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We have 60 plastic flamingos in our front yard. They were buried under the snow, but two days of rain have caused them to reappear. I think they look so pretty against the white of the snow. I tell people, "You know it's springtime in Capistrano when the swallows return. And you know when it's springtime in Trenary when the flamingos reappear." My husband's older sister 'flocked' him on his 60th B.D. Somebody stole five of them a few years back, but we replaced them. I was going to put a notice on the local post office bulletin board: "To whomever it was that stole the five flamingos: It is a little know fact, but plastic pink flamingos mate for life. Please return them before their mates die of loneliness."

There an be little doubt that the Sun is burning fuel, sooner or later either you put in more fuel or the fire goes out. When my wood stove starts to cool I put in more wood. Do we have doubt that Jehovah can refuel the fire as needed?

;) Grandpa The Gambler The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney. The auditor said, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable." "I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Grandpa. "How about a demonstration?" The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead." Grandpa says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye." The auditor thinks a moment and says, "It's a bet." Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops. Grandpa says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye." Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous. "Want to go double or nothing?" Grandpa asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between." The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again. Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he ends up urinating all over the auditor's desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands. "Are you okay?" the auditor asks. "Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!" Sent from my C6802 using Tapatalk

Oh ya! That's just your opinion! just because my opinion changed, doesn't mean I'm not still right.

Or ...... After living millions of years as perfect humans we'll discover that our sun functions in other ways then thought in the medieval dark ages of the last days in 2016 .... LOL

So, dear brothers and sisters, what does this mean for us? That when we place a tract or magazine and refer to the jw.org website, we need to pray that the householder doesn't miss the "j" key and end up on Keith Wheeler ministries

Without going in to too much detail maybe you can explain to her as a friend that you are currently visiting your physicians for respiratory problems and other complications and if she could please use the hand sanitizer and tissues. Even the hospitals and clinics have sanitizer dispensers every where and encourage patients and staff to please be diligent in using them.

Yes, I saw this yesterday; haven't had a chance to listen to it yet, but I'm on Holiday this week so I'll have time to do that (and begin practising the new songs)... So happy to have Job and looking forward to "Song of Solomon" because I think of all the bible books, that's the one where having the different voices will really help with understanding.

LOL I actually went right to JW.ORG and it was fine then Ruben fixed his post so my post didn't fit!

Hey Jerry: I find this to be the case with me too. I think that its the case with most people reading online. Correct formatting is gentle on the eyes. Sometimes at work I have to edit very long documents and I literally have to separate in small paragraphs to be able to edit properly. Pauline: I also really enjoyed this thread you started and your valuable experience.

Sent from my C6802 using Tapatalk

Yeah sorry the picture upload didn't work. Read my post again, I edited it ^^ I should probably explain before mass-panic ensues. I missed the "j" key while typing "jw.org" and hit the "k" instead, thus ending up on the website of some guy who's carrying the cross around the world. For a brief moment, I had no clue what was going on and was totally confused. Can't stop laughing about it right now

No more FEAR I'm scared... I'm afraid... I'm frightened... I'm anxious... I'm terrified...

I start wondering about an experience I had with Steve Searles. Googled him. I was curious what was out there, publicly. And I ended up home! Here. Anyway, I was having trouble with the password. Had not been able to get one for 3 months. I finally contacted him. I am still flabbergasted at what took place. I am banned, etc. he accused me of being, "abusive". I, too, ended up in tears. And he was not going to refund my 36.00$. Told Paypal, I was, "abusive". I told Paypal I had the entire exchange, which I would be happy to provide. Next thing I know, he refunded my money. Bottom line, you do not treat ANY of our brothers and sisters the way I was treated. Period. And I told him so. In reality, I wanted to check and see how he was handling our new arrangement, as I thought the slave pretty well took care of it. The man has a negative energy that taints anything that might be on his site. I do not care how useful it might be. I started to wonder if he is in good standing with the congregation. You don't hide anything from Jehovah. And, he pretty well trashed me. I gave him room for an apology. Nope. But, I did apologize. For upsetting him to the extent that I did. "Turn reproach into reproof". I tried. I bid a healthy farewell to Mr. Searles.

Sorry to once again be banging that old drum about the unbap pub. that visits me regularly. She was a substitute teacher for a while and got the training on coughing in elbow, not hands. We once had a discussion about it, and she said ,'Look, I'm not coughing in my hand." She has alternately told me that she has whooping cough (for which there is not treatment, according to her,) and bronchitis. My understanding of whooping cough is that it needs to be treated and is highly contagious. Today, I sat a couple of seats down from her (she takes up two seats- one for her, one for her books,) and she coughed productively into her hand throughout the meeting. Now, when I retired 10 months ago, I was at death's door and have worked at stabilizing my health. I had to hand the mike to her today and followed that by hand sanitizer. I had prepared a lunch for us and added some items just for her, as she eats wheat and sugar and I do not. However, at the end of the meeting, I asked her how she was feeling. She said," I'm fine, I just have an ongoing cough." I told her I wasn't feeling too well, myself, and suggested we reschedule some time together. Not a lie, I have an outbreak of hives from allergic reaction. I will probably have her in for lunch in a couple of days, and was wondering if it would be rude to arrange her place setting to include tissues and hand sanitizer. I see my doc once a month and my cardiologist every 3 months. As an asthmatic, I am having upper respiratory discomfort, but have been told I have nothing contagious. Nonetheless, I have avoided visiting people in the hospital, b/c I don't want my stuffiness to be interpreted as a hazard to their health. Feedback, anyone?

Glenn, please be careful with eating way too much milk chocolate as it can be detrimental to your health mostly lots of sugar, carbs and in large amounts harmful to the heart. and not to mention aggravating existing problems such as acid re-flux, high oxalates / kidney disease and irritable bowel disease. Chocolate and Cannabis have similarities in serotonin and dopamine nuero-transmiters in the brain. A brother at our Circuit Assembly mentioned yesterday that our dreams and thoughts are heavily affected by this system of things and inherited sin. And that we should pray personally asking Jehovah for forgiveness of our improper thoughts.

Why is it that when you are sick, (URI), you feel least like doing all the health related stuff you know you REALLY need to do, you feel least like doing them? You just want to go to sleep and wake up all better. Forget the nonsense.

Brigette, where do you live and what´s the name of this restaurant??? I`M COMING!!! P.S. Wow - so the Cheesecake factory really exixts? I thought it´s only an invention of TBBT

I can only say thank you for all the good suggestions I received from this site. I used them yesterday at our gathering and it was a 'hit'! Thanks again.

Hey Bro. Peter...My terlet is spelt correctly... Yerinal

You know, we don't know what Satan will use before the "end" to get us to doubt our beliefs, - a scenerio like this could actually happen. Can you picture the government shutting down Jw.org and then posting stuff like this? This is where our powers of discernment and our trust in Jehovah and what we've learned through the FDS will come into play in a big way.

It's a case of saying that if you want too much you'll get nothing! http://www.zmescience.com/science/physics/the-pythagorean-greedy-cup-423545/

Love it! It's a 2500 year old dribble cup....

Local Boat Works, beautiful

I don´t know if it´s common in your countries, but here in Germany we have many jokes about blonde women (based on the cliché that blonde women are "not very smart" ). This is one of my favourites: A blonde woman walks along the street one evening, when she notices a streetlamp with a peace of paper on the lamp pole. It´s an advertisement for a flat to rent. As she is intereseted, she starts knocking on the lamp pole. From the opposite street side, a female police officer - also blonde - watches the scene and askes her: "What for God´s sake are you doing there?". She answeres: "Well, I´m interested in this flat, so I´m knocking because I have some questions, but nobody seems to be at home." The police officer looks at her speechlessly, thinks about it and then shouts to her: "ARE YOU KIDDING ME???" She replies: "No, why". And the police officer says: "Look up, the light is on - so there must be someone at home!"

Just a small typo, hey Ruben? Funny, made me laugh too (imagining you spurting out your coffee seeing KW wheeling his cross around )

Stuff happens Ruben lol slow down ....... i noticed when I typed in JW.TalK there's now a web page for recovering JW ......tell you the lion is roaring and hard at work.!

By the way, enjoy this from the last convention

Is that the little sister that was featured on that broadcast?

EDUCATION

Being 20 I consider myself young and of those who say the truth is boring far and away it's not because the truth is bring but rather because they would rather be doing something wrong and try and excuse it by blaming the truth. Of the other set who believe the truth is bring the problem I notice is they make no effort. I think whether or not the truth will prove to be boring is a choice. If you want it to be boring it will be. If you don't want it to be then it won't. If you're not changing it you're choosing it! I do think it's important for social activities and recreation. If you're trying to encourage someone don't focus on just inviting them field, get involved in some form of recreation that they enjoy. Also don't even focus on encouraging them, just be their genuine friend (I say this because when people have shown interest in me it comes across if they are genuine or if they feel like they are doing you a "charity" by talking to you). I know that put me off certain people when I was younger, it sent the message "I'm not interested in hanging out with you unless it's out ministry". I'm not saying don't have the field and spiritual things and I'm not encouraging placing the main emphasis on recreation. I find my calender booked with weekends away with friends but they will always involve going field as a part of it, and we always get to the meetings. But you see most of my friends live in other congregations in other towns. But I only have those friends because I made an effort. For young ones friends are like hooks. Friends in the world will pull them to the world, friends in the truth will pull them to the truth. The problem is it is up to the young ones to choose (once they start getting older anyway). When you have friendship with the world the truth does seem boring and restrictive, but when you have friends in the truth you realise the world doesn't know what fun really is, the world is boring place. Many young ones more locally have complained about the truth being boring and it's like "well what concrete steps have you made to change that?" ...can they even name one thing they have done... Some of these ones seem to have no trouble making efforts to hang out with worldly people. Makes one wonder. I think as a congregation it's good not to be killjoys, of course we don't encourage wild parties but at the same time it's like when I was growing up it felt like every gathering was frowned upon if it wasn't witnessing. There were two congregations in my hometown and I never got much chance to associate with the other one because it just wasn't done. It's a shame too because things started getting better and I discovered some really awesome people right under my nose, but that was just before I moved away. I know my comment has been all over the place it's just really struck a nerve.

Me too, me too. Almost exactly like Vicki. Steve wouldn't let me explain, lambasted me, and told me never to contact him again.

Oh, that's interesting because I also had a rather abrupt message also when i cancelled the paypal, similar to Vicki. This is disturbing.

From a British online satirical magazine.