in that situation ever since I was 1 years old. Still married, but seperated, neither willing to comit adultery because of Jehovah's commands.

So there must be precedent for this type of situation? As long as adultery isn't committed? I just assumed it was somehow unscriptural. Might have done that years ago with my wife!! Just kidding. Kind of

[EccentricM]

23 minutes ago, rolypoly said:

So there must be precedent for this type of situation? As long as adultery isn't committed? I just assumed it was somehow unscriptural. Might have done that years ago with my wife!! Just kidding. Kind of

If a couple cannot get on, it's not unscriptual to live in two seperate locations if it promtes peace, more so if a person's saftey is involved. Be it emotional, mental or physical. Elders will try and reunite the couple to see if they can solve their problems, but in cases where its not possible, they are left to their own devices in handling such a circumstance.

[EccentricM]

https://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/1102008088

 

Quote

In certain extreme situations, some Christians have decided to separate from or divorce a marriage mate even though that one has not committed sexual immorality. In such a case, the Bible stipulates that the departing one “remain unmarried or else be reconciled with” the mate. (1 Corinthians 7:11) Such a Christian is not free to pursue a third party with a view to remarriage. (Matthew 5:32) Consider here a few exceptional situations that some have viewed as a basis for separation.
 

Willful nonsupport...

Extreme physical abuse...

Absolute endangerment of spiritual life...

 

In all cases involving such extreme situations as those just discussed, no one should put pressure on the innocent mate either to separate or to stay with the other.

 

Edited January 2, 2021 by EccentricM

[Qapla]

There are two principals that may come into consideration if a couple lives in separate locations :

• Is the husband still financially supporting his wife?
• Is the husband spiritually supporting his wife?
• Is the husband emotionally supporting his wife
• Is he "exemplary" in the eyes of the Congregation and the Organization
• Is she "exemplary" in the eyes of the Congregation and the Organization

While it is  "not unscriptural to live in two separate locations" - it may not be "exemplary" and could, therefore, disqualify one or both mates for "special service" - including serving as a MS, Elder, Pioneer or even LDC or Delegate.

 

We had a situation here that fell in this category. A local sister who no longer had a husband married a Brother she had known years ago. He was living in another state. Both of them were free to marry since their former mates were dead. Before they wed he had agreed to sell his house and move here - her son and grand some grandchildren live in this area. After they wed he decided not to move to Florida. So, he continued to live in his house and she stayed living here. They would make extended visits to each other.

 

When the CO visited and found out the situation, he had a talk with the sister. He explained that, while there was no scriptural reason she could not continue to live here and visit her husband, since she was serving as a Regular Pioneer, if she wanted to remain serving as one they needed to rectify their living arrangements to remain "exemplary". She prayed about the matter and moved to where her husband lives.

 

 

[pnutts]

On 1/1/2021 at 7:10 AM, Dages said:

Is the snoring that loud ?

And then some!!!!!😅